SAY “NO” TO STRESS-INDUCING COMPARISON

Everything in life is relative. It depends on what you’re comparing it with. Read a book by this American guy some years back. I think it was “Peaceful Living in a Stressful World” by Ronald Hutchcraft. Somewhere in it, he told a story of one time when he visited Japan. He said for the three weeks he was over there, he was a tall man. His height: 5ft 9in. or an inch more. I’m sure you catch the joke.

Well, I had the opposite experience a while back. Some precious people came over for a visit and we decided to take some pix on my narrow porch. I had no problem with the daddy* on my right but the brother on my left was standing like a palm tree. Wasn’t gonna let that happen.

“Stoop, man, you gotta stoop,” I said.

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He did and we had a fair shot, not one in which two of us will look like midgets beside him. Lol!* But seriously, you know how the mind works: whenever I look at the pix in the future (if he had stood straight), something might be telling me, “Nne, you no try at all for your height oh!”*

Many of us won’t do that and we leave the door open for stress-inducing comparison somewhere down the road. It might be subtle but it takes something away from us. For example, people go out of their way sometimes to check out, through various media, how the affluent live. They gawk at mansions, cars, wardrobes and delicacies that make them feel so awful, like they aren’t even living at all.

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So what are you comparing yourself with? Is it someone or something that makes you feel worthless and unaccomplished? You must have heard the quip about the half-full and half-empty glass. It’s time to look for other points of comparison, change your perspective, so that you realise you’ve got something too.

I’m not asking you to stop striving to be better or to have more feathers in your cap, but you can do it from a place of rest where you acknowledge what you already have and thank God for it.

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Have yourself a beautiful weekend and remain blessed!

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*daddy – In my part of the world, we call older men daddy.
*Lol – doesn’t imply I’m making fun of midgets but I’m laughing at how I bridged the gap in our heights.
*”Nne, you no try at all for your height oh!” is Pidgin English for “Miss, you didn’t come up at all in your height oh” which translates to “You are very short.” Although we shouldn’t, many of us, including yours truly, worry unduly about our height, weight, etc.
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I am a university lecturer. I teach Mass Communication, mostly writing courses like Feature and Interpretative Writing, Magazine Article Writing and News Writing, and let’s just say I’ve been doing this for a long time. As you have probably guessed, I am a born-again Christian.
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53 thoughts on “SAY “NO” TO STRESS-INDUCING COMPARISON

  1. Comparing ourselves or situations with that of others is very wrong. The truth remains that you might be better physically and emotionally than that person you are comparing yourself. And being rich does not guarantee happiness.

  2. i think why most people compare themselves to others is because they haven’t or didn’t know God’s purpose for them.
    no matter ur weight or height, there is something for u… think of AKI ND PAWPAW( CHINEDU & OSITA)

    • Very true, Walter! We need to get closer to God and find out what He has for us so that we can focus on it and avoid the distraction of watching others and feeling bad. Bless you!

  3. Being contented with the little you have is the key to good living. i hold it upto myself to appreciate wholesomely what i have. come to think of it, am blessed and endowed with God’s love. that alone is sufficient for me to be happy. my case isnt the worst cos am covered with the love of Christ. peace out!

  4. If you want everything, you won’t have a true personality and for starters, it will lead you to other bad stuff such as coveting, perverting, envy, greed and all their brothers. So it is important that we carry ourselves for who we are, knowing that what we don’t have, we can live without.

  5. I think social media is responsible for a lot of comparison and feeling bad about on’es own life. Naturally, most people are only going to post the good things on Facebook, etc., so it gives the false impression that their lives are great and ours not-so-much. We need to take everything we see and hear with a grain of salt. Everyone has their problems, and there will always be those with more than we have, and some with way less. We need to make the most of what we have, as others have said, and maybe not spend so much time on social media, comparing our lives with what we think others’ lives are like.

    • I really love your comment. Could I post it on my page on Favebook, citing you and referring to your blog? (Like this: Gloria J. Pinkser of everydaylifespirituality.com on Comparison) You are soooo blessed!

  6. sometimes its hard not to compare yourself with others but once my thoughts strays I remind myself that I have a Father who cares.

  7. In as much as we are living in a world where the social media has taken the better part of our lives and people tend to judge themselves and their lives based on what they see on social media, we should always remember that God is satisfaction and we should learn to practice contentment. Nice one!

  8. One of my favourite preachers, Joel Osteen once said that comparison is an enemy to self-esteem. This post is necessary especially in an age where many of us compare our lives to the highlights of others they post on social media.

