“WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO?” (SHORT STORY)
Chinedu averted his eyes from Nonye. She was gazing at him with so much love and it was making his mission so much harder to execute. He had been wondering what her reaction would be when he broke it to her. Would she be able to take it or would she dissolve into tears? Now he knew the answer and he wasn’t sure he had the nerve to go through with it.
She was such a nice girl, so unsophisticated and straightforward. Brought up in a strict home and church, she knew nothing about male-female relationships. She was quite reserved and steered clear of the brothers in church. When she asked to join the choir, he, as choir director, consented and took her under his wing. He gave her special attention to encourage her to stay and improve her singing talent in the competitive atmosphere there.
She slowly opened up to him and could actually hold a lengthy conversation with a guy who wasn’t her brother for the first time. But he also noticed that it seemed she was falling for him. She hung on his every word and would look at him all dopey-eyed.
“Good for her,” he thought. “She is a grown woman and it’s time her emotions were stirred instead of living in a cocoon.”
He didn’t mind being the one who helped her shed her toga of naïveté and imbibe some social skills. So rather than cool her ardour, he ignited it the more by taking her places, like youth camps and concerts, to experience things she had never been privileged to before.
He began to teach her to play the piano, got her interested in literature, movies, secular and contemporary Christian music to help broaden her view of life. She flowered under his attention and he advised her on how to dress, not immodestly, but to at least show that she had a really good figure. He gradually introduced her to jewelry, weave ons and makeup also.
All this was possible because she had gained admission to the university shortly after joining the choir and her parents knew they’d be fighting a losing battle if they expected her to remain the way she was. They were even thankful she “was with” Brother Chinedu. Better him than all the ill-mannered youths out there. Chinedu was God-fearing and he would never take advantage of her, they believed. And he didn’t. Theirs was a wholesome relationship.
Meanwhile, all the girls who had trained their sights on Chinedu in the church stopped pestering him. He was so relieved about this as the altercations between girls who wanted to stamp him as theirs were becoming embarrassing. He, therefore, made no attempt to correct anyone who assumed he was planning a future with Nonye. He was a friendly, jovial sort and everyone loved him but since he was spending much time with Nonye, they respected that and waited for the “good news” announcement from the pulpit.
Then sixteen months after they met, Chinedu, who had been looking for a better job got one with a company in Lagos. About the same time, a suitor (not the first one) came for Nonye’s hand in marriage. The pastor as usual invited her, informed her of the man’s proposal and asked her to pray. She nodded respectfully and left.
But as usual she had no intention of doing any such thing. Her heart was with Chinedu and any day now ….
When the pastor waited and did not get a response from her as usual, he began to figure out the way Nonye’s mind was working and summoned Chinedu. Never one to waste time on rigmaroles, he shot a question that made Chinedu to jump right after he was seated in his office.
“Now that you’ve got a better job, how soon will it be before you officially ask for Nonye’s hand in marriage?”
“Daddy!* Nonye! Marriage! I don’t understand.”
“My question is not complicated. How soon? That means, ‘When?'”
“Daddy, I still don’t understand. Am I not the one to tell you I want to marry and who I want to marry?”
“So you think I jumped the gun?”
“Yes, Sir,” Chinedu replied, adjusting himself in his seat and nodding vigorously.
“Ok, then, let me rephrase. What are your plans for Nonye?”
“My plans? Daddy, her parents are taking care of her. Is there a problem, I mean, moneywise?”
“Look, Chinedu, I have no time for this. If you want to marry Nonye, settle it now. If not, go straight from my office to her and lay your cards on the table. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir!” Chinedu responded diffidently and shuffled out of the office.
There was no way he was going to go to Nonye directly as the pastor ordered. He needed to process his thoughts and compose himself. He avoided his house since his mum’s prying eyes would detect that something was wrong and went to see a brother in the church, Clement.
After exchanging pleasantries, Chinedu began to seek advice.
“Bro Clement, I’m just coming from Pastor’s office. I don’t understand but he’s trying to force me to marry Sister Nonye.”
“Force you! How? … Which Nonye are we talking anout? Your own Nonye? That one is in the bag already, abi dey wan introduce polygamy for church?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Everybody knows that Nonye is your wife. You no see as brothers leave her alone and sisters no dey disturb you again?”
“That is no reason for me to marry her. No one deserves unnecessary harassment but Nonye is just my sister. She’s my daughter in the Lord.”
“Your daughter … Ol’ boy, no make me laugh! Is it because she’s your daughter that she has been refusing suitors? Daughter ko, daughter ni!”
“What are you talking about?”
“So you don’t know? Deacon Okike told me she has turned down three suitors in the last four months. Because she’s your daughter!” Clement poked Chinedu’s ribs with that last bit and began to laugh.
Chinedu then realised that he was in the soup.
“What have I got myself into?” he cried.
He had labelled Nonye “Mission Accomplished” in his mind some months back and had been seeking means of gently extricating himself from her as he didn’t feel quite as strongly for her as she did for him. Besides, he had no intention of getting married in the next five years because he wanted to further his education. He tried to turn her attention away from him by introducing her to other brothers but she didn’t get it. She was respectful to the brothers but did not respond to overtures of friendship from any of them.
It was, therefore, a prayer answered when he got the Lagos job. He had planned to leave with promises of coming home often which he wouldn’t keep in the hopes that she would eventually marry someone else. He justified himself when his heart condemned him by reminding it that he never proposed to Nonye, he never discussed a future with her.
“So why the subterfuge?” his spirit asked him.
“I just don’t want us to unravel any delicate matter. We didn’t talk about it before and it would be better not to do so now,” was his uneasy reply.
“Everything must be done decently and in order.”
That one unsettled him. He didn’t know if it was his spirit or the Holy Spirit but it was an advice he was not prepared to heed. Until the pastor called him.
And here he was with Nonye, ten minutes into his visit, and still lost for words. In the end, he asked if she was hungry and took her to a nearby restaurant. They ate and chatted about recent movies they had watched, books they had read, stuff like that. Nothing was said about marriage, suitors or the future.
