“CLEVER” WAY OF GETTING BREAKFAST! (NONFICTION)
Our people are really showing their “ingenuity” as Buharinomics* is hitting most people hard. Lol!
I wanted okpa* for breakfast and there was this sixtyish guy (artisan sort) before me at the stand. He announced he would have two hundred Naira (N200) worth. The lady seller put the hot wraps in a black cellophane bag but before she could tie it, he demanded that they be sliced. She complied.
The next stage in the transaction had been taken for granted. After giving specifications and collecting someone’s product, you pay for it, right? But this daddy* didn’t do anything close. Rather, he began to give the okpa woman what sounded to everyone around like an unnecessary and ill-timed geography lesson.
The man was describing a construction site or block moulding company or whatever (it wasn’t clear what) somewhere in the vicinity where the woman should come and get her money in the event he didn’t return shortly.
“What are you doing? She doesn’t know the place you’re pointing at. Why are you insisting on this useless description?” asked a man who had decoded the daddy’s game. Others pitched in because that spot is where daily paid workers wait to be hired.
“You didn’t tell her you had no money and you made her slice the okpa so she can’t take it back to sell,” another accused.
“Mind your business,” the old man scolded.
“There’s nothing we don’t see here,” the lady explained in response to my shocked expression.
She told the man to go and that is likely N200 gone as that daddy didn’t look like he planned to be found later. He will probably be congratulating himself on the “clever” way he got breakfast. Wonder what he’ll be planning for lunch.
Or maybe I’m being uncharitable. He may have planned to come and pay once he got something from his day’s work but the window for selling okpa there is three hours tops and I’m guessing he knows that. I imagine that the woman gives such a concession to the regulars there sometimes but for a total stranger to grab the privilege without prior discussion smacks of mischief.
Anyway, for his sake, I hope he doesn’t intend to make a career out of this ’cause in some other places, he may not be let off so easily.
*Buharinomics refers to the economic policies of the present Nigerian government under President Muhammadu Buhari.
*Okpa is the Igbo name for a type of proteinous food made with cowpea flour. It is popular in Nsukka and has been embraced in other parts of Igboland because of its relative cheapness and sustaining power.
*daddy – In our culture, we call older men daddy.
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