  9. Oldie but goldie. It happens to everyone!!! once in a while we check up on other people, sometimes even our mates just to see if they are doing better than us or vice versa. No comparisons please. Life is not a competition. Grow at your God-given pace. Inspiring!!! very very, especially in this social media age where everyone wants to look good on the internet.

  10. I always fall victim of comparing myself to people,i think it’s inevitable. But what is more important is knowing and learning how to be contented with what we have and who we are.

  11. Well said. Many a times, we compare ourselves to others based on material things, affluence, or even fame on social media which may be harmful to our mental and psychological well being. Let’s always learn to appreciate what we have even as we strive for greatness. Thank you for sharing and remain blessed!

  12. This is indeed a good piece. We shouldn’t look down on ourselves, destiny can’t be the same. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to others as a result of the same or the money one has. I once had that behavior of looking down on myself, especially when I was in primary school but as time went by I discovered that I have what those people didn’t possess. We should discover what we are good at and strive hard to excel.

  13. Once in a while we compare our lives to others while other people do so constantly. Comparison can have adverse effects on our mental health like depression. We should remember that we are all unique with different destines and different life journeys.

  14. Lol. It’s brilliant what you did to close the gap aunty. Life’s too short to keep on worrying about not having ‘everything ‘ other people have. Why compare yourself to someone when you have so many other things that person may not? Why put yourself through the stress?. Well I say NO to stress inducing comparison o. I’m happy with what God has given me and will always be grateful for it. I love myself just the way I am?. Nice post aunty

  15. Hahahaha
    This is very funny and educative.
    I personally don’t allow someone who is really taller than me to take picture while standing,lol.
    On the other hand,I know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made cos my creator has done me well.

  16. LOL! What a very funny post! Stress inducing comparison indeed! There is really no need to compare ourselves with other people because this leads to unhealthy. competition and jealousy. Rather, we should be grateful for all the things God has given us.

  17. I am looking forward to the day I will read your post and learn no lesson. I have been into such comparison and it has not been doing me good. We should only appreciate what we have and work smart for more instead of troubling our minds with some sort of God-forsaken comparison.

  18. Everything has Its own time and I don’t think there’s time for creeping into another person’s lane and when you spend much time there you wonder why your life suck lol. Concentrate on the energy you give for it is only on those terms that it shall be reciprocated. Remain blessed mummy! Shared ?

  19. Real truth ma, also to add to it, I will like to say also that, while we are dying to be someone else, there’s someone out there dying to be like us. We should stop trying to make ourselves into another person, rather we should better ourselves instead.

  20. Well said, I think we should not be carries away by what we see in social media because most of this individual your comparing yourself with like a fake life rather we should work hard to be that unique individual God has destined us to be and most people that want be like them end up fraustrated

  21. Bingo!! I always tell myself that I am the best there is though I seem to be of the average height. Generally speaking, we tend to compare ourselves to others at times which isn’t healthy per se. Only those who are swimming in the pool of low self esteem do this on a regular and leads to depression, however we should know we didn’t choose our form but we can choose to find that beauty in our form. C’mon, God gave us what’s the best!!! Thank you.

  22. In life, I have come to understand that we trouble ourselves with comparison while others are busy hoping to be like us. Life is just funny. Me, I can’t compare myself to anybody because am just Uniquely different beyond comparison.

  23. Comparing yourself with anybody or thing is wrong especially when the comparison makes you to feel less of yourself. If you are to compare yourself with anybody or anything, it should be to motivate you to become a better person and not to become depressed or feel unaccomplished. Las Las, you have an average height ma’am and the fellow with the intimidating height is just one out of five people with such height. Remain blessed.

  24. I used to be guilty of this once. Sometimes I would compare myself to others, wondering what it felt like to be in their shoes. This only resulted in self-hate. But when I started loving myself, I found out I was enough in the sight of my maker.

  25. It is better to have a role model than comparing yourself with others. Thanks for the motivating writeups of yours

  26. No doubt, senseless comparison to people and situations induces stress. Every person at one point or the other have been compared unfavourably. But we always need to see how bright our individual light shines through our differences before comparing ourselves to others. All fingers are not equal.

  27. Most times it could be OK to compare oneself with another if it will improve you positively, but then most of the times, we compare everything about us with what others have so much so that we we get stress induced. You’re the best of yourself and so be proud of who you are at all times.

  28. Sometimes it seems difficult not to compare our self with others, but the most effective way of dealing with it, is to focus on Gods plan for our life and avoid the distraction of watching others and feeling bad.

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