A MIND OF HER OWN (I) SHORT STORY
Bridget watched her mother in the Lord, Didi, and a brother in the church, Zion, whispering in the corner. From their occasional glances in her direction, she knew they were talking about her. She also knew what that portended and she was getting angrier by the minute. She decided to go outside the church hall for some fresh air and to calm herself down. She didn’t want her prayers during the vigil they were attending to go unanswered which would be the case if she stayed angry.
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(Related: What have I got myself into?)
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But Didi followed her outside and told her to go and see the pastor briefly with Brother Zion. Didi, a civil servant and part-time evangelist, was concluding plans to have them joined in wedlock despite Bridget’s repeated protests.
[bctt tweet=”This story’s about the loyalty and conflict that can arise in Christian discipleship relationships.” username=”edithohaja1″]
“No, I will not!” Bridget declared.
“What is wrong with you?” Didi asked. “You think you can do better than Brother Zion? Or you want to go back to your former lifestyle?” That was the last straw and Bridget exploded.
“What makes you think I’ll go back to my former lifestyle if I don’t do what you say? Are you the one who saved me or the one who’s keeping me in the faith? It may come to you as a surprise, but I have a mind of my own.”
“Where was your mind when I picked you from the gutter, messing yourself up to survive? And where was your mind when you fell into sin with that small boy on campus four months ago?”
“Look at you trying to take the glory of God! So I was hustling to survive and I’ve made mistakes as a believer but you’ve always been spotless! Wonder why you got saved then.” While Didi was struggling to muster a response, she continued, “Even God allows us to exercise our free will, but you keep dominating and manipulating me into doing as you say without considering if it is what I want or God’s will for me. There has to be a line between ministering to someone and using charismatic witchcraft on them.”
“Are you calling me a witch?”
“I’m just saying I will not be your lapdog anymore. If this relationship is to continue, you have to be content with giving me advice and allowing me to weigh it before deciding what I will eventually do. I will no more have you calling the shots and letting my mind go to waste,” she answered and began to walk away.
“Don’t come running to me when the idols of your father’s house or your former friends start harassing you,” Didi threw after her but Bridget did not even break her stride as she made her way back into the church auditorium.
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(Related: Loving Rosemary)
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Although she was grateful to Didi for preaching to her and assisting her spiritually and materially since she gave her life to Christ, she was feeling suffocated by her overbearing attitude. And it wasn’t just on the issue of marriage, she had her nose in virtually everything Bridget did. She expected every decision, every step Bridget took to meet her approval first, down to how she spent her money and who she made friends with.
Initially, Bridget was grateful for the guidance because she saw that the Christian lifestyle was totally at variance with how she had lived before. But after fourteen months, she felt she needed to come out from under Didi’s wings. Apart from being an undergraduate, she had read her Bible through in the first year and had a continuing habit of reading four chapters everyday. She read Christian books, listened to Christian music, and was regular at church and Didi’s fellowship. She also had a small circle of Christian friends which she hoped to keep expanding. She didn’t think that being a Christian consisted solely in seeing everything the way Didi did. She didn’t want to lose her individuality and become another Didi clone like many others. She yearned to broaden her horizon.
But Didi could not bear to be contradicted or opposed. She saw every expression of contrary opinion by Bridget as an act of disloyalty and betrayal. And she refused to acknowledge that Bridget had any knowledge of the Bible to speak of, even after she told her of her Bible reading practice. She dismissed the whole thing as head knowledge as though she had exclusive access to revelation. For example. when Bridget said she was not comfortable with women pastoring churches, a practice which Didi applauds, she flared up as if Bridget had blasphemed and shouted her down. She was averse to debate and expected Bridget to swallow her views and just shut up but it wasn’t working anymore.
[bctt tweet=”Should Christians feel obliged to always agree with their spiritual parents and leaders?” username=”edithohaja1″]
The resentment in Bridget had built up gradually and by the time Didi introduced the subject of marriage to Zion, the girl was determined to oppose her without giving the young man a chance. Unfortunately, Didi persisted until matters came to a head in the altercation they just had outside the church. Bridget wanted to concentrate on the praise and worship going on but she was feeling tearful. She felt a hand on her shoulder and it was Zion. Surprisingly, she was glad to see him.
“Can I see you outside for a minute?” he whispered and she followed him. They went to the car park far from the music in the church in order to hear themselves.
“I don’t want to waste your time but I need to tell you that I’m not happy you’re quarreling with Mummy Didi on account of me.” She wanted to say something but he held up his hand. “I overheard your exchange earlier. Please, I beg you to make up with her. Perhaps, if I didn’t pester her about how much I like you, none of this would have happened. I hate to be the one to ruin your relationship.”
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(Related: Angel in the Shadows)
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This brother is not bad at all, Bridget thought. But in order not to stray from the subject in hand, she replied, “You don’t understand, Brother Zion.” She noticed that his name had a nice ring to it. “My quarrel with Mummy Didi has been a long time coming, as they say. There’s no need to blame yourself.”