Nonye went home feeling that she and Chinedu were still on. Chinedu, on his part, went home to perform the hardest task of his life: to write a lengthy missive to Nonye explaining the goals of his relationship with her, the need for her to relate with other people and choose a spouse if she had an acceptable suitor, and appealing for her forgiveness if he had hurt her by the way he carried on.
But in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to write that letter. He just didn’t know how to start or proceed. Instead, he fled to Lagos the next morning as he earlier planned. He hoped that Nonye and everyone else in the church will in time forget the whole episode and not think so badly of him.
-The end-
Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2016
+++++++
Daddy* – Christians often call their pastors Daddy.
“abi dey wan introduce polygamy for church?” is
Pidgin English for “or do they want to introduce polygamy in the church?”
“You no see as brothers leave her alone and sisters no dey disturb you again?” means “You didn’t see how brothers left her alone and sisters do not disturb you again?” in Pidgin English.
“Ol’ boy, no make me laugh!” is the equivalent of “Dude, don’t make me to laugh!” in Pidgin English
“Daughter ko, daughter ni!” means “Daughter indeed!” The italicised are Yoruba words.
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Interesting piece Aunty.This really does happen a lot to young girls and they may end up having emotional problems due to this kinda experience.
People need to be honest to those they are relating with, esp believers. Thank you, Kelechi and remain blessed!
One thing I have learnt that love cannot be forced, if it is one- sided, it can never grow.
Chinedu on his own part couldn’t have the mind to confront cause he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, but to me, he is hurting her by hiding the truth from her and leaving her hanging..
Wow! This is a wonderful piece. It is fraught with suspense. The storyline is uniquely engrossing; figurative expressions therein are thought provoking and reveal/teach a lot of wisdom. Chinedu becomes ensnared in self-inflicted problem. His innocent affection or relationship with Nonye is misinterpreted by many including his friend, Clement. His kindness and Closeness with Nonye make people to reach a conclusion, including his pastor, and precipitate Nonye’s falling in love with him. I am of the opinion that Chinedu ought to have limited his closeness with Nonye since he knew he did not intend marrying her. Although he did not or they did not plan to marry, but there is a level a relationship or friendship will get to, even without making any comment, marriage will be expected. Action, they say, speaks louder than voice. Nonye’s refusal to marry any of her numerous suitors underpins the feeling that she had given her heart to Chinedu. I would have loved the story to continue because Chinedu was yet to solve his problem when he left for lagos. The story is completely educating and entertaining! I honestly enjoyed it!! Thank you, Ma.
Thank you too, Chinagorom! I aporeciate your insights. And yes, there is room for the story to continue but I don’t know when. You are blessed!
Ah this one pass me o…that was how my mum’s younger sister almost tricked me into marrying a girl I never felt anything for, abi person no go get “platonic” relationships again?
I get school daughters o. Hope they learn from this!
Ehn, and hope you learn to make clear to them where they stand with you. Bless you, Peters!
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Wow!!! The story was picturesque. I had a mental picture of our contemporary church and the ‘brother-sister’ relationship. Ladies, don’t take those chinedus seriously until they clearly state their intention towards you. I love the use of verbs that I will call, dramatic. I also love the us e of colourful adjectives. Trust me, there are many chinedus out there. Sometimes they get beclouded and tangled up with religion that they fail to realise what they actually want. Relationships should be clearly defined. Brother and sister in the lord should be clearly defined too.. Lovely story ma’am.
Thanks and thanks, Oga Blaize! You know, there are some Chinedus that don’t know exactly what they want, so they keep every available sister hanging, just in case they eventually decide it will be that one. But in this case, the brother knows what he wants but hasn’t the courage to speak his mind. Bitter truth is better than sweet lie any day. The latter causes much damage.
What a wonderful, interesting and suspense-filled piece! This often happens in our environment and just as you said Ma’am, it is pertinent people be truthful and open to persons they relate. If Chinedu had written the letter, he would have put Nonye into a state of emotional quagmire; that would perhaps affect her for life.
Hello big man! Warming up to leave the lion’s den? Thank you for your contribution. On my part, I think that not writing the letter is a worse evil. I just want us to see that when we create a mess, even unintentionally, we should have the courage to clear it, not run away. But the latter is what we often do because it’s the easy option but it doesn’t solve the problem.
This is soooo real. Honestly ma”am it has to continue as soon as possible please I got so carried away by the lines of the story that I dn’t know It has ended Infact I got angry because I expected more, great suspense I must confess and a good job. Godbless you ma’am more insight and more grace.
Thank,you so,much, Blessing! No vex oh! Lol! I trust that you and your family are fine.
A revealing piece indeed,this happens often. Ma I hope you continue it. More grace!!!
Thank you, Chiamaka! The story bears further telling but I can’t say when I’ll be able to do it.
It seems like this could happen to me, though not the church type but “class mate thing like that “
Just communicate your feelings at the appropriate time, Onyekachi. Don’t lead any girl on. You are blessed!
If I find my self in that situation where chinedu is, I will consider marring her, cos she is homely and God fearing cos that 75% of what is obtainable in marriage. Meanwhile the young lady made a very big mistake by closing the door on other suitors considering the fact that she had no discusion with chinedu about geting married or being together in future, so its not good to assume things.Aunty nice piece,I love that
Yes, assumptions like that lead to broken hearts.
Such an interesting story…
Thank you, Cynthia, and stay blessed!
Thanks ma, I learnt a lot from this story
I am glad. Praise God!
The story is touching and interesting and such Edus behave like that and are never serious. I just hope he has not had any holy defilement to the innocent girl.
No, there’s no defilement involved, biko! Shalom!
My opinion, the only wrong Nedu committed was not correcting his mess! We can’t blame him for wanting to help d poor lady come out of her shadow. N he did that with d best intentions! Nonye, on d other hand was just too quick to conclude things. She should v asked questions the moment she started feeling for chinedu. N chinedu perhaps should v bn more observant!!! I know in dis part of d world, it’s very rare n quite unbelieving to see a guy who is just nice to a lady without having a back up plan…Buh if we just look well enough, we’ll see der r nice guys, pple that just want to help others.
