
BEST APPROACH TO DISCIPLINE I: THE RIGHT MOTIVATION FOR DISCIPLINE
- Posted by Edith Ohaja
- On September 13, 2016
- 21 Comments
Intro:
This is the first segment of a five-part teaching series on how to discipline those under us to get the best results. By God’s grace, I’ve drawn from my insight gained from years of studying the Scriptures and my personal experiences in disciplining young people in my own home and at work in writing these teachings.
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The series will look at the proper attitudes or intentions that should inform the disciplinary measures we take, the conditions or background we should create for those measures to be effective and the correct ways of administering discipline. I pray that the series will help you to have a better relationship with those under your authority and see your attempts to correct their attitudes and conduct yield positive fruits in Jesus’ name.
THE RIGHT MOTIVATION FOR DISCIPLINE
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A teenage girl is hurrying to get home. Her friends tell her to relax ’cause it’s only 7:30 p.m. Her response:
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“You don’t understand. My parents gave me strict instructions to come home before 8 p.m. If you girls want me to be able to hang out with you again, help me get a taxi that can take me home fast.”
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The parents have given their daughter a measure of freedom but expect her to come home at a certain time, perhaps for her own safety. If she fails to comply, there will be consequences as she has explained.
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Many of us have people under us and one of our responsibilities is to discipline them as the girl’s parents are attempting to do. And for purposes of emphasis, that means we are trying to inculcate in them certain rules of conduct and would punish them when necessary to correct them if they fail to adhere to those rules.
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For that discipline to be effective, it needs to be based on the right reasons which will in turn help us to adopt the right strategies in meting it out.
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Discipline should always have the best interests of the subject at heart. Our goal should be to improve the attitudes and conduct of the subject and not to make ourselves look good in the sight of others, to give them the impression we are not negligent or permissive. That type of eye-service discipline is usually fleeting and inconsistent. The person involved often sees through our insincerity and would fail to commit himself or herself to change.
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For example, some parents scold their kids when guests are around but they don’t follow through. They may complain of their kids’ untidiness but they don’t insist on specific and lasting steps that should be taken to correct it. With time, the kids begin to ignore their complaints.
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It’s important to ask God to help us see people under us as He does. Beyond any shadow of doubt, God places a very high value on all of us, He loves us immensely. Here are a couple of scriptures that show God’s love for us and our fellow human beings.
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1 John 4:9-10
“God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (New Living Translation)
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Romans 5:8
“But God has shown us how much he loves us – it was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us!” (Good News Translation)
David often mused on God’s extravagant love for man in his songs as exemplified in Psalm 8.
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Psalm 8:4-5
“What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.” (New Living Translation)
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The apostle John admonishes us on how to relate with others in view of God’s love for us.
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1 John 4:11
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (New International Version)
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When we have this understanding, we’ll love those under our authority in spite of the hard time and inconvenience they may be giving us, just as God loves us and is patient with us in our own failings. And from that love will flow a dedication to see them become the best that they can be with God’s help and ours.
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Such discipline that is well-intentioned will look beyond the subordinate’s misbehaviour and attempt to identify what is causing it. This will lead to a more sympathetic approach than when the worst is assumed about the subject after a superficial appraisal.
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Discipline should not merely be a reaction to a personal slight or insult nor should it be activated by jealousy. If, for example, we are angry that people under us are not respectful enough, we should ask ourselves why. Perhaps, we need to recalibrate our interactions with them and respect ourselves. And we should celebrate people under us when they do well, not see ourselves as competing with them and hide under the guise of discipline to slow down their success.
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As I said earlier, the bench mark for our interaction with everyone should always be how God relates with us and with them. Hebrews 12:10 says that God disciplines us for our own good. May He help us to do the same for others in Jesus’ name.
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Watch out for #2 in this teaching series. It’s coming up soon. You are blessed!
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21 Comments