“But you know that God has called us unto peace.” Unto peace – she would have teased him for using King James* English to converse but she didn’t know him well and didn’t want him to think she was trivialising their discussion.
“I will do what I can to sort things out.”
“By the way, my name is Zion.” Bridget rolled her eyes.
Haven’t I just called you that?
“I believe we shall meet again, very soon.” She smiled as she shook his extended hand and told herself, “Jesus nwere mmadu.”*
[bctt tweet=”God gave us free will but it should be exercised under His guidance. #quote” username=”edithohaja1″]
She wondered what she would do if Didi rebuffed her because of the things she said during her outburst.
I will cross that bridge when I get to it and it certainly won’t be tonight.
-To be continued-
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*King James’ English is 17th Century English as used in the King James Version of the Bible.
*“Jesus nwere mmadu” is Igbo for Jesus has people (like good-looking people, well-behaved people … )
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Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2017
Hello! I would love to know your views on the subject of this fictional story.
Is independent thinking healthy or a sign of rebellion in a Christian?
Are there areas where it should be encouraged and areas where it should be discouraged?
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You can also like my Facebook page, Aunty Edith, follow me on Instagram, GooglePlus (1), GooglePlus (2), Twitter (1), Twitter (2), Pinterest and StumbleUpon. Plus, you can connect with me on LinkedIn. Jesus is Lord!
Thank God for freedom!! For whom the son sets free is free indeed!!
Amen. Halleluyah! Thanks for visiting, Keisha. God’s superabundant blessings on you and your family in Jesus ‘ name.
This is a really good story to represent a sometimes difficult topic. Love the scripture you chose and the quote about exercising free will under God’s guidance!
So glad to hear from you, Leah! Glory to God and success to your projects in Jesus’ name.
I feel that Christianity is a way of life and not a religion and should not be forced on any body.
Awesome story! Very thought provoking. There definitely needs to be a balance of free will and listening to Godly counsel. Will pin!
Yes, my dear! We lose something when we throw away our minds and allow others yo do our thinking. The other extreme of not listening to anyone is equally detrimental to our spiritual health and overall well-being. May God enlarge your coast, Emily, in Jesus’ name.
This story pulled me in and I’m looking forward to reading more!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Kathryn! Will complete it soon. God bless you splendidly in Jesus’ name.
Hehehehehehe. This story is veryyyyyyy familiar! Very Very. While having a mentor is the best thing ever, since you get to avoid mistakes that are totally not worth making but at the same time I believe it is like parenting, give them the advice, pray for them in your closet and give them the opportunity to make mistakes or their own decisions. Sometimes people learn from their pain ( totally unnecessary by the way) but that is one of the bad or uncomfortable sides of parenting- allowing them fly. I have also learnt that prayers solve 80 percent of these issues. Especially praying from Ephesians 1:15-23
Thank you, Ma. I look forward to the next installment
Ps: I think Sister Bridget is liking Old King James?
You’re very right, Chinwe! We shouldn’t try to force grownup subordinates to do as we say. We should present the godly options to them, warn them of the ungodly options and pray they make the best choice for themselves. You are lifted, my dear!
Independent thinking without the presence of the Holy Spirit can be very unhealthy but one actually has the freedom to take decisions and not being superimposed by another person. Mentoring is not dictatorial, people should understand that. Thanks, Ma, and keep the succeeding episodes flowing.
The distinction you have made is very important, Benjamin! May God’s blessings be your portion always in Jesus’ name.
fabulous
Praise God! It is well with you, Iheanyi!
Just like I said earlier via Facebook, independent thinking should have a limit. Some decisions are better taken with guidance of people whom u consider superior but not in every matter. For instance, marriage is a private and a lifetime adventure. U need to have a mind of ur own on that. On the other hand, independent thinking can only be rebellion when u refuse to acknowledge the Spirit of God (that’s the Holy Spirit).
Well said, Emmanuel. You are favoured in Jesus’ name.
Always the smooth flowing writer of essence. Nice knowing you
Thank you and praise God! You are superbly blessed in Jesus’ name.
Independent thinking would be the exercise of the freedom that Christ gives. I think Bridget’s maturity has surpassed her teacher and mentor perhaps, and poor Didi needs to adjust her focus on her God, the one she directed Bridget to. I am fascinated with how these ideas come to you?? Praise God for what He gives us !!!
Thanks for your insight, my dearest Tammy! I am also amazed at the issues raised in these posts and the manner in which they are addressed. It is simply the Lord’s doing and it is marvellous in my eyes.
See, its becoming rampant. Mentors want to even own your life. They want to decide for you. Imagine when your mentor tells you indirectly that you have not been coming home to wash his clothes and clean his house, play the errand boy and stuffs like that. I think some things should be personal decisions, not coercion. Aunty, next episode, please. I like your observation. “No be because of me person go bible school.”
