“I STILL LOVE TONYE” (4) SHORT STORY
Intro:
Obinna got a shock in the last episode when he discovered that Tonye had been intimate with Boma during her absence. In his annoyance, he kicked her out of his apartment. What happens next between these two in their convoluted relationship? Does Obinna finally end it as he has been threatening?
If you’re new to the series, find time to catch up on the one preceding it, “Will You Marry Me?”, to understand the link between the characters mentioned. And before reading this episode, check out the three earlier ones through Related Posts at the bottom of this one to understand the story better. Have fun!
“I STILL LOVE TONYE” (4)
Obinna leaned on the wall and slid to the floor. He sat with a hunch, his face covered with his hands for some seconds. He felt like he was in a nightmare, trapped under water, unable to breath. He lifted and shook his head, like one coming up for air and shaking free of some of the water he had been submerged in.
What sort of a mess have I got myself into? This girl is not just an unbeliever, but a degenerate and self-conceited one! Granted that I didn’t expect her to be squeaky clean, but a line was drawn after I proposed and SHE ACCEPTED!
Going back to be intimate with another man was unpardonable, in his view. And to think that performing fellatio on a man is fine. The very thought of it made Obinna sick and this time, he couldn’t hold it in. He ran to the loo and retched violently for several minutes.
You see, Obinna was one of those people with traditional views on sex. Thus, oral sex, as far as he was concerned, was a perversion, and to hear someone talk about it like it was no big deal was very shocking to him. He shuddered to think that he had contemplated a union with a girl like Tonye.
Maybe, I am naive, like she says. But I don’t want to have anything to do with people who live like that.
This was a rude awakening, a realisation that he and Tonye were not just different but worlds apart. Their views and values were vastly different. Perhaps, it would have been possible to bridge the gap between them, he thought, if she had admitted she was wrong to share her favours with Boma, but she was not remorseful. Rather, she had attacked and insulted him.
Lord, this is why I want a sister who fears You and lives by the Bible. I gave myself to you and have kept myself pure. But a girl like Tonye does not care for such things. She will probably laugh at me when she learns I’m a virgin. What was it she said? Obinna, grow up! This whole thing is a disaster and I can’t handle it.
He heard a knock on the door and it was Don, coming to see the progress Obinna had made with cooking the rice he hoped to eat before going to watch the day’s English Premier League football matches. A look at Obinna’s face told him there was trouble.
“Wetin don happen again?”
“Please I can’t talk now.”
“Na waa oh! Dis una love na tempest oh! I go just buy bread and mineral for viewing centre.”
Obinna nodded and shut the door.
???
Meanwhile, unknown to,him, Tonye was holding court in her room. Surrounded by some female lodge mates, she was venting her anger on Obinna and his kind.
“You see all these small small boys, steer clear of them, especially the so-called born agains. They can be so narrow-minded and difficult.”
“I tell you,” responded Linda. “Girl, I knew you were wasting your time with Pastor. If you didn’t realise yourself fast, I for rush Boma. As in eh, before you say Jack Robinson, I don carry belle, do wedding.”
“I trust you,” Bimbo responded. “You can confuse men for Africa!”*
“Confuse kwa? I for give am honey wella wella.”
Of the four girls who were with Tonye, it was only one, Titi, who did not receive the news of Tonye and Obinna’s quarrel with relish. Less than thirty minutes ago, Tonye would have told Linda she was welcome to have Boma, now she wasn’t so sure and she told the girls so.
“I wonder what gave Obinna the feeling that he could control me.”
“Wait oh,” Titi began, “did you not agree to marry the guy and announce it to others?”
The ladies descended on her like vultures on carrion.
“And so what?” Linda asked. “Has he paid her bride price? Even if …. Someone who cannot even afford an engagement ring wants to tell a woman what to do with her body.”
“The thing tire me oh!” Chioma exclaimed.
“It’s people like you that will end up marrying church rats and they will be maltreating you anyhow,” Bimbo added.
“I reject it. It’s not my portion,” Titi retorted.
“No matter what you say,” she continued, “I think Pastor has every right to be angry. Tonye, put yourself in his shoes and swear that you will not react if your fiancée did such a thing.”
Tonye did not respond but she was hit by Titi’s words.
“Titi, it’s time for you to go,” Bimbo declared. “E be like say you don join these born again people.”
“I wan go chop sef, but I’m warning you, Tonye. If you miss Pastor, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“Get away from here, stupid girl,” Bimbo charged.
“Are you cursing her?” Chioma asked. “Back to sender! Tonye, you no go curse am back?”
“I don dey go,” Titi said. “Miserable comforters, continue your ministry.” Then she ran to escape the shoe Linda hurled at her.
“Mtcheew! Some people just dey buy other people case dey break their head for am,” Linda hissed. Then she noticed how quiet Tonye was and asked if she was okay.
“I’m just tired. The effect of my journey from Port Harcourt is beginning to tell.”
The ladies expressed their understanding and left her to get some rest but rest was very far away from Tonye because her mind was in a turmoil.
-To be continued-
Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2018
*“You can confuse men for Africa!” is slang for “You can confuse men very much!”
Chatting time:
While Tonye was castigating Obinna, majority of the girls in her room were siding with her, except Titi. And my questions are:
Would you discuss a disagreement you have with your fiancé/fiancée or boyfriend/girlfriend with other people?
