This story is based on my personal experience of true friendship and Christian unity. It is an addition to other contributions on the latter theme on this blog, namely, the poem, “We are one”; the guest posts, “The gospel according to my church and I” and “Myself the judge”. The story is funny and relatable. Enjoy and share your impressions at the end.

Miss P and I
When I was a graduate student living in Nkrumah Hall, University of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN), I had a classmate called Patience but I preferred to call her Miss P. She was so soft and gentle like a lamb. After watching how delicately she walked and talked, my maternal instincts were stirred. I wanted to protect and care for her. So I befriended her and told her I’ll be her mum. She was probably slightly older than me but she played along and began to call me “Mummy.”

She lived on the opposite wing of the first floor from mine, that floor being reserved for female students. I often went to her room to fetch her so we could go to lectures together. And everytime I went there, she would run a comb through her hair, put on some white powder and announce that she was ready. But I was not satisfied with her looks and often told her so.

Even back then, I had a high sense of duty (even if I say so myself). So, in furtherance of the discharge of my maternal responsibilities and because I considered myself some sort of artist, I decided that I was going to give her a make-over. Not just one make-over but several, so that she would see what she was missing by not using make-up.

You see, Miss P and I were both born-again but while I was among the Christian sisters who felt free to wear slacks and use make-up, the only artificial thing she did was perm her hair. I suppose she didn’t need any convincing that struggling with her natural hair will cost her precious time as a student. It seemed her mind was made up on this contentious matter, though. But, perhaps, to humour me, she let me tinker with her looks a few times. ?????


I told her that her face had so much potential, we just needed to brighten it up a bit with a touch of colour here and there. I also styled her hair in different ways. It was fun but she would wash off the stuff right after. After all my hard work! ???

Miss P explained that she didn’t feel comfortable wearing make-up, that it felt like she was someone else when she did.

“Yes,” I agreed. “It’s a finer version of you!”

But that didn’t change her mind. So we moved about: the mother with carved brows, black-lined eyes, rosy cheeks and flaming red lips and the daughter in just her lovely brown skin, no extra colours added. We ended up complementing each other quite well. We disagreed about how to dress up but we agreed on the fundamentals of the faith like everyone needs to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus to be saved and should live a God-honouring life thereafter with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I didn’t have my way but I gained new respect for my “daughter”. It seemed that she didn’t need me as her protector after all. Beneath the tender exterior was a steely core, a dtetermination to be herself and live by her convictions irrespective of how others viewed her. I felt alright wearing makeup and so did many other girls, but she wouldn’t do it just to please others. I could relate with that because I too was independent-minded and didn’t live for people’s approval.

When I saw how strongly she felt about it, I stopped bothering her. She, on her part, did not condemn or try to change me. That was the secret of our friendship and we had many happy days at UNN, Miss P and I. ??
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  • Ibe Chinwe Cynthia

    Awwwn! Lovely

  • Eze Benjamin Oduma

    WOW! What a friendly-mother and daughter relationship,with mutual understanding.That is interesting.

  • Wow! I love this…it’s so nice and funny……wish to write mine when i graduate.

  • Ugwu Amarachi Deborah

    hmmmmmm this is an interesting piece, understanding really keeps a relationship moving

  • Ndukwe Catherine U

    I believe friendship is all about mutual understanding.Thank God you understood that and that’s because you valued your friendship. Nice write up!

  • Luke Chinyere Esther

    what a wonderful relationship.

  • chekuzo s veronica

    nice one

  • nwafor chukwudalu f.

    You hardly find friends who understand you like that these days

  • dis is really lovely and inspiring

  • nwafor chukwudalu f.

    Well i should rather say i hardly find friends who understand me like that these days

  • Chinwe Okpalaoka

    Of course, I, too, remember Ms. P. She was so soft-spoken and gentle:-) Love the way you presented this experience:-)

  • There’s a part of the story I’d love to hear: how did the mother become like the daughter?

  • Shade


  • Indeed lady P showed the true virtue of Christianity……Nice one

  • Be careful of who you associate with especially in the higher institution, your friend can either make you or mar you. Also, live your life to please God.