No, the instances you mentioned are unacceptable. Like you said, ciercion leads to bondage. A believer should think twice about any relationship that turns them into a slave of another. We should serve one another in love but we should do these things freely, not because we are bound by threats and emotional blackmail. I will post the next episode soon. You are blessed beyond measure in Jesus’ name.
Having a mentor is not bad but subjecting yourself totally to his views and demands without any self determination amounts to psychological slavery which only makes your mind to wane and deteriorate.
As far as one submits him/herself to God, I think what he/she needs is advice and guidance but not imposition.
Nice post..
Very well articulated, Godwin. Havea a beautiful new month!
Independent thinking should be encouraged in issues as sensitive as marriage. The advice of a mentor should not be neglected either. It is however not a must that it should be adhered to. The most important thing is doing what makes you feel free from any form of regret or ‘if I had known situations’. As for sister Bridget, I think she is catching feelings. ‘Jesus nwere mmadu n’ ezie’.
Jesus nwere mmadu, no be small. Brothers and sisters, shine your eyes. Lol! Bless you, Gloria!
This is the same issue I face in the church. We are humans and have minds of our own which we wish to use from time to time. Of course, guidance is always needed but disregarding our opinions on matters isn’t the way. I wonder how possible it is to respect our spiritual leaders without them shoving their ‘right ways’ down our throats.
Nice work as always, Ma.
There is always a way and not every spiritual parent is like Didi. Grace to you in your Christian walk, my dear!
A real mind of her own indeed. Spiritual parents are supposed to help us in every aspect of our lives but matters of the heart are not supposed to be coerced on a person.
Matters of the heart or any other for that matter. Bless you, Favour!
Our spiritual parents are people God has placed above us inorder for our lives to grow in the way he wants,that’s why they try their possible best to groom us but they are not supposed to decide our lives for us because we have our own free will and mind.They have shown us christ,he can also give us the grace to discern what is good for us in life.
True! It’s not healthy to surrender responsibility for our lives to another person.
I totally understand that Didi is trying to look out for the young Bridget,especially considering the fact that she had a dark past,but then..I think people deserve some privacy and freedom.you don’t just choke people up!Even Jesus did not go about forcing people to follow him.it’s not done anywhere.the young woman is trying,she does not need all that guilt tripping and those judgemental sermons! The didi really needs to give her some space,in plain terms,Leave her alone!!!!
Ok, maybe not leave her totally alone! But just acknowledge that she is growing and let her think for herself sometimes. Guidance should be offered with coercion.
In as much as we need to obey our spiritual parents but we should not lose ourselves in doing so. Zion is actually a nice brother but Bridget should be allowed to make her choice
independent thinking is good to some extend, like in this case Didi is not suppose to choose husband for bridget but rather advice her on the qualities of the people she should consider as husbands. it should be encouraged in a way especially in the life of youths who are still in their impressionable age; just advice them on what to do and the consequences of whatever action they are planning to take then allow them do whatever they wish to do.
in all things ipray the spirit of God should direct us on the right part to take…Amen.
I believe that one shouldn’t be authoritative or judgemental even while looking out for another person (just as Didi was). You can make suggestions and hope that the person you are giving those suggestions sees reasons with you. Everyone has the right to make decisions of their own ,you shouldn’t force your will on others.
people should be free to make their own decisions, its a free world, so DIdi did not do the right thing. she should just advise Bridget, correct her when she is mistaken but not in a dictatorial manner, pray for her and hope she makes a good decision.
we have our own minds and decisions to make as human. all Bridget needs is advice and guidance not imposition or subjecting her to certain rules and regulations.
I so much believe in that notion “independent thinking ” because we are now in a civilized world where I believe every individual can differentiate between good and bad and not living our life based on the dictates of another individual because such advice could be misleading, secondly I believe that it is God’s duty to judge and all humans have their ugly past, so is very wrong for Didi to be judging her based on her ugly past which is not advisable as a Christian and a sin unto God
I believe independent thinking is actually healthy for a Christian….. At this point,the person knows what is right and what is wrong. He or she should be able to decide what he/she wants so that whatever comes out of it is on the person and not on the individual trying to boss him around
some people are too domineering and possessive that no amount of spirituality can take that away from them…Didi shouldn’t have acted the way she did…when you convert and lead someone to Christ, it is very pertinent that you follow her up to make sure she doesn’t go back to her usual life but that doesn’t mean you will take or make decisions for her and it is ungodly to constantly remind her about her past each time there is a misunderstanding
this is a moral lesson for the preachers of the gospel.some of them actually do the work of Christ itself rather than spreading the good news which God commanded. if they win a soul for Christ they will so follow you up in such a way that will be so unpleasant.
Not everyone needs to know your business and be in your life at every slight chance.
An overbearing attitude is too much to handle
Being over domineering is not good, everyone is entitled to his/her self opinions you know; Bridget should be allowed to make her choice.
One should not lose oneself trying to impress his/her Christian parents…
Decision for marriage is supposed to be taken with great care. marriage is a life time commitment. Didi did the right thing by introducing Zion to Bridget but it should not be to force her to accept him. Bridget should be allowed to pray over it. After all, she won’t live with them when they are married.
independent life is worth having because we are all human beings. we are all entitled to make decisions for ourselves. otherwise it can be disastrous.