If you were there, on which side will you be: the majority or Titi’s?
Do you agree with Tonye that born-again Christians are narrow-minded and difficult?
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Yes,i might discuss our problems but with certain people not just anyone because I believe that Tonye had the wrong people around her and that also influenced her decision.
And if l was there, I would have supported Titi all the way, Tonye is wrong, no one has the right to play with people’s feelings.
For me, most born again Christians can be narrow-minded, some are not. If you get to meet one that is and you cannot deal with him, please leave him, but if it’s the other way round, then carry on..
I feel that some people who call Christians narrow-minded are just uncomfortable with their strictness and refusal to compromise their principles. But that is not to say that there are not some people, believers and unbelievers alike, who are actually narrow-minded.
On the contrary, born again Christians are not narrow minded and difficult. It’s not like they don’t not know the things about sexual intimacy, besides most of them were unbelievers before they got converted, but they’ve seen its dangers and decided to steer clear.
Very true! Keep shining the light, Mark!
I can, but with a trusted friend or a close pastor. Matters involving rellationship should not be cuddled up in the heart. The lord has created us in such a way that when we face certain challenges or even at our happiest moment, we have the eagernes to tell someone about it. Concerning Tonye, having realized they are of two different worlds, the best thing for him to do is to turn to the lord and ask for help to overcome whatever obsession he has with her.
Prayer is certainly important at this point. Bless you, Agnes!
i think titi is right, especially in the question she askes tonye that if she, tonye was in obinna’s shoes, wouldnt she react. this is where the golden rule of do to others as you would like them to do to you appliies. i dont think tonye did the right thing by inviting every female to her room. obinna couldnt even tell one person and here was tonye, telling everyone.it shows she isnt trustworthy at all
Or just plain immature! The irony of it, she had just told Obinna to grow up!
Linda and her followers are a good example of bad friemds. Doing nothing but giving bad advice to others. Tonye knows she’s in the wrong and titi’s words hit her faster than a bullet. I can’t wait to find out what happens next
It’s bad to carry your personal issues out like that because if care is not taken, you will end up messing up your life, especially if someone like Titi is not among those people, they will end up causing more problems than providing the solutions u r seeking. It’s good to know the right person to turn to when necessary. I don’t blame Obinna for his action. If he didn’t stand against it, Tonye will continue doing it thinking that it’s a normal thing to do since she had a boyfriend before accepting his proposal.
Yes, some may consider it normal, but it’s not right for a Christian. Bless you!
“Maybe, I am naive, like she says. But I don’t want to have anything to do with people who live like that” This line should serve as a didactic to most youth. don’t give up that right thing which you believe just because of some peoples shallow mind towards it.
Very important! Thanks a lot and remain blessed, Chukwumonso.
I prefer telling my closest friend about my issues especially relationship problems because I feel more relieved when I talk to someone about it
I will not support Tonye’s reaction because it’s very obvious she was wrong, In real life I hate supporting wrong, as a good friend I will encourage her to go back to Obinna
Christians are not narrow minded and difficult, they only seem to be when an unbeliever is relating with them cause they don’t know the doctrines
Lovely! God bless you real good, Chinyere!
It is good to discuss your relationship problems with an elderly person, not with your friends that have no experience BC some will deceive you. Titi is right and she’s a true friend to associate with.
Yes, Titi really spoke some wise words to Tonye despite the opposition from the other girls. Happy weekend, Faith!
Never compromise your character just to please people who don’t share in your faith. nice one ma.
Glad you gleaned something from this episode. You are lifted in Jesus’ name.
According to my comprehension, the reason behind obinna’s sudden proposal was not love at first. Obinna’s was blinded by tonye’s beauty.
You need to read “Will You Marry Me?” to better understand this series. You are blessed!
Yes I can talk about such private palavers with very few persons that I trust. And I also definitely believe that some Christians are very much narrow minded while most of them know what’s up. I would have very much supported titi in her argument because finding a guy like obinna in this century is close to impossible.
Really enjoyed this story full of suspense and lessons.
Obinna actually tried for Tonye notwithstanding her lapses, but Tonye lost a diamond while collecting stones.
She is not even ready to accept her fault which is bad.
Also the type of friends we listen to might make or mar our lives.
We women prefer lust to love in the name of MONEY which was pointed out in this story.
Thank you, ma, for this wonderful story.
Could Tonye be having second thoughts? I think I like where this is going
Titi’s side, all that glitters is not gold.
Born again Christians can’t be shallow-minded, some are informed; using a few to generalise isn’t appropriate.
I believe its better to discuss your problems with people who are experienced especially in relationship matters because they are in better position to give you a candid advice titi is a true friend
Thank God that tonye still have a good reasonable friend in her company like titi who told her the bitter truth by telling her that if she was in obinna’s shoes, she would react the same way.
I count it wise that you discuss your troubles with a trusted person who is capable of giving a saving advice. It is very important we don’t compromise our moral standards because some people’s little or no understanding about it. It is better we discuss our relationship issues with some not all elderly people, because not all elderly people can give us good advice in all kinds of problems. This short story have really strengthened my stand on not compromising your moral and ethical stand because of what people would say.
I don’t think that sex is unavoidable in relationships because a relationship is all about love,trust,communication,loyalty,compromise,honesty and happiness.Therefore having sex in a relationship doesn’t secure the relationship between two people,it doesn’t guarantee happiness in the relationship,and it also doesn’t mean that the person genuinely loves you.