Yes, there are guys who are not out for trade by barter. Bless you, Chinyere!
I love this piece, I personally have experienced it once, I have once been a Nonye but at a point the boy had to be totally honest with me, although he was two faced, yes I couldn’t stand the truth, it was as if hell was empty and all the devils where there, Truth is a pill everyone wants but too difficult to swallow, I did swallow d truth, chinedu would have made her understand besides it’s better to say the truth and make someone cry than making them smile in the dark
Thank you, Amarachi! It’s better to hurt now than believe in a lie. You’re highly blessed in Jesus’ name.
Aunty.. This is very interesting.
Praise God! And bless you, Princess!
what an interesting piece
Thank you, Luke, and stay blessed!
Hmm…Poor Nonye!
She will survive, I think!
I can’t help but apportion some level of blame to Nonye’s parents for her delinma. Bringing up a child in this very manner may not yield the required result. Chinedu will take the bulk of the blame for not defining the relationship from the onset.
Kudos Aunty Edith. Keep it up!
Thank you, Jerry! And you’re right. The cloistered style of parenting often boomerangs. Keep going higher in life, man, in Jesus’ name.
Really a nice story. I was held to the very last fulstop. Aunty Edith, daalu! But I didn’t like the way Chinedu couldn’t bring himself to tell Nonye that he cannot marry her.
And Nonye too. I really pity her. I expected her to have gotten a little bit of boldness to talk about her stand with Chinedu. From the way I see her, she is ready to wait for as long as heaven knows for Chinedu.
The Bible says the righteous is as bold as a lion, but some believers … they’re yet to get there. May God help us in Jesus’ name. You’re highly blessed, Ebuka!
Very interesting story,well this kind of situation plays out every now and then in our churches that is why we are always adviced to define our relationship
It’s very important to do that. It’s unfair to lead someone on like the brother did in the story.
Hmmm, i pray things turn out well for both chinnedu and Nonye. But chinedu should have communicated and define his relationship with her at an early stage. This is same mistake many youths make, especially in churches.
You’re right. Lesson for the youths!
i think the decision he made by travelling without prior notice was best for both parties…am sure she’ll get over him in no time
It doesn’t always work like that. First love can hurt real bad when it falls apart.
This is a wonderful piece, filled with suspense as usual and the storyline is unique. it’s a picture of what happens very often among youths in churches. well, i believe that an early definition of the relationship and setting some boundaries would have solved the problem and i always advise against leading people on. if you don’t feel anything strong enough to last for someone, the best thing is to tell the person so you don;t end up hurting them.
You’re right, my dear! Many people don’t often think through what they are doing. They just allow themselves to drift wherever the waves carry them and that’s not good enough.
A very interesting piece, most guys do this unconsciously in today’s world but instead of being straightforwardl with the girl they end up causing a big issue thereby hurting the girl’s feeling hugely or causing damage to her heart forever
Wisdom is really needed in relationships but many young people are not aware.
To be sincere with you, I don’t like the way this story ended. It sounds more like an article.
It is an article, Justin, a SHORT story. Lol!
Wonderful story which happens in real life
Bless you, Gift!
My God seriously, I think he should just open up and tell the young lady. what if as he left for lagos she kept waiting for him and didn’t forget about him? hmmmmmm complicated.
people ought to be honest especially to those they are related to
Nonye made a big mistake by taking Chinedu’s good intentions to mean another thing without asking questions. I believe this shld be a grt lesson to the youths… Ask questions n for things to be made clear before jumping into conclusions… Nice and Interesting story, ma’am.
Yeah, DJ, and Chinedu also goofed in letting many opportunities to define the relationship slip away. To top it off, he ran away when the heat was on. Not every relationship needs to be defined but when you’re getting too close and people are making assumptions, then it’s time to think and spell things out. You’re lifted, my dear, in Jesus’ name.
Most times it’s embarrassing but better for young people to define their relationship… She was thinking they were going to end up together and he saw her as a daughter in the Lord and nothing more… Towards the end I thought he was going to have a rethink and maybe marry her at the end like Nollywood always presents it… Guess I was wrong…
Awww..that was not so good of Chinedu as he ran away without saying anything to Nonye..poor Nonye will be totally confused and heart broken when shel finds out that her long anticipated suitor has left her. This should be a great lesson to ladies. Learn to be observant.
The use of chinedu I actually found really funny . nice one aunty edith
I know your mind will rush to THAT Chinedu. Next time, I’ll use Ononso. Lol!
This is awful, I feel so bad for her. I hope she finds the strength to move on.
Sometimes it’s always good to tell people the truth no matter how difficult. Actions like this can really hurt people. May God help us
That was so cruel of Brother Chinedu. We should try to spell out to people what kind of relationship we want from them, instead of raising and giving them false hopes. I hope she gets the message on time and forgets him.
He was decent enough to help purely, but we should never just assume. And be truthful, not knowing hurts. Thanks ma
And to make matters worse, he ran away leaving the girl hanging. The mistakes of youth… #smh
This story is targeted towards the youths.We should not assume that every relationship with the opposite sex is meant to lead to marriage,especially in occasions where we feel we completely love the individual involved,the other party may not feel same way.Most persons come into our lives to make us better as well as prepare us for the one it is meant to be.Do not misunderstand every friendly gesture for a marriage proposal. This is a great work ma,more power to your elbow.
Ma, the story is very touching, the young man has partially committed himself because it is not only the girl that is involved, both her parents, pastor and their youth members. It is not good to start what you cannot finish, neither did he choose the best option by running away.
poor girl! if she confessed her feelings he would have told her his motive, but I totally disagree with a guy being so close with an obviously naïve girl without stating his intentions precisely. she is bound to get the wrong idea and mistake the guy’s kindness for… . I’m sure most first-year girls in the university suffer experiences similar to this.