Bridget is a grown and independent woman. She has every right to stand firm on what she wants. Didi has an excessive belief in norms and traditions.
I believe we all have the right to think for ourselves as well as take responsibility for things we do. Mummy Didi is trying to be dictatorial which God is not himself neither command he us to be. Mummy Didi is not right at this point. Am eager to know what happened next. Nice one ma.
Bridget is right, Didi should mind her business, she will not live with Bridget to manage their marital affairs when they get married eventually.
First of all, i would like to state that people(especially women are entitled to their own decision when it comes to marriage. Bridget is a grown woman, irrespective of her past life, she should be allowed to have a mind of her own and not subjected to a forced marriage from anyone. Didi was wrong to have used Bridget’s past mistakes against her just to lure her into marrying broher Zion cause i believe in the saying ‘to whom much is given, much is expected’. As for Bridget and Zion, what will be, will be.
Interesting and educative story ma. If God uses you to win a soul to the kingdom, don’t take the glory by expecting the convert to always do as you say. secondly, let your Godmother or father not be an obstacle between you and God. because they are your godmother does not mean that all they say is from God’s mouth. Be careful for there will be no excuse on the last day. Didi’s expectation was wrong.
this is a very interesting story. to be sincere i really don’t like the way some people see christianity because one makes mistake and you correct the person does not give you the right to feel as if you are in control or you own the person’s life so for that you will want to plan and even try to make decisions for the person. this is not good. just like the case of Didi, i don’t really like her attitude over Bridget. she does not behave like a true christian. she has this dictatorship life in her which is not good for a christian. i think we should also learn that we are not God and that it is only HIM that have the final say in our life and not anybody.
very reflective! i have never liked someone forcing another to do something, rather suggestion is better. Because at the end, the story might not be good. On another note, Zion should have approached Bridget himself, instead of going through another person. Also, having Bridget do things on her own should not be a problem, if she remains focused, as she claimed (reading the bible), then it is laudable.
Yes i believe everyone should be helped time after time but not forced in whatever way into what they do not like just because they were wrong at a point in time ,even Jesus uses love and does not compel us when he has all the powers to do so.
I don’t think people should impose their beliefs on others whether religious beliefs or not. This is the fault I have seen in many Christians of nowadays
One thing about having people take certain decision for you in life is that they don’t know when to stop. when you complain that they are trying to live your life for you, they complain that you are being rebellious. its a good thing that Brother Zion came to talk for himself. he isn’t bad after all.
I think the misunderstanding between Bridget and her mentor is as a result of their not understanding themselves well.BUT FROM THE look of things they might still make up.I think Zion is actually a cool guy.
I must say that i love Bridget’s spirit. If i were in her shoes i wouldn’t give in to any form of bullying too because that’s basically what Didi tried to do. Brother Zion doesn’t seem to be such a bad guy and i’m glad Bridget realises that in the second part of this story. It’s a beautiful story ma’am
Its not really fair on the part of Didi to always make reference for all she has done for Bridget. But bro Zion is really nice ohh
Can’t wait for the follow up story ma, this is very interesting. How most parents in the Lord always love to lord it over their spiritual children down to decisions that ought to be personal.
Nice one ma,it tells us that as a human ,we have freedom in Christ Jesus and freedom in the society as well nobody has the right to dominate our life on matter what we have gained from the person or not. That we a mind of our own and we don’t have to agree to whatever we are being told, we have to think and look into what we are being told, to know whether it is suitable to our own life style
Helping someone is a wonderful thing, but is not good to remind the person of his or her past life. And is good to say your mind at all time. Thank you MA for this wonderful story.
I really am speechless but for one I think Bridget should be allowed to take decisions on her own besides shes a grown up. Didi should be able to give her space sometimes and consider her opinion.
That you helped me up doesn’t mean you own me, I sure owe you a gratitude, but if you allot some freedom I sure owe you plenty of gratitude. We rather be helpers not pesters
Lol!!
Ride on Bridget, don’t allow anyone force you into something you don’t want to get involved in. Some religious fanatics just have this way of putting pressure on others. They want you to do everything they say, think how they think and probably act how they act.
Well, I can’t wait to see what happens next, because judging from the last few sentences, Bridget is already catching feelings!
Nice one ma!
Suffocating people with this whole Christianity thing is really bad and never ends well..I’m glad Bridget has realised how important her freedom is and has taken a bold step
very thought provoking story. Didi was wrong to constantly remind bridget about her past when ever they had an issue. for the bible said whomever the son of man has set free is free indeed! i was pulled in and i look forward to reading the concluding part.
This is very wrong for mummy Didi to be making reference each time she wants to say anything about her giving a helpful hand to someone , because even in the word of God it’s said not to allow your left hand see what you have in your right hand so therefore it’s wrong for her to always do so.