I don’t agree that born again Christians are narrow-minded,I just think that the new generation do not know much about God and do not show any interest in knowing God either because the only thing in their minds these days is money and things of the world. Therefore some now view the tenets of God and people that uphold them as narrow-minded. But they are just doing things the right way.
I wouldn’t say tonye was being totally immature, she was rather taking the wrong relationship advice from her friends. Her reaction when titi said she should put herself in obinna’s shoes says it all.
Tonye is just very lucky to have a guy like Obinna. honestly, its not every man that can condone such attitude of hers.
Titi is very correct . Born agains are not narrow minded, they simply know what is wrong and right. Sex is sex, be it oral or coitus . For the fact that she accepted obinnas proposal such a thing is not expected of her. If she has such veiws before marriage what about after. Such a marriage would have no trust. If she had accepted what she did was unacceptable and apologized instead of defending herself ,obinna may have forgiven her and things would have been properly discussed .
As for me, a love life must have its roots in the what 1corinth 13 says, any other thing is null and void
Even the Bible says so ,”do not be unevenly yoked” ,though love is a good thing, people should consider the tenets of morality and bear in mind that God must be the centre of their relationships.
Yes,I’ll discuss with my very close and trusted friends about some problems in my relationship ..tonye is very wrong on what she did and if she was a born again Christian like obinna maybe she wouldn’t have fallen for that temptation for all that glitters is not gold ….and titi was the only true friend tonye has that could actually tell her the truth .
So many have held unto these words “a problem shared is a problem solved” I for one feel your relationship is private or rather personal thus whatever happens in secret should be kept as a secret and subsequently tackled. However, in a situation where one feels compelled to let out some steam or vent out anger one can do that with a third party that is trust worthy. I took cognisance of these words from the story:
“Be careful who you listen to when your relationship is troubled”-anonymous.
For you to listen simply means you’ve told someone a thing or two thus supporting the claim that your ‘matter’ could be shared only with a trustworthy fella.
Take note! The quote is from me. Any quote I use without crediting it to another or clearly writing anonymous/source unknown was composed by me. I often craft quotes to adorn the graphics I prepare for my posts.
Serves Tonye right kind of. She lost a diamond while collecting stones. I also think you should discuss your relationship problems with those who are experienced than buying ideas given to you by just anybody
I can so relate to this story.. it’s not alien to us that “girls” of nowadays no longer fancy the so called “born again” guys rather they prefer the rich and so called “swag boys” I appreciate the author for bringing this story to the front burner.
true born again christians are not narrow minded and difficult, they only seem to be, when an unbeliever is relating with them cause most of them do not know the doctrines. And it is also essential not to compromise your belief for anyone who don’t share in your faith.
Yes I can discuss my relationship with a friend but not all my friends bcos not all are happy for you. And she is so proud to say that she only made Boma cum ‘ instead of her to have a rethink on how to settle with Obinna ‘ she was busy castigating him. Well am happy Obinna reacted that way cos he had over pampered her and she’s now taking him for granted.
Yeah, I can discuss my relationship with my friends after all a problem shared is a problem half solved but in discussing that with them I Will be patient with those who supply and be careful with whose advice I buy.
I can’t discuss relationship matters with my friends, people that are in the same level with me ,but I can with my mom or someone higher than me in knowledge and experience or someone I regard as my mentor, but it’s also wise not to invite third party in some cases. If I were there,I would be on Titi’s side because it’s not everyone would buy /condole Tonye’s act, you might call OBINNA a naive and shallow person, that is his own orientation..it’s not everyone that has that kind of mindset.. I disagree with Tonye that born_again Christians are narrow_minded and difficult.
I can’t discuss relationship matters with my friends, people that are in the same level with me, but I can with my mom or someone higher than me in knowledge and experience or someone I regard as my mentor, but it’s also wise not to invite third party in some cases. If I were there, I would be on Titi’s side because it’s not everyone would buy/condole Tonye’s act, you might call OBINNA a naive and shallow person, that is his own orientation…. It’s not everyone that has that kind of mindset. I disagree with Tonye that born_again Christians are narrow minded and difficult.
I will definitely be on Titi’s side, tonye Is just being carried away by peer group influence and material things also. As for obinna he should have exercised more patience.
We don’t have to tell people everything about our private life, even though the decisions of love is sometimes hard to make, have a second thought to know if you can handle it yourself. But after trying to no avail, try telling someone whom you think is of good help and be wise enough to choose and make the right decisions yourself.
Although tonye did the wrong thing by leaving obinna for another richer better is seen as very very wrong, but leysl us not forget that we are humans and we make our own choices. It’s true that obinna probably know pain with this little encounter however what is life without pain. If you ask me tonye was just doing what was in her best interest and whether that decision destroys her or not treat completely on her alone.