  • Okpechi Augustina

    Meeting and knowing people will always be a gain attached to schooling.

  • Onyinyechi ukamaka Ekwem

    Wow..i’m so emotional right now

  • Ndubuisi Uchenna Nicholas

    it is good to see friends that accept each other wholly despite their individual differences and better to see people that stand for what the uphold despite what others think

  • Ndukwu cynthia C

    its actually very true that makeup brings out a finer version of you. Nice story

  • Ekpali Joseph Saint

    understanding precedes love, and that’s exactly what keeps a relationship going….

  • Ekeh Chioma Jennifer

    understanding the bedrock of success

  • I love people who always stick to what they believe in and are not pushed around, trying to be like others.

  • Onah Juliet Ezinne

    Environmental influence cannot make one deviate from what he or she is known for.

  • Oweka Chioma Sandra

    Such an exemplary friendship. God is good

  • opiri chidimma

    wow!that’s what friendship is all about.

  • osuagwu chiamaka

    wow, what a nice post. reading this just made reflect on my relationship with my friend here on campus

  • Ezike ifeyinwa. A.

    awwwwww!!!! Im touched

  • Onuorah chinemerem

    Exactly, recognizing and cherishing our similarities, and respecting our differences. Nice.

  • Ubah chisom mariagorathy

    Being oneself is good, it was a nice relationship. I like that.

  • Ezenwa Obinna Grant

    Indeed a mutual friendship: Just like that of David and Jonathan. No matter our differences, true love covers our weaknesses and tolerates our differences. It is a virtue to be one’s self and to stick to one’s good beliefs. It is said that one who cannot be himself/herself is a counterfeit. What a post, Nice one!

  • onyeabor ijeoma

    Hahahaha! funny just like my friend and I… is not all about doing what others are doing, is about being yourself and happy with whatever you do…nice one

  • Alegu, Solomon Chidi

    what a wonderful and extr-ordinary friendship void of any negative mind-set. it’s so lovely. God bless you, my lecturer for sharing this post to us. it is full of moral lessons. we love you.

  • agi comfort

    Waow dats a kul frienship

  • ohakwe oluchi judith

    wish i have a frnd like miss p who will luv me the way i am without imposing or wanting me to be like her…

  • Onaga kosi

    People have there different views on different things in life in the story make up was sighted ,as human you would want them to blend into your ways some times it works,some other time not so well at the end you have to learn to respect one another’s opinion.And that is full grown maturity wonderful piece.

  • Eze Valentine Chibuike

    After reading this story let no fellow in 019 disturb me to cut my 1979 Afro ooo!!! I stand for it

  • A good friend is better than wicked sister.Ma, please be my friend.

  • Otugo Lucky Joel

    This is a good example of what friendship should be. Aunt you are wonderful


    true friendship still exist

  • munachimso njoku

    Nice and funny piece. Really interesting. True friendship truly involves understanding and respect of the other’s decision. Nice one, Ma!

  • Egbe Ebere

    Wow.. Interesting and mind blowing

  • rilly nice story….am quite impressed

  • oluchukwu Maryrose

    wow that’s amazing

  • Fidelis Favour Chiamaka

    Friendship in a university environment is quite tough, its good to know you two understood each other. Nice write-up.

  • oleru precious

    true friends are hard to find

  • mordi ifeoma

    which is kinda rare in most relationship nowadays. there’s always dis competition….

  • Ifebe june sobechukwu

    wow….am amazed at such a wonderful story.It is really breath taking and interesting

  • Ugwu Hilda

    wow!! i agree

  • Nwanna Eugenia chioma

    nice write-up
    understanding matters alot
    in a relationship



  • Anigbo chisom.a.

    Be who u are and the best u can be

  • okereke chukwuemeka matthew

    nice piece ma

  • Analike vivian ukamaka

    interesting and funny one ma. Ride on

  • ugwoke onyinyechi sylvia

    Good friends like yours are scarce this days.