The need for spiritual guidance cannot be overemphasized but one should not be held bound from discovering things spiritually. The Holy Spirit is our teacher so he teaches everyone who is ready to learn. But for a certain spiritual figure to domineer over your exercising your liberties in Christ is bad. God bless you ma.
When someone repents with all his heart, we should try not to remind them about there past sinful life just like Didi who reminded Bridget about her past sinful life. This is a nice story.
Overbearing attitude is awful. Didi is getting it all wrong. You help someone get off the ground does not make the person your pampered slave. That would have been the case right from the days of Christ our Lord when he gave himself up to be crucified for us to get off the ground. Let’s learn to be selfless when we help.
NOP! independent thinking isnt a sign of rebellion in Christianity, by the way Christ has given us our freewill and it is left to us to do what we think is right and not letting people who come as spiritual moms and dads to boss us around. but the
t doesnt mean we should go about quarreling, in just saying its best to weigh options
Interesting story, i love the advise from bro Zion, irrespective of the fact that Bridget, has long been waiting for a day to counter mummy Didi.
To be sensitive both in physical and in spiritual is very crucial for every rational being, and most especially Christians.Independent thinking with the presence of the Holy Spirit can be very unhealthy, but one actually has the freedom to take decisions and not be influence by another person.Mentoring is not dictatorial, people should note that.thanks ma for this Godly piece…God bless!
Bridget actually wanted not to be with the pastor but she didn’t and Didi wanted her to keep doing whatever she says because she brought her to Christ back. Bridget needs a mind of her own.
Hmmm Didi thinks marrying Bridget to a brother in church would better her spiritual life, she is clearly over stepping her boundaries and thank God Bridget is not even taking it likely. Nice godly piece, ma!
It is high time someone told Didi the bitter truth. Everyone makes mistakes
Having a mind of your own can really cause troubles when leaders above you tend to shove their will down your throat. I feel Bridget. There is totally no need for Didi to decide who she thinks is good for Bridget even if she thinks its God’s will, she should at least respect Bridget’s choice. Nice work, Ma.
Brother Zion isn’t bad afterall but Didi really needs to give Bridget some breathing space. Everyone has a mind of their own and should be allowed to utilize it frequently, not following the dictates of others 24/7.
For the fact that you helped someone doesn’t mean that you own the person or that you will be the one making some decisions for the person.Some people are used to reminding people of their past mistakes,knowing fully well how the person will feel.
When we lead people to Christ and disciple them, we should always remember that all we are doing is providing a vessel for God. Every believer has the Holy Spirit that helps them in decision making.
Very interesting story…. A must read for every mentor
Bro zion gave a very good advise…one is entitled to his or her own view…do what is right and move on with your life…interesting write up ma…
First, the idea of always trying to control people just because they look up to us is very wrong, the superior figure shouldn’t impose their ideas on their followers
That u helped someone during there time of need or save a soul does not mean u should dictate d way they live their life.. U are there to guide them to take the right decisions not push them to it.
There are so many Mummy Didi out there.
Exactly what is happening in this contemporary age, after ur spiritual mummy and daddy helping you to rise again, they actually believe they can control you and your decisions but He#l No!
Although Zion is cool o bt bridget has her own decision too oo…
Independence is very important as an individual there is a point in our lives wen we make our own decisions. But mind you it should b good decisions.
A repented soul needs a good guiding, but it is not good to control or observe every movement of someone you helped converting to born again Christian. Bridget has her own life to live and decision to make which will please her.
Independent thinking, I believe, is very healthy and not a rebellion in any way. However, Autocratic Fellows, like Mummy Didi see it otherwise. It is not good at all for one person to always decide what happens. Everybody is important in different ways. Denying one the right to express himself or herself is dictatorial.
There are areas where such things are encouraged. Such as When Somebody is mentally in-balanced, or still Toddler. But a mentally sound person or persons or Someone who can different between good from bad should have mind of his/her own. Bridget is no kid. Mummy Didi should understand that and stop judging her with her past lifestyle.
Didi has an excessive belief in norms and traditions,Bridget is a grown and independent woman. She has every right to stand firm on what she wants.I love the scripture you used Ma and the quote about exercising free will under God’s guidance!
The story is descriptive and illustrative. it presents suspense and is informing. The use of tense and correctness of language is great. The use of dialogue is active and the pace all synergy to beautify the story. Independent thinking is not a sign of rebellion in a christian.
Independent thinking for christian has areas where it should be encouraged and areas where it should be discouraged. in the case of Bridget and her mother in the Lord, Didi. Independent thinking can be encouraged because mummy Didi is no more guiding her rather she is oppressing her verbally; reminding her of the past and how she saved her even when is not by Mummy Didi’s power. She is becoming domineering and allowing her feelings to guide her rather than God’s direction for partnership. She feels Bridget is a “second-hand product” and does not have choice forgetting that Jesus forgives without remembering our past; We become new and valuable to Him . On the other hand, I thank God for Bridget who came into the light and refused to be stagnant spiritually. She grew in the love of God which she does experience and acknowledges His love. Bridget is not a baby; She refused to be regarded as nothing, knowing how precious she is to Jesus. She is outspoken to suppression and mild to people as she became humbled to speak with the proposed man in respect.