Yes because in some situations, you just don’t know what to do. So, you turn to your friends and family for a shoulder to lean on..however there are certain things that your friends just don’t need to know
Despite what might be expected, Christians are not naive ,they just want to live in accordance with biblical principles
Yes,i may talk about our issues yet with specific individuals not simply anybody since I trust that Tonye had the wrong individuals around her and that additionally affected her choice. Furthermore, if l was there, I would have upheld Titi the distance, Tonye isn’t right, nobody has the right toplay with the peoples emotions
I just like the way Titi stood for the right thing which she believed in. On the other hand, Tonye who told Obinna to grow up is actually the one who needs to grow up; she needs more friends like Titi who’d help her make right decisions. By the way, I think Obinna should just quit the relatiinship because she isn’t a believer like him (2 Corinthians 4:16)
Oh yes.. I would discuss about a disagreement I had with my partner with others. But not just with people that calls themselves friends, most of them are wolves in sheep clothing wanting to destroy your relationship, I would rather chose to discuss with my pastors, elders in church and my parents
On the first, yes I can share my relationship issues with people. But definitely not just anyone. It must people whom I trust and whom I’ve seen that they’ve handled their own life well. Secondly, I don’t support Tonye on any count. Her actions were cruel and inconsiderate to Obinna. But I’m not surprised, she was surrounded with people of no character. On the third, I strongly do not agree and will never believe that Christians are naive. They are not. They just don’t go about doing things just because they know how to.
Titi is totally right! Tonye have to realize the fact that what she did was wrong, only then will she be able to ask for forgiveness instead of giving justifications for what she did.
If am having any issue in my relationship I don’t see any need discussing it with my friends, rather I will meet a friend who have had experience on issues like that and she’s still doing well in her relationship to advice me on what to do.
Firstly, it’s most advisable to be mark out reseanable and responsible friends (better still co-married or seriously committed) when in a serious relationship to counsel you on vital issues as they might have knowledgeable answers and similar experiences. Tonye was being uncautious of the company she kept but in most cases third partiedare not always advisable because it could lead to many uncertainties and ruin a relationship. One should be careful of company one keeps and advice one’s get in a relationship. Envy lurks at every corner when you find a good thing. Follow what is right and ask for Divine relevation to avoid wasting your time in something that wouldn’t be worth it. Beware of anyone who smiles in the face. Again envy and quiet malice can poison even the best of hearts. If possible no unreasonable third parties
Well it appears to me that Tonye is feeling the guilt of her wrongs. Instead of apolozing, you are trying to nag. However, I feel for Obinna sincere feelings and blame him for the ridiculous mistake he made. Nevertheless its not too late for Obinna to look for another one, if he likes. Life is a teacher to those who wish to learn.
Tonye and Obinna are just two diffrent people from different worlds and this brings in the fact that both have the chance to sustain their relationship only if they can adjust.To me, no man is narrow-minded when it comes to intimacy, it is just a matter of choice or one’s beliefs.
Discussing your relationship life with your friends is not something acceptable. People may stab you at the back.
That is the problem with young girls of nowadays, they tend to go for the so called rugged guy’s,feeling that they are the ones that know the happenings forgetting that a God fearing young man should be the first a woman wanting to get married should pray for.
Most people are not aware that their behaviour towards others tend to break down people for life. Not only behaviour but also words. It was very sad how Tonye let people influence her and how she treated Obinna.
Be careful who you meet when you have relationship issues. Not everyone is experienced when it comes to relationships so it’s advisable to meet the experienced ones.
Most people are not aware that their behaviour towards others tend to break down people for life. Not only behaviour but also words. It was very sad how Tonye let people influence her and how she treated Obinna
It’s not always good to tell everyone about your personal issues because if care is not taken, you will end up messing up your life. Not everyone is experienced when it comes to relationships so it’s advisable to meet the experienced ones.
Nice piece ma. God bless you
Am on Titi’s side 100%. I really do hope this guy knows what he is getting into.
Concerning the issue of discussing ones relationship problems or disagreements, I don’t see anything bad with that, though, where the problem lies is with whom you discuss it with. But, there is just this time you’ll want to talk to someone not for advice but just the person to merely listen.
I can’t imagine what will happen next. Well done Ma, thanks for this amazing story.
Hmm, this is interesting, I wonder why someone will have group of friends that can’t add positive value to their life, like Tonye, atleast one haven’t gone that nut..
In a relationship , it’s not always good to claim right, just make peace and apologies once u are wrong. Secondly, try to know the kind of people you tell about your relationship because they may not be happy with you about it.
I think the couple should know each other standard ,i.e,likes and dislikes because a relationship where the two are in oposite end, it’s always a touch and go.
Also,I appreciate the role that Titi played,she didn’t join the bandwagon rather spoke the thruth.we should always speak the thruth irrespective of the outcome.
Please people should learn to keep whatever that happens in their relationship a secret and if you must talk tell your good friends only. People like Tonye gets me angry; leaking taps
Tonye had better had a rethink and discover the truth in what Titi said…Money is not everything… However, this is a matter of life partner, so I think the heart should take the lead here.
Discussing the issues she had with her fiancee (Obinna )is a very childish thing to do esp with the kind of friends she has. She should have just sat down and thought things through instead of opening her mouth. I love Titi’s stand in the discussion. One sentence from her and Tonye went into thinking mood. Lol
I never believed that relationship among people of different beliefs can work because their values are just so vast from the other. If it will work, it will require a lot of tolerance. It is good to have friends like Titi who would tell you the truth especially when needed.
Wow, am as shocked as obinna. Tonye shouldn’t have said the things she said to obinna. Your passed sexual exploits shouldn’t be something to brag about to your spouse. But ma, do you believe that couples should talk about their past experiences ?