We should always keep friends who will influence our lives positively so that we can define our rrelationship. This is an interesting story
Wow! this can be found really in the practical world where persons will have feelings towards someone and also persons can be convinced by their relative to marry someone who they do not really want to.
Girls should learn not to be emotionally attached to a guy because if anything should happen, the girl will suffer most. On the other hand, Chinedu should have told her from day one the type of relationship he wanted from her….Nice one ma
Ma, this story depicts the behavious of some boys this days and mind you, girls are also guilty of this act. I mean leading someone on when you have no iota of Eros love for the person. The only way to resolve this is by having a conversation with the other party asking him/her the kind of feelings they have for you, to know whether their feelings tallies with theirs
Interesting. this kind of situation happens a lot to young girls especially in the church and it’s appalling. i don’t support what bro Chinedu did. he got himself in the mess, he should get himself out and not run from it.
This is a similar case. There is a need to take time to define ur relationship with opposite sex. Female heart is flexible and that’s y when u care too much on them without a clear definition of ur motive, then it becomes a problem.
This story is very funny. Anyways I don’t blame Nonye, love comes unexpectedly.
Whoa!!!! The story is very interesting and funny at the same time, Oga Chinedu should waste no time in telling her the fact, this is really an eye opener to us ladies, we should be able to define our relationship…
Chinedu should have noticed how Nonye felt about him considering their closeness and her blooming mindset. His properly composed message and apology would have gone a long way in calming her down and leaving room for possible communication instead of fleeing and letting her blame herself for putting all her eggs in one basket. Running alway has never been the best option anyway, problems come and should be tackled head-on.
It is a daughter zone type of relationship, hahah. Well i think it is normal for people to read different meanings into cordial relationships especially male-female relationships, but then Obinna should have noticed that she was all over and about him. guys sha, Obinna fled for his dear life but this is perfectly normal though, some guys just dont have the mind to go through all of this Obinna went through.
The guy’s name is Chinedu.
How can she even assume chinedu has plans for her when he hasn’t said anything,I must comend chinedu because many guys in his situation would have taken advantage of her.beautiful story ma
An interesting piece ma, but Bro Chinedu shouldn’t have gotten awful close to Nonye that he stirred up love in her. He should have avoided a conservative relationship with her and be liberal in relating with other sisters equally then Nonye won’t think she is the only one. Ladies get attracted to bros or men who give them special attention and preferential treatment saying this by experience especially with choir directors and choristers. Bro Chinedu was a coward, afterwards he should have straightened out things before he left for Lagos.
This is a hand full. He should have mustered the courage to tell her. It’s better she felt the pain once than to go through lingering pain and confusion by his eloping. I feel for Nonye. The story is captivating and the suspense is deep.
There should have been a boundary from the start of the friendship. I do the start of the friendship. I do not really blame Nonye for thinking the wrong things, its new to her but Nedu owed it to her to explain the whole issue and tell her about his job in Lagos since they were friends. If i were in Nedu’s shoes, i would have done the same, who knows?
Nice story, its best to define our relationship with people, especially opposite sex, so as to avoid unnecessary heart break
There’s nothing innocent between a man and a woman, even as friends one party might fall for the other, so i dont blame Nonye but Nedu that has no courage, to make his stand pronounced, knowing fully well that the iroko has fallen flat. thou it all started in a Christian relationship.
it’s always good for one to define his or her relationship so as to know their stand. some5imes we might feel for someone without knowing the other person is not feeling the same that is why it is always good to ask questions and know where we stand in a person’s life.
I’m one of those people that strongly believe that in your relationship with other especially the opposite sex, lay your intentions flat on the table. Nedu carried her along, so intensely that she saw nothing in rejecting more than two potential suitors! That meant that Nonye was pretty certain that they were an item. That’s not fair to her at all. I hope people learn from this. Honestly
This is wow! Great story ma. The story captivates me and the creative style employed in the story is great. The story is simple, clarity and correctness all seen in the story. The use of dialogue and slangs is well presented in the story. there is suspense that is thrilling. The story is entertaining as well as educative for all singles. Nonye imagination with a lovely brother should be a lesson for singles who mistake friendship for courtship. ladies and men should never base love relationship on assumption. Nedu was seeing the other part while Nonye was seeing the other part; singles have to be careful in order not to end up hurting each other or keeping future aggression between one another.
Awwn…poor Nonye. I’m just trying to imagine how heartbroken she’ll be when she learns that her ‘beloved’ wasn’t interested in her all along…?. It really hurts when you love someone and your love isn’t reciprocated. Nice one ma. ?
In this part of the world, kind treatments don’t come all the time, so when one starts to get one, the interpretation is often extreme. But on the other hand it would be wise to now your stand in a relationship other than assumptions.
This is why open, honest communication between people is so crucial so that intentions are clear.
Eya….you don’t have to be in a relationship without communication…it matters a lot at least to know you both intentions for been in dat relationship… If it what suits you,you go on but if it doesn’t suit you… Pls don’t venture into it to avoid stories that touch
Wow, I really enjoyed this story. It painted a mental picture of our comptemporary society as a whole. I think Chike was wrong not to clear the air on how he felt with Nonye.
But why is he running away. There is no need for that. If he doesn’t love her, he would’ve found and gotten the courage to tell her he does no intend marrying her but each time he look at her he can’t do it. That is to say he love her. Its better to just keep quite watch and pray than saying something he might regret later. Let’s us be careful and let a situation handle itself.
One of the greatest life tip i have ;learnt so far is to stop expecting. Expectation kills faster, people should learn to stop raising the hope of others even though i can’;t tell if Chinedu did it intentionally but i really feel for Nonye, I hope she moves on. Nice one ma’am
This story is really touching.In a bid to help some people land themselves into trouble.
Chinedu, I think it is wise for you to come back and make your innocence and intentions known to Nonye.
Wow! So thrilling. This is really what young girls get themselves into in this 21st century.
Actions really do speak louder than words. Chinedu, in his quest to help Nonye emerge from her shell of shyness, unwittingly creates a girl dependent on him for emotional, social and intellectual satisfaction. Nonye unconsciously latches on to the first person to pay her attention. Chinedu, finding himself in self-inflicted turmoil, decides to take the coward’s way out.