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I all there pastors. Especially the student pastors,They feel that it only what they say that matters..any little thing they will start judging people. Only their word is wright.
Only their will is the will of God. Seeing the rest as unholy, ungodly. Intact anything u do that is not from them to you is evil.. I have such people in my class. It all good though
i feel mummy didi was wromg by not givig bridget a space to expess her opinion and trust her thoughts and opinion to be right.as adults we will only become responsible when we are allowed to take actions for ourselves and even in our mistakes learn from it and get better.
Everyone has the right to air his or her view and there comes a time in a person’s life when you make your own decisions and face what comes out of it whether positive or negative.
Bridget made the right choice by making that decision and Zion should give her, her space.
When people render help to you they begin to feel in control making you feel that your existence depends solely on them. Its true that bridget has made some mistakes in the past, but come on, she had a life then so Didi should not expect her to throw all of that away and adopt your own style. This is Christianity and not some sort of betrothment when you don’t agree to a persons proposal so be it, it shouldn’t be a do or die affair.
i first will say i totally support Bridget action and response to sister Didi . Yes sister Didi no doubt has played an unforgetable role in Bridgets life but that does not justify her action to try to play God over Bridget.Bridget has every right to choose with whom she wish to spend the rest of her life with .its good she had openned up her mouth to say ‘enough was enough ‘who knows she would have been become a prisoner of Didi’s will.
Some persons believe that if they are your Boss or your helper, you have no say, no mind of your own. You are probably a slave or something close, but Bridget proves otherwise to her Spiritual mummy who expects her to take her for everything; no objection for anything that proceeds out of her mouth. Even the Pastor is afraid of her. She must be demigod. Bridget, a supposedly nobody rises against her overbearing influence. We will see how manages the situation in the next episode. Thank You Ma for the Post.
being domineering and too independent doesn’t imply wisdom. Being too spiritual doesn’t imply good relationship with Christ and so don’t feel you know all. Did shouldn’t have even thought of choosing a partner for Bridget, she should have only advised her and then allow her make her choice.
Some people think they owe it to their subordinates to coordinate their lives because they think they can’t make good and rational decisions by themselves. Just imagine the way Didi practically controls bridget because she thinks that as a newly convert that she (Bridget) needs to be guided through but there need to be some limitations to that. She(Didi) even deems it fit to choose a man for her because she thinks she can’t make a right choice on her own. She needs to cut the poor girl some slacks in some areas, all she needs to do is to pray for her continously and follow her up spiritually.
Independently thinking helps a child to choose rightly based on experience, it is not a sign of a rebellious Christian, everything in this life is a choice, Didi was suppose to allow her make whatever decision she wants to either good or bad, but it is Didi’s choice to put her through what ever decision one makes.
i dont like what Didi did. of course she(Bridget) should have a mind of her own. and the part where Didi brought the past just to prove a point is not right. thank God Christ is not a man if not we for don suffer!
Too much of everything is bad. Too much of Didi’s interference is becoming a monitoring spirit oo.
What Bridget did was actually what I would do if in her shoes
Having an independent mind as a Christian is not wrong depending on the circumstance one finds oneself.This is because there are moments one needs older people to counsel and advice them over controversial issues.
So simply because God used you to bring me to Him, you think you could also dictate my life? Never! I can never live in someone else’s shadows. It is propoustous. Dictatorship is never part of christianity. It is not.
Sometimes it’s nice letting people make their decision.that you lead me to Christ does not guarantee you to lead my life for.you can advice but not making decisions for me.
Well, some persons think they can impose anything on others because they helped them in one way or the other just like Didi and Bridget, sometimes some persons need to be listened too, they could settle their differences, although its nice for Bridget to speak up to say what she felt.
Spiritual mentoring doesn’t come with compulsion. Our spiritual leaders are meant to guide and give us good advice concerning life. They are supposed to listen to the decisions we’ve made and help us pick the right one and not force us to do what they want. We all have a mind of our own. Spiritual leaders should guide, not compel.
Mummy Didi was wrong in judging Bridget, the way God saved her and used in saving Bridget doesn’t put her in a place to condemn her or rub the fact that she saved her in her. As sons and daughter the lord has given us freedom to serve him and live our life according to his will.
Oh this is too nice ma, it is a very interesting one. Yes, Didi did a Godly work by picking up the young lady, but in life, we shouldn’t use the good we did for people against them or trying to remind people of their past wronged life. Didi’s main concern suppose to be to guide Bridget in God’s way and make sure that she doesn’t go back to her formal life and not trying to make decisions for her. I love as Bridget was courageous enough to say her mind to the Didi without using insulting words on her. Zion is a nice guy in the sense that, he doesn’t want them to quarrel because of him, maybe with this act, he will win a heart.