Honestly i pity obinna but i think he is the one that got himself into the problem he is facing before proposing to a girl i think u should know some things about her before asking her for marriage. discussing relationship issues with our friends is not bad but we should know the type of people we share our problems with and someone like titi will be a good person to share our problems because they will always tell us nothing but the truth and possible solution to our problem.
Thank you aunty for the wonderful story
Obinna has finally come to realize that Tonye might not be such a good match for him afterall. Took him long enough. Tonye should not even think of going back to him o. She’s such a self conceited human being and I don’t think she deserves such a nice young man like Obinna. ?
We should always mind the type of friends we are being surrounded with, not everybody we see we open our mouth to .
Tonye’s decisions is being influenced by the company she keeps,at least there is titi who pointed out the truth .
Honestly i pity obinna but i think he is the one that got himself into the problem he is facing before proposing to a girl i think u should know some things about her before asking her for marriage. discussing relationship issues with our friends is not bad but we should know the type of people we share our problems with and someone like titi will be a good person to share our problems because they will always tell us nothing but the truth and possible solution to our problem.
Thank you aunty for the wonderful story.
Not every relationship issues are to be shared with some friends, because they can have a wrong perceptive and give a wrong countenance . Obinna has every right to be angry with Tonye, God has worked through him and has kept himself to be a virgin and marrying a Virgin should be one of things to look out for In a lady as being a Christian. Thank you ma
Tonye friends are not even helping matter,, SMH can’t wait to see the end of this story?
The reason why Obinna is still suffering is holding back to the wrong person. He should serve as a lesson to us, before making anyone our priority we should be convinced beyond reasonable doubt. But am happy he is now seeing the light. Sharing our relationship problem is not a bad idea, but who and who you share it with matters the most. Too bad for Tonye, she shares her problem with friends that add to injury instead of healing it with the exception of Titi.
If at all you want to discuss a disagreement you had with your boyfriend or fiance, you should do it with the right kind of people. People like Linda and Bimbo are the worst sort of people to discuss such things with. Imagine the kind of advise they gave to Tonye. No decent girl should be intimate with a guy when she has accepted the purpose of another no matter what happens. Maybe like Titi said, Tonye would regret it of she leaves Obinna Let’s read on.
It is not really safe to discuss relationship problems with people that will end up leading one astray or not giving the required advice and we should also avoid people who cannot look you in the face and tell you when you are not doing the right thing. Tonye was touched by Titi’s words as regards her attitude towards Obinna and I just hope those words will make her realise her actions towards Obinna and make amends.
Interesting story.
This tonye and obinna’s love looks one sided. She has even made bimbo and linda to brainwash and back her up in the wrong she did. I cant wait to get to the end of the story to see how it will finally end.
I don’t feel safe discusing my relationship issue with some of my friends because they might even make the matter worse especially those who probably don’t understand what true love is.
Friends like Bimbo,Chioma and Linda are the kind of friends that can destroy or make your relationship confusing and unhappy. I want to read more!
I love what Titi said and thank God that It began to tell on Tonye.
Please we should be careful of the friends we share our problems with, though it is said that a problem shared is well solved, but it doesn’t mean that we should be foolish to share with everyone. For the fact that she got into a fight with Obinna doesn’t mean she should begin to run her mouth against him especially when all her friends are present I believe some things are better kept secret.
I don’t blame her too because she was angry. When we are angry or depressed, are the worst times to take decisions.
We really need truthful friends around us not surrounding our lives with sycophants who only tell us what they know that we want to hear, let see how the next series rows out
I love what Titi said and thank God that I began to tell on Tonye
Please we should be careful of the friends we share our problems with, though it is said that a problem shared is well solved, but it doesn’t mean that we should be foolish to share with everyone. For the fact that she got into a fight with Obinna doesn’t mean she should begin to run her mouth against him especially when all her friends are present I believe some things are better kept secret.
I don’t blame her too because she was angry. When we are angry or depressed, are the worst times to take decisions.
Birds of a feather, they say, flock together.
Tonye and her friends are just the same kind of people. She shouldn’t be discussing her relationship matters with such people with shallow mindsets. I pray she learns her lessons soon before it’s too late.
Titi is a light that shines in darkness… I’m happy for that single striking statement she made and I pray Tonye listens to her and do away with the stupid advice from her other friends.
Christian are not Narrow-minded and difficult, they just have a different mindset and mentality from others. The characters in the story just views christians as such because they have a contrasting opinion and mentality which does not align with theirs as unbelievers.
I pray Tonye gets back to her senses and begins to face reality
From this wonderful story, l think young boys and girls who are into relationship wanting to get marry should know themselves very well i.e their likes and dislikes which will help both of them to move along well and i think that is what tonye does understand thinking that obinna is just like everyman she will misbehave and get away free without any precaution and that is why tonye instead of been remorseful to obinna for what she did to him instead she claim to be right about it even when she is wrong and to justify her wrong doing she seek her friends which she knows will be in support to her wrong doing, which i think is totally wrong instead of any problem concerning relationship are to be discuss with an experienced elderly person and not friend who has no experience but thanks to titi who stood her ground among her friends to tell her the truth. The truth is bitter but it still the truth and can never change.
I could discuss the issue with a friend that has a mature mindset but not a group of people who live for the satisfaction of the flesh. When you are surrounded with people like that you can bet that your sense of morality would begin to drain and you would begin to condone anything as long as your peers say it isn’t a bad thing. We thank God for people like Titi who are there to call you back to your senses and reality.