  • odo chidera s


  • osuagwu chiamaka

    when you choose the right friends, the moments spent together will always be remembered and cherished

  • Aruma kosisochukwu.cynthia

    wow…!dats wonderful

  • Empere Reuben

    interesting story about friendship, one just has to know their friends well.

  • okonkwo benita chidimma


  • Jeremiah Chioma

    Miss p. I would have loved to meet her.

  • Njoku Chimamaka Elizabeth

    True friends live in our memory forever!

  • Eze Nnenna Victoria

    This type relationship is mouth-watery and is an epitome of a lasting relationship.Nice piece.

  • maduebo ifunanya blessing

    Nice story,its lovely

  • Rose Jonathan

    Wow! If people would copy that from you and live without trying to change others, life would be better.

  • Eneje maureen ogechukwu

    dats interesting nd lovely a friend in need is a friend indeed lets live an examplary life like her

  • That is true definition of friendship

  • chika udeorah

    No two humans are the same, what works for you might not work out for another person,you both have different perception about a thing but the relationship was still cordial

  • Ebreso Benjamin Bassey

    nice, having personal differences yet still maintaining that bond.

  • Amadi victoria chinwendu

    Wow! what a nice understanding u both created for yourselves.

  • Ugwuja cynthia chioma

    I cant help but envy you two. Hope you still keep in touch

  • Nneji mary chinenye

    Nice school mum and daughter relationship

  • onyebuchi gideon

    Miss P is a wife material. Girls friendships are always d best anyway!!!

  • That is what friendship is all about. love your friends for who they are. love everything about them even their flaws and that is what makes them unique.

  • Okwor Donald Chidubem

    this one is inspiring

  • Attih Faith Etim

    Wow! This piece is great, What a great friendship. Really love it Ma

  • Thelma Ideozu

    this is sweet 🙂

  • ugwu ifunanya

    Understanding life is understanding that everyone has a different way of viewing things. nice one

  • Attamah chidiogo geroginah

    tolerating each others decision or way of life is very important in relationship.

  • Freedom Okpubeku

    Enjoying ones relationship has so much to do with d level of understanding btwn or among the peoples. People should throw away any form of holier-than-thou attitude. We should learn to take people the way they are and respect their opinions as long as such opinions are generally acceptable to society and not evil or deadly. UUUNAA! The story dey ooo! It is interesting and educating.

  • Perpetua

    I love this. Don’t change for anyone. Be yourself, and be just the way God wants you to be. He loves you for who you are and not just for your physical appearance. Nice one, Ma.

    • Edith Ohaja

      That’s right, Perpetua! If we keep changing according to other people’s opinions, we’ll be making a caricature of ourselves. Bless you!

  • Obetta Collins Odinakachukwu

    nice piece… makes me remember some of my old folks.. really luv this

  • Chike Chiemela Elizabeth

    Eeya! Jealous much! Such species of friends are very rare now. Even though you were different in terms of fashion, you were united by your beliefs. Can two work together except they agree? No. ?

  • Ogechi

    ? “flaming red lips” I couldn’t help but pass ????? by.
    Lesson:Be yourself! You’re the architect of your own decisions, people can advice but the final say lies on you. Always follow your spirit,as long as the spirit of God is within you

  • Muoka onyeka

    Wow Dis z so amazing!!

  • Flawless Ifeanyi

    Best friends for life, it’s good to understand your friends and vise versa. In doing that you both will not have any issues what so ever.

  • Nneka Orjiude

    The article is lovely ma.Unity in faith, adhering to the basic principles and keeping the faith that is what foremostly matters.It is another inspirational article that has left me pondering on somethings.God bless you ma

  • Joseph Chizoba Kingsley

    This story is really interesting. It can be learnt from this story that in friendship, you and your friend may not be in agreement in everything – there’s always individual differences. The only thing that will keep any friendship is understanding one another very well, and the friendship will continue.