Both Didi and Bridget are wrong .Didi shouldn’t have spoken to Bridget in that manner and throwing her past life in her face just to prove a point. Bridget should try to see reasons with Didi atimes to aviod quarrel.
We are all humans and we have minds of our own.
It is not a bad thing to have a mentor and spiritual Guardian. Didi, as a mentor was too domineering which wasn’t right for Bridget.
A mentors advice should not be neglected and should not strictly adhered to.
Nice one.
Didi is a religious fanatic. She shouldn’t think that because she converted Bridget and became her spiritual mother, she can now make all the decisions for Bridget. Also, the way Bridget reacted was very wrong but, I support her reasons for having a mind of her own.
Didi is just taking all the glory to herself, you saved someone doesn’t mean you should control them, guidance doesn’t mean you should detect for them, everyone has the right to air their own opinions and such opinions should be respected and corrected if it maybe bad. Meanwhile, I think Bridget is seeing some interesting traits in Zion.
Bravo! We actually have a caring and wonderful father (God) who doesn’t look at age before blessing us. This story is really inspiring. God can use anyone to bless you high or low.
It is true that Didi picked her up from the gutters and refined her into what she is now but that doesn’t give her the right to make decisions for her and impose them on her at the same time. Sometimes one needs to have a mind of their own
Spiritual leaders should always understand that there is individual differences. Therefore they should not always correct their members to act exactly like them. They should always correct their members in love, in order to get the best out of them.
Its true Didi picked Bridget from the gutters but that does not give her the rights to dictate to Bridget even to the extent of forcing her to marry Zion although a nice man but Didi should also understand that she (Bridget)had a mind of her own and can make her own decisions.
It is good to have a counselor or mentor probably someone superior to u in a particular field that will guide you through to avoid unnecessary mistakes but in marriage matters is not the counselor that will marry a husband or wife for you so you have a say on your own and decide what you want
Both preachers and hearers should emulate Christ. He taught and guided people to the truth without exacting force, Guardians should emulate this and not deviate from what is right while trying to guide others.
Well, I think Bridget did the right thing. But, she should have done it in a more amicable way though, God gave us a free will. Yet, we need his guidance.
It is funny how we Christians win souls, teach them about Jesus, mentor them, help them improve their relationship with God, and still find it difficult to believe that they’ve grown, and can now make mature decisions independent of us. Even though that wasn’t exactly the case with didi, I feel didi is just controlling and domineering, she probably just wanted to be a God figure in Bridget’s life. She feels she knows better and can’t be wrong… And seeing the way she had to remind Bridget of her past showed that she felt like she was perfect. Which is also an attitude we Christians should run away from.
And on Bridget’s side, it was wrong to refuse to give Zion a chance Only because he came through didi. That is not a good enough reason to reject anyone.
Beautiful piece ma’am.
Being a christian does not determine righteousness. Didi is a good example of that. I appreciate her humility and acceptance of her imperfections. I also admire Bridget’s courage.
To draw one closer to God, one has to know what he or she is about to do and ready to carry that person along no matter what and be ready to accept any responsibility.
When we give advice to people we should allow them consider it an not impose it on them even if we feel is for thier benefit
Personally, I hate to be bossed around. I don’t think I would have lasted as long as Bridget did but am glad she tried to put up with it if only for the sake of peace
Didi on the other hand is being suffocating. There is a big difference in caring and wanting to guide someone to the right path and commanding someone, expecting everything the person does to be approved by u. That now is dictatorship which is wrong. As was said, even Jesus allows us to exercise our free will so I don’t see why a mere human would take that from u
Nice piece ma. Being a christian is an individual race and shouldn’t be imposed on anybody because on the last day, everyone will answer for themselves.
As Christians we should bear in mind that we are not doing the dictates of our leaders in church but the dictates of God, its true they are there to guide us but not to control us. If the dictates of our leaders in church is against our will and also against the word of God; it is advisable we don’t adhere to them.
We should listen to Godly counsel,and also depend on our spiritual leaders for advice in order to stand in our faith. But, allowing others to poke nose into our affairs in the name of spiritual guidance and advice is not right. I think Bridget did the right thing by not letting Didi take decisions for her, but she shouldn’t allow the issue to come between her and her mother in the Lord (Didi).
We should be careful with the way we talk ,the words we use,it might be borne out of love but we should bear in mind words carry power and be considerate when we want to scold someone out of love, we shouldn’t do it in a way that might give the other person the impression that we are better or more righteous than them, especially as Christians
Wow!
So, people of the nature of Didi still exist?
I’m not surprised anyway, but in whatever one does, he/she should do it in the name of Jesus who is love.
Our past doesn’t necessarily matters but the future.
Don’t abuse anybody’s right because you rendered them help…. You can never tell what tomorrow shall be like
Just because God used you to help someone get her salvation doesn’t mean you should take over that person’s life, he could have used someone else. And we should learn to be sensitive to people’s opinions and decisions.