This happens to way too many girls. If Chinedu knew from the onset that he didn’t want that sort of relationship with Nonye then he should have made it clear. What did he expect of the poor girl? Being that nice to her and doing all those things for her? This is a very interesting piece. Well done Aunty.
Interesting piece, this is a very common trend with young boys and girls, it is very good you know your stand in a relationship and always involve God in your relationship so you don’t make mistakes or waste your time in a relationship that’s not yours.
i dont see anything bad with Chinedu trying to relate well with Nonye without hidden intentions. coz am the type that relate with guys very well without a latent motive. friendship is different from romantic love, just that one lead to the other but not certainly. nice piece ma.
I tell people this…in your relationship with people, especially the opposite sex, you should try to make things clear between the two of you to avoid raising unnecessary hopes from either the girl or the guy…people tend to overeact to any little care and attention shown them.
well, just because some person thinks chinedu is destined for nonye that doesn’t make it right, I mean love is by choice not by force, well as for nonye she need to know what chinedu goals are for the relationship.
chinedu has a choice to choose, nonye really love chinedu, I meaning rejecting so many suitors and obviously waiting for chinedu her love.but the pressure is just too much for chinedu to handle, I mean marriage is not by force.
Wow, what an interesting story ma, my advice to people is that, it is not good to judge a book by its cover and conclude on matters you don’t really know how it started. but also Chinedu shouldn’t have done what he did because it is bad of him to just leave like that without letting Nonye’s know about his thought towards her.
Just like Chinedu, most people do this, including ladies. You know you don’t have interest on someone, yet, you won’t make it clear for them to know where they stand with you.Then you lead them on through your actions or even words and most people do this because of their selfish interest.
Though, I understand bro.Chinedu motives, but it could have been wise to make it clear where he stands with Nonye, so as not to break her heart and his worst decision was traveling without telling her (Nonye), though he was avoiding hurting her, but that was exactly what he did.
This short story should be an eye opener for many people in the world.
I agree that Chinedu’s lavish attention on Nonye may have given her the wrong intentions on what he feels for her, but Nonye was also wrong on the fact that she assumed that because Chinedu paid attention to her that he has plans for getting married to her.
Chindu in the other hand should have faced the consequences of his actions and set Nonye’s feelings for him straight.
This story taught me that people should be cautious of their actions and if they make mistakes they should deal with the consequences.
A real bad decision Chinedu took. Yes his goals were right but along the line, his plan was perceived wrongly by Nonye and every other person. His decision will cause a lot of havoc. Very important, in every relationship especially with the opposite sex, it should be well defined… To avoid stories that touch the heart… More inspiration MA
Chinedu should never have led Nonye into believing that there was something between them. Everyone has their lives to live and it is highly inappropriate to tie someone down when you have no plans for them. Nonye should have kept her mind open for other prospects and ask God to choose the right person for her. Also, Chinedu took the coward’s way out in running to Lagos without informing Nonye. We should learn to face everything with boldness.
Chinedu is a gentleman that means well, but he sent the wrong picture to Nonye who is a naive lady and other members of the church. I think he should have cleared their minds of whatever thoughts they are having contrary to his before taking off.
Chinedu was quite considerate in trying to help nonye break free from her shell.
But I kinda think he went about it the wrong way, he could have introduced her to friends and let her take over from there.
Nice twist though, thumbs ?
I don’t see the reason why the character has to feel pressured or chocked due to the display of emotional feelings by a woman.
I feel that the character Chinedu is among the class of boys who are scared of getting emotionally attached.
It pisses me off though, due to the fact that nonye the girl in question ain’t so bad.
Nonye was too naive, they would have talked about the state if their relationship at least once… Its very wrong to assume. Chinedu on the other hand was a coward by leaving without saying anything and to think that he “daughter zoned” her(lol). Please youths make ur relationship state clear with the opposite sex. Let’s all know the zone we are in. Nice one ma.
Chinedu’s behaviour is so bad. Instead of getting Nonye’s hope high, he should have told her earlier. It advice’s ladies to have confident and discuss your relationship status with the person you think you are dating so that you can know your stand in the relationship.
I don’t know why most ladies can’t accept love and care freely from guys without falling in love with the guy.Chinedu would have written the letter to Nonye so she can know her stand.
It is always better not to assume being in a relationship with someone simply because you love that person and the Two of you are friends. Most times, not all friendship will eventually land in marriage. So, beware.
Wow ma this story is really nice, I enjoy it. Chinedu shouldn’t have run away from what he started, of course he lead her on with the way he treated her differently from others, he should have told her his intentions so she doesn’t have to wait or him forever.
Chinedu actually led her on because he started giving her attention and she also being naive assumed they were in a relationship and began refusing suitors. …..His travelling Will play a huge role in her life although heartbroken, she would do the right thing which is to forget him and get married….This story is an eye opener to ladies……God bless you ma..
Very captivating Story . Its a common occurnce in church. Its a funny one but really emotional because of the mixed feelings involved.
Interesting. this kind of situation happens a lot to young girls especially in the church and it’s appalling. i don’t support what bro Chinedu did. he got himself in the mess, he should get himself out and not run from it.
There is nothing to hide chinedu should let her know that his not yet ready for marriage besides both did not agree on anything.
The earlier NONYE realize what she is doing the better for her
Not everyone you love would love you as equally as you do. It is necessary that you make your intentions known to a girl before you get into this kind of mess. You can’t marry someone you don’t feel for! Neither can you break someone’s heart just because you made it feel like you love the person. Make your intentions known. Love those you love and let the rest know what you feel emotionally about them.
This happens every day,we receive wrong impression from people,we may be thinking something while the other person is thinking a different thing altogether.its better that whatever we are doing we make our intention clear to the next person.