For me I feel that there are things you do not discuss with ‘friends’ it has destroyed a lot of relationships. I also think she was telling her friends because she just wanted to feel justified for her actions and as expected her so called friends gave her exactly the reaction she wanted. Titi was right, I will definitely agree with her if I was there. I don’t think Christian brothers are narrow minded, even Obinna that she was referring to wasn’t being narrow minded, he was right in calling her out on her actions. My advice to everyone is, be mindful of the company you keep.
I wonder how some people reason some times, how can living beings support this kind of evil Tonye did? I thank God for Titi, if not, these girls would have succeeded in turning everything up side down, while the innocent young man(Obinna), is there hurting.
Tonye, Tonye don’t miss this angel in human form God sent to you because of pride and you not wanting to live right. Peer pressure is bad, what do these ladies know about life? do not be deceived.
I feel Tonye needs to amend her ways and also rethink the kind of company she keeps.
Wonderful story ma
Yonye should grow up , u don’t have to live like the world to be in it. Just decide to stand out.
Something’s are said to be ‘private’ because they are supposed to be private, discussing would have been alright if she talked to one person and not making public notice of it.
Titi is a kind of friend everyone should lookout for, a rare specie at that and the best.
God bless you ma
Yes, I can discuss my disagreement with my friend but not necessarily a group of friends.
Everyone actually needs a Titi in their lives though, a person who would stand up to your face and tell you when you are going through the wrong rail.
The words Titi said to Tonye were pure facts. There was no way Tonye wouldn’t be angry if it was Obinna who had a fling with another woman.
Obinna is actually a good man, I hope Tonye does not let a good man slip from her hands like that. They are rare.
“Find people you vibe with.?
Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should be well rounded and supportive.”
Tonye’s friends (with the exception of Titi), are not unconnected with why she’s behaving the way she does. We all should endeavor to keep the likes of Titi as friends, if we must be positive.
Quality over Quantity. ALWAYS!
Kind regards, Dr. Edith Ohaja.
I don’t think I would like to discuss it with anyone. I would prefer to keep it private, discuss it with my partner and then settle the issue ourselves. I don’t think involving other people will be a good idea because good and bad opinions might come from different directions thereby making the situation worse. Its good to share problems for easy solutions but then its not all problems that one gets to share with others. I think I will side with Titi because she made a lot of sense unlike others who wanted Tonye to leave the pastor and follow the happening Guy. Tonye was not just satisfied with what she had and again, she was listening to the wrong people because being a born again is not enough reason to decide not to be with Obinna. Born again Christians are not narrow-minded and difficult. Before they became Born again, they experienced a lot of things. So when situations similar to the things they know arises they tend to take it serious knowing that they have been there before.
From the way this story is going am really scared about obinna and Tonye relationship. I must say that bad friends can be worst than a night mare any one can have, if Tonye is wise enough then she has to know the decision to make. It all lies on her now.
“It may sound funny but my mum is my go-to-person whenever I need a relationship advice. She doesn’t sugarcoat words while dishing out advice to me. But lately, I discovered one or two friends I can discuss my relationship with “. What will even make me discuss such thing to a group of girls?
Tonye is not really mature enough as she claimed. She doesn’t strike me like one who would accept corrections with two wide arms. She needs to think about what Titi asked her and put herself in Obinna’s shoes.
Guys like Obinna are hard to come by. Tonye should better grab this opportunity or let Obinna look for his match.
Lest I forget, what happened to Obinna’s jollof nah? ?
Everybody should have someone like titi in there life’s. We should be mindful of whom we discuss our problems with not the one’s that will discuss our private life outside and make fun out of it. Be careful of people you call your friends. Friends that will motivate you and never mislead you.
This scene is a typical example of “friends can make or Mar you”. Tonye has no self control and isn’t conscious of her words. Those friends of hers are only there to use her life for entertainment “make we just hear gist!”. They wouldn’t even advice their younger ones that way.
I think tonye did something right by discussing with her friend, but I think in the matter like this, pastors and priest or any other man of God will be preferable for the proper guidance and again prayer is the next option
What her lodge mate Titi told her is just the truth. Tonye should claim down, go and beg Obinna and feel sorry for what happened.is the love Obinna has for her that is making her think that he is a narrow minded and difficult. When she will see difficult person she will see wieeeeeee
Evil communication corrupts good morals.
I agree with Titi. And I don’t believe that Christians are narrow minded. Most people hate to hear the truth because its not in line with their worldly ways.
in my view , there are some thingsyou dont discuss with everyone you see around ,infact this kind of things z meant for just the two ears involved .tonye was not right spreading the news
secondly, what is wrong is wrong , there is no narrow mindedness in that
berig born again does not make u narrow minded , its just makes your cuationness to the truth alive
and if i was there , i would have stood with Titi …
the girl was wrong , there is no need of bending words
“You see all these small small boys, steer clear of them, especially the so-called born agains. They can be so narrow-minded and difficult.”
This attack May have seemed painful at first but being narrow minded helps outmost times to stay focus on God!
If a girl said this to me I would laugh.
Yes i can discuss issues with my fiancée, with a friend but not any friend but it must be friend I trust. I accept Tonye’s assertion that born again Christians is narrow-minded. In fact, I am comfortable with that because I don’t want to be broadly-minded to the world’s affairs; I want to be Narrowly-minded to the word of God. Bible says “Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life” Proverbs 4:23. It saves me the pangs that those who do get.