I know there are things I can’t have the lever to ask some people about because of the way they’ll butcher me
Spiritual Papa’s and mama’s should create a balance let us be comfortable enough to share our views and in love correct us based on the scriptures.
Hmmmm, the main thing is that all Christians must endeavour to be reasonable, get wisdom from God and be empathetic. So that when you are opportuned to father or mother someone spiritually, you can discharge your duties with wisdom and understanding. And for the child or the spiritual children, despite the fact that you have a mind of your own, you still need guidance so as not to make mistake. And guidance here doesn’t have to be extreme or excessive so as not to be a bondage or a cage for the spiritual child.
Being a believer is not easy and we need the support and gathering of our fellow believers yo help build our faith and keep us from falling astray. Didi behaviour towards Bridget is entirely wrong, just because she helped Brid when no one could doesn’t mean she has the right to what she does. Her decision and choice matters, its her life to live and all Didi can do is to guide and advise her Godly.
Everybody deserves freedom. Even as a mentor, you should allow people under your watch enjoy their breathing space.
I understand Bridget’s anger over Didi’s domineering attitude. I expected Didi to advise Bridget and let her take decisions on her own.
If Didi was God, I wonder what the world would look like.
However, Bridget should have kept her cool while Didi was saying those things to her. In as much as the reasons for her outburst was obvious, She should have still accorded her some respect.
Lol. Seems like Sister Bridget will fall in love with Brother Zion at last.
I see nothing wrong with Bridget having a mind of her own. Didi should try to understand and see reasons with her too. As long as you are an adult and you know just what you are doing, its okay to maintain your grounds in certain issues.
My take on this is that in as much as mummy Didi could be right but is need to consider Bridget no matter her height of spirituality(didi) they are situation where her opinion should be respected.
How God sees things is different from man. This story explains that God can use any body notwithstanding his or her background or circumstances surrounding the person. Bridget never expected the way she spoke to her mummy in the Lord, Didi. God used Bridget as an instrument to convey his message to Didi.
How God sees things is different from man. This story depicts that God can use anybody notwithstanding the background or circumstances surrounding that individual. Bridget never expected she could talk to Didi, her mother in the Lord that way. God used Bridget to convey his message to Didi.
When you help in converting a person it is necessary that you put your eyes on him/her to prevent him/her from going back to the past life but it does not mean that you should make all the decision in the person’s life
That you help someone in there hard time dose not mean you should take control over there life.
Its high time people realised that marriage is not a child’s play and as such , the partners should be allowed to make their choices.. Didi’s attitude is simply an emotional blackmail.. She should let Bridget be already.
Exactly ma. I don’t see independent thinking as a sign of rebellion so long as it doesn’t oppose God’s will or ordinance for us.
Interestingly, as I read, o felt like I read my story. I used to have a father that always wants to know my every move at first, I was comfortable with it but later on, I found out it only made him trust me less in certain things.( Judge me with those things as Didi obviously did Bridget). Trust me it can be really burdensome.
I like the answer Bridget gave. ‘Are you the one that saved me or are you the one keeping me in faith’. Humans should really know how to stop where they should. Thanks.
In as much as Didi led Bridget to God that does not give her the authority to dictate what goes on in her life. Every body deserves freedom, so I don’t blame Bridget for her outburst due to Didi’s domineering nature. She should allow her make her decisions, especially in matters concerning marriage. Her work is to advise her and then let her make her choice.
I don’t think people should impose their beliefs on other people’s belief whether religious beliefs or not. I have really noticed this in today’s Christians.Its totally wrong for Didi to choose for Bridget who she thinks it’s right for her. She should at least respect the mind and choice Bridget made. This is a wonderful work. Keep it up, ma!
Well, I would say that there’s nothing wrong with someone thinking for him or herself. God gave us freewills. But, in making these decisions, we need to make them in the light of the word of God. Also, we need people who will help us and guide us on the path to decision making. They are to guide but not enforce a decision on us.
A nice story depicting what happens in our society. Because some people think of themselves as “Deputy Jesus”, they think they have the right to control everything about someone’s life. What makes me more angry about this case is that Didi even wants to force her into a forever union. That is dangerous. Bridget should better cut such relationship. Even Jesus did not force religion on anyone
I have always wondered why Paul would say when one is young he went where I wanted to but he is old someone would hold his hand and take him places he doesn’t want to go. Very recently I understood it to be mentorship. Maturity in this kingdom does not mean you are able to stand and do every single thing yourself but it is proven when you are able to submit your will to someone else, the holy Spirit and of course godly mentors. But there’s a balance to these things, mentors should be careful to know when they are beginning to force things out on their mentes. The spiritual controls the physical, therefore more than trying to force things out on their mentees settle it in the realm of the spirit, talk to them and leave the holy Spirit to perfect his work. He who started that good work in the life of that mentee is able to bring it to completion.
Interesting and captivating!
I believe that everything has limit. Guiding others does not necessarily mean getting them to always do our wish. It is good to allow people make decisions and solve certain problems themselves, that way, they learn more.
True. God bless you!