Nice piece Aunty Edith. Exactly what happened in d story is happening to young girls nowadays. They believe that any guy who is close to them as in the case of Chinedu and Nonye is their soulmate and in the end they end up being heart broken. But what Chinedu did is not wise. He would have called Nonye and cleared up things with her. I know it’s not easy but he should have tried.
That’s how guys will be making girls fall for them. I won’t really blame him sha but I think he kind of took the whole ‘helping’ thing too far. He kept leading her on. I won’t blame a girl for falling for someone she loves, even though her assumption that they were dating was kind of far fetched.
it good to man up to your decisions or opinion instead of just shying away .chinedu should at least tell her his mind no matter how it may hurt her instead of just keeping quiet and running away from it.
Chinedu is to blame for what happened, he got really close to her even more close than a friend can be, so I think its not Nonye’s fault to fall for him, but seeing that it was very hard for to open up to Nonye and tell her that he is not really into her means he has a soft spot for her but don’t want to admit it.
what a beautiful story. The soup brother Chinedu found himself in is one many youth find themselves in today the soup of “inexpressability”. I believe we all should find a way of define any and every relationship we find ourselves in, in other to avoid being in soup like bro. Chnedu. wether platonic or otherwise.
Is one of those things we see, girls and their madness that a guy cares about you as a lady is not enough reason for you to conclude your relationship with him is going to end up in marriage. And this is what is happening in our society today. I just pray that girls will come to their right sense and should stop rejecting suitors unnecessarily.
Men should know that women are emotional. If they are going to have any form of friendship with them, they should better define it straight up and stop assuming she knows it all. Ladies on their own should also get to know what the guy is up for in the relationship. Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. Bro. Chinedu, you no try oh!
Eiyyahhhh… I feel bad for both of them. Here is the naive nonye thinking she had found a husband and thus refusing other men, hanging on chinedus words and there is chinedu just seeing her as a sister.
I pray that never happens to me ohh imagine crushing on a guy only to have him tell me am just his sister… hmm.
I know what chinedu did, fleeing to lagos like that, rather face the problem head on, was cowardly and bad but frankly I would have done the same. I just can’t see my self hurting that naive girl and I know he didn’t want to hurt her
Then again we should not encourage people’s feelings for us no matter how small, when we don’t feel the same. And as outsiders we shouldn’t jump to conclusions on people’s life and relationship cus we do not know what is there or not. And when we do and the people concerned find out they tend to flow with the conclusions rather than their own hearts
This story proves why it isn’t okay to work with assumptions or indulge in untitled relationships because assumptions they say, is the lowest level of knowledge. Chinedu is wrong for leading Nonye on when he had no intention in pursuing a relationship with her. People should learn to express their feelings properly and at the right time.
That was cruel of him . He is indirectly tying himself with Nonye, thinking he is doing himself good. He will later regret his actions in the future, when he sees the estate of solitude and depression he left her with. Nonye also needs counselling by her pastor to forget about Chinedu and see the reasons why she should. It will help her. The pastor should not be silent about it.
The title of this story, from all indication, applies to both Chinedu and Nonye. The former is not in love yet, whereas the later is already in love (with Chinedu) and she’s not going to think of any other man.
Nevertheless, and if this story will continue (if it has not), I wish they both get a positive answer to this question and end up marrying themselves.
Kind regards, Aunty Edith.
Taking an important decision that Will run our life ain’t something easy to do. Chindeu really loves Nonye but the problem is that he was just being doomed by fear of what the future holds him. We should always learn one thing in this life, “things we made importance in our life Will always have a place in our future. My advice is we should not allow our current ill situation to weigh us down from the approaching success.
Very interesting one ma. But Chinedu did not try ooo. He should have explained things to Nonye instead of running away . I feel bad for Nonye. For all the brothers out there if you won’t marry her then stop making her feel special. Well done ma! God bless you
A gripping story it is.
I don’t really blame chinedu, although I feel sorry for Nonye.
Sisters, until he spells it out please don’t propose to yourself on his behalf.
I hope Nonye finds her way.
Chai! I feel for Nonye now. The helpless girl is still fantasizing about having a future with Chinedu without knowing that her thoughts are far from Chinedu’s thought. Poor girl. Chinedu is wrong,and i think he should find time to talk to Nonye about where he placed their friendship rather than running away! Nice story.
You dont just run from your problems, expecting it to be gone with the wind. Chinedu didnt do the right thing by running off. He should have written that letter because it would have helped to explain a lot of unspoken things. You solve your problems by facing it head on and not running away from it
I think Chinedu should make his stand clear. Nonye already settled her heart for Chinedu, who in turn just wanted their friendship rather than a life long relationship. Please, fantasy is not advisable at all, because you will be living in a world you created by yourself forgetting reality.
Its totally wrong for chinedu to hve left in the manner he did, hoping that Nonye will read his minds, he would have told her everything that needed to be said even though it won’t be easy, cause she might actually keep on waiting till God knows when
Awww…that was not so good of Chinedu to run away without saying anything to Nonye. Poor Nonye will be totally confused and heart broken when she gets to find out, that his long anticipated suitor has left her. This should be a great lesson to both single men and women our there. To the men, be mindful of the kind of relationship you engage with the opposite sex. Try and define the relationship you are having with your partner to avoid unnecessary assumption. And make sure you don’t go into something you know you will not be able to finish. To the Ladies, try and use both your heads and heart. Be observant.
It’s good that Chinedu knows what he wants, if he’s really ready for marriage or not. I commend him for not yielding into Nonye’s or people’s expectations because it can cause problems at the long run. Why won’t he move on when he has never proposed to her? Girls should really learn to use both their heads and heart.
I feel chinedu got it all wrong by not letting nonye know that he was not having the plans of settling down with her and even when he was making plans to leave he cared less about informing nonye and that is totally unfair. Secondly he should have have thought twice when he was relating closely with her because feeling develops fast especially between the opposite sex.
He shouldn’t have run away just like that,he should have faced his fears and clarify to Nnoye and others what their relationship was from the start. And people should not come to conclusion of other people or try to decide other people’s fate.