  • Oleighibe Oluebube Tessy

    This is a beautiful post, I can’t help myself Ma, I can’t stop staring at the younger version of you in the picture, indeed Ma, you’ve always been beautiful. This story however reminds me of my best friend and I, though I play the role of Miss P. but not because I want to please anyone but because I didn’t like make-up, however my best friend actually won, because I do wear makeup now though not always. There’s a great feeling to have someone who do not only likes you but also understands and respects you.

  • Charles D.

    Friendship is a goal we all must try to achieve and to achieve that goal we must understand our friends and be willing to tolerate them.

  • Egenti Blossom Mmesoma

    Understanding is one of the fundamental keys to friendship. The fact that the both of you understood each other and respected your boundaries is so encouraging. Different people have different beliefs, because we all come from different places and were not brought up the same way. Some girls would like to put makeup and define their beauty and feel comfortable, while others feel more comfortable with their natural looks. It doesn’t mean that one is better than the other, but just different views and choice.

  • Asogwa chidera promise

    There is this joy when u have a friend that u do things with, understand each other, share almost the same view with..
    Buh nevertheless understanding and honesty is the major thing to consider.. And miss p didn’t hesitate to be honest with her feelings.

  • Ominaki pamela

    This story just enlightened me to be myself and not change myself for anybody, because I’m made in the image and likeness of God, so no one can make me feel inferior and inadequate because of my looks, because I’m beautiful inside-out.

  • Janefrances Nwaduche

    In a world where people derive so much joy in blending, and following the crowd, I commend those who still have a mind of their own. I like the fact that, you and miss P, stood by your principles. Nice write up, Ma.

  • Janefrances Nwaduche

    In the world today, where people derive so much joy in following the crowd, I commend those who still have ‘a mind of their own’. I like the fact that you and miss P, upheld your principles. Nice write-up ma.

  • Chukwunwenwa Chinenye

    Miss P Miss P?.
    I could imagine her washing off her face after all the stress you put in trying to make her look finer. ? lol. Typical example of what my dear mum would have done. My mum wouldn’t have allowed you touch her face in the first place sef.

    It’s a thing to respect our differences and another thing to cherish the things we have in common.

  • Idika Uloma Sophia

    Mother and daughter!lolzzzzz. Becoming friends is about understanding.Miss P believed that no one can change her.Thank God you understood that and that’s because you valued your friendship. Some friends cannot tolerate that. They will just say to hell, with minding what their friend wants.”Nne Na nwa ya”.This is good.Thanks ma!

  • Idika Uloma Sophia

    Mother and daughter!lolzzzzz. Becoming friends is about understanding.Miss P believed that no one can change her.Thank God you understood that and that’s because you valued your friendship. Some friends cannot tolerate that. They will just say to hell, with minding what their friend wants.”Nne Na nwa ya ??”.This is good.Thanks ma!

  • Thomas Rebecca Ina

    Lol! so you choose to mother your elder?
    Interesting story, I love people like Miss P. living for themselves on their own convictions I really love that.
    Did she also always tie her hair?

  • Chukwukanne chinecherem winner

    What an interesting story.we should know the friendship is all about understanding and tolerance .

  • Chukwukanne chinecherem winner

    What an interesting story ma. I love people like miss p. People who do their own things in their own way and can not be intimidated by any. Friendship I know is all about tolerance and understanding, lets learn to accommodate people the way the are, not minding their dressing or the way they are

  • Iyorakpo Dorathy

    This is lovely! I ship relationships like this where both parties are not alike in all things, after all they say opposites attract.

  • Udo faithful uche

    Awww… This is beautiful. I too have a best friend. We are actually different in many ways down to our personalities. But she doesn’t judge me neither do I. Neither is she compelled to act like me nor me like her. And we complement each other perfectly.

    If in a friendship, friends are not compelled or pressured to act or behave like the other person, I think that friendship will last longer and the two would have high regards for each other.

  • Miracle Ogbonna

    I have been imagining in my head how you were fussing over her 😅 fulfilling your maternal duties which from all indications you were called for. The concept of friendship or relationship centers on acceptance of each other’s difference and understanding. If she had not been understanding it wouldn’t have worked out.

    Cheers to your friendship.

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