My name is Ugwu Chizoba Janet
relationship is between two people not a public affair and requires mature minded people. I liked what titi said to her friend , the truth always hurt and the truth made her to chase her away as a Christian we are light and darkness cant stand light .
Telling people about the issues you have with your fiance/fiancee at times can be a problem. The persons you are telling in the name of helping you out by giving you different solutions they think is right to solve the problems, they might end up misaddressing you and the outcome will be done on you. In my opinion, i think you should pray to God about it before coming together to sort it out because some problem come as a result of misunderstanding.
It isn’t right to discuss with friends over an issue or disagreement you had with your fiancée or fiance(or in a relationship). Bringing third parties into your relationship will surely bring it to doom due to bad advice they are likely to give(like the case of Tonye discussing the quarrel between her and obinna with her friends. I side with Titi, if Tonye missed marrying Obinna, she would regret it. Obinna and Christians are neither narraw minded nor difficult,they only try to do the right thing. Anyway, I learnt a new word today: ‘fellatio’. I love this story!
Relationship between people with different belief is difficult to stand. And from what is happening, even if Obinna and Tonye continue with the relationship, they may crash along the lines because they are mutually incompatible.
And Tonye is making the worst mistake by discussing her relationship with her friends. A third party is very dangerous in relationship, and the out come is always disastrous.
Influence! Influence! Influence! Now it’s clear why Tonye keeps getting it wrong. It’s a matter of concern knowing the people we surround ourselves with. Who advices us as well is very important because many times our actions employ the recommendations of others. For Tonye, she had the wrong people. It doesn’t matter if your friends are Christians. The question is, “what is their level of understanding to life’s issues?” Thanks for sharing this with us Ma.
It’s a good thing that obinna realized just how different he is from tonye. I honestly hope that he can change her.
Hmmmm…I can actually discuss my relationship problems with people, but with the people I know that are more mature than I am or even with the people that are more experienced. I can also discuss it with my spiritual father’s in my church because I believe that a problem shared is half solved. But, it is quite unfortunate that Yonye met the wrong people. And oh yes, I would have supported Titi if I was there because what Tonye did is very wrong. I will not actually blame Obinna for his reaction, because normally no man would sot down or keep calm and watch you toil with their emotions just like that.
many relationships are dead today .because of bad friends. Young men and women of nowadays should always know the right peer group to associate with because most of this so called friends are here to ruin lives. This is one of the major problem Obinna was facing.
Sharing your relationship problem is not actually a bad thing but not knowing the right person to share it to is where the problem is. Look at the people tonye is sharing her problem with, they are part of the people adding to her problem,I still stand with titi
How can Tonye discuss her relationship with low-minded people like that. Its probably because they all think alike. God bless people like Titi that help bring people’s senses back when it seems like their sense is about to leave them. I don’t think Tonye deserves Obinna.
I like the phrase “Miserable comforters”. Many good relationships today are over due to the influence of bad friends. I’m happy Titi opened her eyes to see it from Obinna’s perspective. I just hope she realizes her wrong doings sooner than later.
A good friend will always tell you the truth not minding if it’s hurts or not, thank God for Titi who in the midst of others was able to tell Tonye the truth
Tonye definitely doesn’t have the right people around her to advise her properly on the issue. Titi is the only one whinseend to know what to say. The is why we need good moral support in our lives from the right company. People who will tell us what is right as it is and what is wrong when it is.
It is right to discuss relationship problem or issues with a friend that you trust, because in this Tonye’s case, her friends were making the matter worse, instead of them telling Tonye she’s at fault, they are trying to side her, except Titi who was real , she was the only one telling Tonye the truth. We should be mindful of who we share own relationship issue with because some of our friends who are easily jealous will use that opportunity to put pepper into fire.
Here’s a situation that everyone in a relationship is occasionally faced with, bad advice from friends about how to handle your relationship.
The truth is, they were simply telling her what she wanted to hear. These same girls would do worse if they were in Obinna’s shoes… But they won’t tell Tonye that, oh no, they won’t!
I like telling my closest friend about my issues It helps me think my actions or reactions through and come up with solutions with the help of said friend. I do not support Tonye’s reaction, it’s very obvious she was wrong. She should simply go back to Obinna and be remorseful, he is not mean or narrow minded.
Yes,i may talk about our issues yet with specific individuals not simply anybody since I trust that Tonye had the wrong individuals around her and that additionally affected her choice. Furthermore, if l was there, I would have upheld Titi the distance, Tonye isn’t right, nobody has the right toplay with the peoples emotions
We must be careful who we listen to, some regrets and shattered relationships are as a result of bad advice from bad friends
seriously speaking (no offence)but most time the way the so called born again Christian behave i wonder if they will even make heaven,some of them carry the matter of Jesus as if they studied him as a course ,they judge others so fast ,they act as if they know everything about him.sometimes you can’t even approach them.
Obinna actually tried for Tonye notwithstanding her lapses, but Tonye lost a diamond while collecting stones. She is not even ready to accept her fault which is bad. Also the type of friends we listen to might make or mar our lives. We women prefer lust to love in the name of MONEY which was pointed out in this story. Thank you, ma, for this wonderful story.