Chinedu should have at least did as his pastor had told him. He should have clarified himself with Nnoye and everybody before leaving so as not to keep her hopes up and thinking that she would get over him and move on.
Hmmmm, complicated. Nonye and Chinedu are trying to confuse me here. Well all I have to say is that we should be careful with how we relate to the opposite sex. Because every communication creates a bond and frequent communication upholds more bonds.
I totally relate to Chinedu’s situation,I’ve been in a similar situation. But unlike Chinedu, I talked to the guy and made things clear and we still talk but I don’t judge Chinedu at all for leaving without having a conversion with Nonye. Personally, I feel if you want more than friendship, you tell the person, who knows, the person might like you back, all that sign thing and dropping hints doesn’t really work for everyone. Like Chinedu, I was the last person to notice that he liked me in that way. Not everyone is good at reading signs people!
this is interesting Ma. So touching, it is important for people to be honest to their loved ones to avoid causing disastrous pains on them. Chinedu should have told nonye that he was not going to marry her so that she would not feel betrayed by someone she loved so much. I wouldn’t blame Nonye for her action, for even as I read the story, with the way he behaved towards her, I was thinking he will marry her cause the emotional attention he lavished on her was too much to be just a friend
I won’t apportion blames to any of them. Because from my own point of view, Chinedu was only trying his best to refine Nonye. No strings attached!. He didn’t make advances to her nor take advantage of her naivety.
Consequently, Nonye on her own part started developing mushy feelings for Nedu because of all the attention she’s got from him. I don’t know why we women love attention so much.
Poor Nonye! She was already building castles in the air, I hope she survives it. Time heals everything, she’ll be fine eventually.
Chinedu should have summoned courage to have a meaningful discussion with her because travelling to Lagos than writing her a letter. Kai! Poor girl….
He didn’t even write the letter. Bless you!
Chinedu should have summoned courage to engage in a meaningful discussion with her ‘before’ travelling to Lagos than writing her a letter….. (I noticed some errors in my last paragraph.)
Bless you too MA! I think I didn’t get that point clearly. So Chinedu didn’t even get to write the letter? Too bad for him. ?
This story just taught me an important lesson , always define whatever relationship you have with someone so as not to mislead them and if you think something is happening ask, be sure, hear it from the horses mouth to avoid misconception.
Wow! Such an interesting read though… This one na serious’Yawa’. Well this is what happens when relationships be it friendship or whatsoever are not defined from the beginning. Yes, Chinedu’s intentions were good but she was already falling for him. I can’t say I’m a saint ooo, becos I would have fallen for him if I was in her shoes. Just so disappointed at the way he ran away, he couldn’t even man up to face his responsibilities.
Thanks for sharing Ma’am
This is lovely when we begin something and sees that it has no end or direction it is advisable to restrain from it especially when it involves human emotions. We shouldn’t hurt people all in the name of helping them we should tell the truth and face the consequences in any given situation
It better to always tell people their stand in your life in other not to hurt any feelings at the end of the day.
Some girls can just become carried away..
He should have called and talked to her before leaving for Lagos…
Can you imagine!?
It is always hard to end what you have already started, especially that of an excellent relationship.chinedu and Nonye must have gone a long way only for chinedu to come up with the idea of breaking up.Nonyes love for chinedu is real to the extent that she rejected suitors that came for her,just to be with chinedu her heartthrob,but just to be disappointed by the same chinedu.
I understand how Chinedu feels but running away is not an option because Nonye might still be hoping on him
Her hopes will still be on him coming back some day to propose
He should have been bold enough to tell her about his feelings and in no time she will get over it
I can’t apportion blame to any of them. Chinedu on his part was trying to brush Nonye up but because of the attention she got, she mistook it for affection. That’s why it is good to talk about these things in a relationship to know where one is standing. But chinedu’s way of handling it is not proper. Since he don’t have the courage of talking to her face to face, he should have gone ahead and typed the massage he had in mind instead of running off like that. Nonye could still be nosing the feeling that he will come back for him and reject all the suitors that will cone in the near future. Talking is the only way out. Thank you ma for the wonderful story hope to read what happened next.
It would have made things easier if they had discussed and made things clear to avoid misconceptions. I really can’t put blames on anyone but having a conversation would be best. Suspense-filled story.
What? Fled? To where? Why? Just when I was happy he was about to man up he fled? Hmmmm,not so wonderful of brother Chinedu.
That was a very cowardly action carried out by Chinedu. Why run? Is she a masquerade that he can’t face her? I’m disappointed. Women too Sha, the fact that a guy is friendly does not mean he has other intentions. But then, bro Chinedu shouldn’t have encouraged her too.
That’s bad of Chinedu. Is that not toying with Nonye’s future? It will be catastrophic for Nonye because I don’t see her not continuing to wait for brother Chinedu. Chinedu should have at least written the letter
Quite inarguable to assert on human calculation each time a boy and a girl pair in close space. Chinedu on a friendly gesture, while Nonye built castle of emotions. same relates in our our social milieu utterly unrealistic to label a boy and a girl to be just friends. The doubt of no intimacy arises. So every eye has their anticipation towards the duo… Even the pastor taste to bless their conjugal bliss
Ifeanyi, you’re still writing in this obscure style? ???
Would be a lot better if you embraced simplicity and clarity in your writing.
It seems the last time I read this story I was in a hurry ?????
I have Chinedu’s kinds in my life but since everyone is not the same, I don’t mind. What I do rather is whenever my male friend is acting funny, I sit you down and tell you politely and clearly that I don’t have feelings for you oo. What we’re having is a genuine platonic friendship.
NB: I don’t do this to ridicule them but instead to let them know their thoughts are wrong, maka ndi o so chi egbu!
I love this story ♥️♥️♥️
That’s thoughtful of you. ?
Chinedu’s act of running away is not the best option,he should have made things clear between him and Nonye;he should have told her that he doesn’t love her so that she can move on with her life despite the hurt. She may assume that he feels something for her without knowing that he doesn’t, the best way to handle it is to tell her the truth that the relationship is based only on friendship and nothing more.
Thanks so much for this ma. Am really enjoying your work, it is amazing n I hope to keep learning more from you.
Concerning this story, from my perspective, I think parents no matter how strick, religious and protective of their children they are, to give freedom to their wards especially the female ones instead of controlling their lives or keeping them locked up. This will help them learn about the world around them and how to face it squarely with the right approach.
Had it been Nonye was given a little freedom and not hidden in a cocoon, she wouldn’t have felt so elated and on top the world to the extent of falling for him when chinedu decided to help her out with his church mind. This will definitely be a breakfast for her in the midst of dinner since she is so new to this feeling.
Secondly, there should have been a clear definition of motive from the side of Chinedu even if he was trying to help a sister and never had any bad intention towards her. This would have prevented a whole lot of headaches and saved the poor girl from heartbreak, the misinterpreted thoughts of the people and finally him running away like a coward instead of facing the situation head-on and cleaning the mess he created.
I think the boy is a coward running away when it seems he couldn’t handle it the girl should just forget about him
Coward I don’t believe him u know what ladies we need to be strong and show the opposite gender that we are not trash
Abeg, no fight o! He didn’t do well sha!
That is why it’s good to define a relationship/ friendship before entering into it.
This happens a lot between most young people of opposite sex, instead of defining their relationships they would prefer to assume and align with the thoughts “ let’s see how it goes ” which would eventually not go well. I wish Chinedu had spoken to Nonye about his plans and save her the emotional stress which would help her move on with her life. I also hope she doesn’t lose her husband while waiting for Chinedu.
A very interesting piece. I love it.
Honestly, I feel so sad for Nonye , having built strong feelings for Chinedu and she was left all alone without hearing a word from the man she loved dearly. Chinedu should have left her a message or talked to her and made his intentions clear.
I believe this story holds a lesson for both sides. The girl shouldn’t have assumed anything since the relationship wasn’t made clear and the guy should have at least made things clear for her. This was a wonderful piece ma, thanks for this
I blame Nonye for letting her heart control her head. I had a similar experience before I got admission into the university. I was close to a brother in the church and many people, both in and outside the church,thought that something was going on between us. We did many things together, he was the youths pastor while I was the acting youths president; the president got a job and left the village. This brother protected and defended me and would correct me when I make mistakes. Infact, there was a time someone accused me of something and everybody were judging and blaming me without giving me the opportunity to tell my own side of the story. My pastor, though he scolded me, he reported me to Ikem (the brother) and told him to call me to order. It was a serious situation and my reputation was at stake. Ikem heard me out, understood me and defended me and he ensured that other people get what actually happened. He sincerely loved me as his sister and there was nothing more to it.
Unfortunately, at a point I began to develop feelings for him. He didn’t know and I wasn’t going to tell him because I knew it was not a mutual feeling and he would withdraw himself from me.
So, I gave him space. As much as possible, I avoided being close to him. I would trek home instead of following him in his car. After vigils, I would stay in the church till day break instead of following him to his house so I would go home from there in the morning. From church to my house is 55 minutes trekking while from his house to mine is 15 minutes trekking. I had to suffer to kill that feeling because which kind wahala be this one 🤷. But I was also begging God to help me to overcome it.
Finally, Ikem introduced me to his best friend who was ready to get married. Now, I am married to his friend. Many people in the church including my pastor was surprised when they learnt that he introduced me to his friend for marriage. Also, when I come across some people outside the church, who knew us then, and tell them that I am married, the first thing they would ask me is “is Ikem aware that you are married?”. They’re always shocked when I tell them that I met my husband through him.
Today Ikem is also married and we remain good friends.
I understand Nonye’s plight, she should take heart, move on and never hold it against Chinedu. I mean… the young man is innocent.
But men should understand that women are more emotional than logical and can read meaning to any show of kindness from men.
It is sha not our fault 🤦.
Wow, thank you for sharing your experience so frankly. This will surely bless a lot of people. May the Lord continue to flourish your marriage and your home in Jesus’ name.
And this is why it’s very important to define a relationship from the start, especially if feelings gets involved early . Chinedu and Nonye would have defined the relationship so as to know where the stand and to avoid hurt feelings in the end. Now she’s rejecting suitors and Nonye has no plans whatsoever, obviously he doesn’t feel the same way about her.
Nonye situation is a pitiable one, matters of the heart are some of the things encountered as adults, I hope it doesn’t break her but makes her stronger.
Thank you so much ma’am for this, for bringing to light the harm that can be done from not having clear communication concerning a relationship from the onset.
It’s interesting to know how much people misplace important things such as feelings and emotions. If you don’t like someone to that extent then make it evident to the person. Don’t let them create skyscrapers in their heads about you.
Also, people should not assume feelings and emotions without them being addressed first.
Thank you so much ma, for pointing this out.
This kind of situations play out often. I feel a man should know what he wants and communicate it, so assumptions will not be made by the lady and also to avoid cliché questions like “what are we?”
Wow. It is not only in the world that men tend to use young girls naivety even in the church.
Christian girls should be watchful and prayerful.
He should have at least given her that closure I feel Nonye deserved that.
Nice story, Aunty.
A real masterpiece indeed. From my point of view this story isn’t particular to the guy or the girl in a relationship but to both of them as couples needs to learn to apply wisdom in their relationships else a once blissful relationship may come to a tragic end.
This is very unfair,you don’t leave people hanging just like that! Why didn’t he just open up to her? So sad.
I feel so hurt. I just wore Nonye’s shoes, while reading this piece. I really understand Chinedu, but it would have been less painful for Nonye if he made things plain to her, so that she wouldn’t waste her time chasing shadows. Wonderful write up ma
To be honest,I saw my past in Nonye. I remember having an argument with my roommate about brothers who lead sisters on even when they don’t have any reciprocated feelings. Why?
They were both adults so brother Chinedu must have sensed Nonye’s feelings and it would have been best to stop her on time no matter how painful.
Also,it is safer to have a like gender as a mentor especially if one hasn’t gotten strong hold over one’s emotions.
Beautiful story ma’am.