Friends like Titi are rare to find. She gave a good advice to Tonye but Tonye was already brain washed by her other friends who were siding her and could not even lead her to the right path which made her more confused. I pray to have a friend like Titi who will advice me in times of difficulty.
It is much better when I tell my closest friend about my issues as I feel more relieved when I talk to someone I confide in about what the case may be.Tonye’s was extremely wrong, I do not support wrongdoings in reality but then as a good friend I will encourage her to go back to Obinna… We should also be careful when it comes to what we say… The tongue is a very powerful tool
Discussing relationship problems and ideas is not actually a bad thing but then we should be mindful of people whom we tell things to… sometimes people only want to hear gist, they are not really concerned with your well-being and others. Tonye’s action was very wrong, I believe there’s more good in seeking forgiveness
Discussing relationship matters with friends is good, but still depends on the kind of friends. Tonye is discussing hers with those that tell her what she wants to hear, but could not listen to Titi.Moreover, Tonye is wrong and the earlier she recognizes it, the better. On the other hand, Obinna is not narrow-minded. He fears God and doesn’t want to lose him please people.
Relationship issues should be discussed by one’s trusted friends
Not people that will always support you or tell you exactly what you want to hear
Tonye friends are not good friends except Titi who is reasonable
U know sometimes it’s right to share ur problems and even gist with your friends, but the question is will they surport u even when they know u are wrong?, will they causion you when you take wrong decisions? I’m glad titi didn’t see things like the others. And as for obinna it’s obvious that his feelings for tonye is genuie.
Titi is right. If Tony was Obinna she would call it quits.
Often times when you are fed up,it’s better you talk to someone that could be of help,because when you get people’s opinion, you analyse it and learn from it.
Though friends might decieve you,but there are always the good ones. Titi asked a good question that left Tonye in deep thought.
Tonye knows the truth but maybe she just wants to be blind to it. I’m glad Titi’s words hit her because when things turn sour, those other friends supporting her would be the first to rub it in her face.
We all know our friends and their behaviors. A good one and a bad one. But sharing your relationship problems with your good friends is nice because sometimes your feelings will cloud your judgment as you can’t make the right decisions but with their help like Titi’s, you will be able to reach a good decision without regret.
It is not bad for someone to discuss his or her relationship with friends but we should be carefully about those we discuss it with. This exactly what happened to tonye, among all her friends it was only titi that told her the plan truth.
To be sincere this quote” be careful who you listen to when your relationship is troubled”caught me it summarised everything.To add to that I don’t know why we say it is traditional way of perception about sex.I strongly believe that sex outside marriage is sin.No matter how it is put.
Choosing to talk about relationship problems with friends is actually really healthy. As long as you’re willing to listen, they can offer honest opinions and potential solutions.
One shouldn’t keep relationship problems a secret from friends especially trustworthy friends. Put their advice into consideration and don’t follow all of them blindly.
Talking helps sometimes but not everybody that you share your problem with. Some are out to kill and i think the kind of people that Tonye was talking to are not the right people. Yes if i happen to have been there, i would have supported Titi sometimes we should try and put ourselves the shoe of those we offended and weigh if there reaction is wrong. Tonye be careful you are heading for doom.
Linda and co are a set of bad friends,and it will spell doom for Tonye if she keeps mingling with such negative minds.I don’t think Tonye’s sudden quietness is as a result of her journey;rather,i think what Titi told her is beginning to sink in.
Tonye knows she is wrong about the whole thing but she’s playing ignorant and listening to her misleading friends, she knew that Titi’s words of wisdom hit her so hard for her to think twice and make a new move.
We really need to know who our friends are,some will push you to enter fire but mind you they are not falling with you, even after knowing her actions were wrong they were still encouraging her but thank God for Titi who set her straight.
It’s bad to carry your personal issues out or tell everyone about it. you will end up messing up your life, if someone like Titi is not among those people, they will end up causing more problems than finding the solutions you’re seeking. It’s good to know the right person to turn to when necessary. I don’t blame Obinna for his action. If he didn’t stand against it, Tonye will continue doing it thinking that it’s a normal thing to do since she had a boyfriend else where before accepting to marry Obinna.
She! To me I discuss my relationship matters with some of my friends who I feel I can confide in, but to an extent.When it comes to Tonye’s case, I think she lacks good associates, except Titi who was telling her the right part to follow. But when Tonye will realise what Titi is telling her is when she finally breaks up with Obinna and then sees that one of her friends who was wrongly advising her, has taken over Obinna. However, Obinna is not narrow minded like Tonye said.It all depends on individual understanding pertaining some certain issues. Also, whether believer or unbeliever we still know the good, the bad and the ugly.
I take back what I said about the two lovers coming back together. Tonye seems not to be remorseful at all, just the way she is discussing what happened between Obinna and her is very insulting and can even discourage one from dating self.
matured and neutral friends should be chosen when discussing such matter. Obinna is not narrow-minded in any way. He is just conscious of his God.
Tonye and obinna are just two different worlds that really need to come together and settle thier differences and smh, tonye’s friends are not even good girls and titi is a different one who understands how it feels for her to lose someone like obinna.
From the foregoing, it’s obvious, Obinna is a refined guy whose moral rectitude is top notch. He obviously doesn’t want to soil his faith in the teaching of his faith. It’s a pity he is going through such emotional torture and trauma.
Why bad things happen to good people still remains the question.