5 INSIGHTS ON LOVING GOD GAINED FROM MY MARRIAGE by KENNETH PAULSEN
Intro by Edith Ohaja
God created all things and although He is high and holy, He desires the companionship of human beings, the crowning glory of His creation. When we examine our relationships with other human beings, we see some parallels between them and our relationship with God.
In this guest post, a dear brother in the Lord, Kenneth Paulsen, draws some salient lessons we can apply in our relationship with God from his marriage.
God has demonstrated His love for us, the Bible says, by sending His Son, Jesus, to die for us (Romans 5:8). What has been our response to that? The book of Hosea shows how raw His pain is when we turn our backs on Him.
May God bless us through this post and bless our brother, Kenneth, and his wife abundantly for contributing this insightful and relatable post in Jesus’ name.
5 INSIGHTS ON LOVING GOD GAINED FROM MY MARRIAGE
My wife, Cristina, and I will be married 6 years this December. I will be drawing analogies from our relationship with each other to man’s relationship with God in this post and present some insights gained therefrom to help us see how we are expected to love God.
My approach to the Holy Texts is in trying to understand ideas, so I won’t be quoting book, chapter and verse. This now being understood, may God bless my attempt here to give you something useful to bless your life in a meaningful way.
The Creator of the universe, seeing the state of His fallen creation, came to earth to redeem it and make enemies friends. The greatest act of love ever performed took place on a lonely hill with soldiers, thieves and a cross.
When I was dating Cristina, a point came when I was willing to express to her my feelings by saying, “I love you.” If she had not said to me in return, “I love you too,” I would have felt very embarrassed. Kind of like someone not raising their hand to meet yours in a high five. Awkward.
INSIGHT #1 – God continually tells us He loves us. We need to tell Him how much we love Him too.
But that doesn’t happen with most people. And so it goes that there is God, having said to His beloved, “I love you,” and receiving not just silence but curses and insults in return, He must feel very sad. When I was a monk in a Roman Catholic Benedictine monastery, I learnt that monks view the love of God as displayed in His faithfulness to the just and the unjust in the cycles of the sun, moon, stars and seasons. Monks attempt to return the faithfulness of God through a rigorous lifestyle (a disciplined daily schedule of prayer, study and work); thus imitating the rising and setting of the sun, God’s daily expression of, “I love you.”
We do not need to be monks to imbibe and exhibit such discipline, even though it would be to a less degree since we are not separated from the world as they are, having regular jobs and families to care for. But each of us need to reciprocate God’s love by committing our lives to Him much like I did to Cristina when I married her. This we do by accepting Jesus as our personal Lord and Saviour. And then follow it up by spending quality time with Him in prayer and in the word.
INSIGHT #2 – We need to commit our lives to God as an expression of our love for Him. True love is not fleeting, it is enduring.
Cristina and I were married in December 2011. I was already enrolled in a degree program at a university. But I took one year off from school to give our marriage the best chance before introducing the stress of school to our married life. And even now, I do not neglect her. No matter how busy we are, we will find time to spend with the ones we love, God included.
INSIGHT #3 – Spending quality time with God, whether in praise and worship, prayer or word study will become habitual when we love God.
We also show love by listening and heeding the words of our loved ones. God does love to hear us express our love to Him but we need to do this not just with words but by living as He requires us to do in His word so that people can see right away that we belong to Him and seek Him too.
For example, I started back to school in January 2008 as a Sociology major, and also began to work out at the gym regularly. When I met Cristina, I was 30 pounds heavier and had changed my major to Physical Fitness. We want to look our best to those we love and make the effort to do so. We should do no less for God. Sin makes us look bad. It is unnecessary spiritual weight which we need to shed to look good to and for God. He can help us do this if we let Him.
INSIGHT #4 – To look good to God and attract others to Him, we need to shed sin and other unnecessary weight that bog us down spiritually.
Also, shortly after our marriage, Cristina, being smarter than me and knowing that I had been a Marine Electrician in the U.S. Navy, suggested that I study in school something that I had experience in. So when I returned to school in 2012, my declared major became Electronics Communication Systems.
I listened to my wife and took her advice to alter the course of my education and thereafter my life. This I believe is a solid act of love expressed and displayed. And God has continued to use her to influence and bless my life. Having already completed my general education requirements, I needed only to take the courses required for my major. This I did, one course per semester at a time, leaving me now only needing to take one more class this Fall. I will earn my Associate’s degree this December, our 6th wedding anniversary.
When we heed God’s counsel, our lives turn out so much better than when we ignore or disobey Him because He is omniscient and has our best interests at heart. It must hurt God to see us suffer as a result of disregarding His word (which is a way of spurning His love) when we could have things easier.
INSIGHT #5 – We listen to God and do as He says if we really love Him. Besides, God knows better than we do and wants only the best for us.
[bctt tweet=”If a man love me, he will keep my words …. – John 14:23 (KJV)” username=”edithohaja1″]
Cristina and I realise this and we have one simple practice to daily reaffirm our love for God. We always close our prayers with, “We thank You and we love You in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.”
I thank you for allowing me to share my love for God with you, and if you are so persuaded, please love God for who He is; the Sovereign, All Powerful, Glorious Lord; and not just for what you think you might be able to get from Him.
May we all echo God’s constant “I love you” back to Him because that is the reason He made us: to love Him and to dwell with Him forever. God bless us all mightily in Jesus’ name.
[bctt tweet=”We love him, because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19-20 (KJV)” username=”edithohaja1″]
Kenneth and Cristina
ABOUT THE WRITER:
Kenneth A Paulsen is a United States citizen, resident in San Diego, CA. Kenneth accepted Jesus into his heart at the Baptist Church his grandparents attended when he was about seven years old. He is an Electronics Technician for a military contractor.
[bctt tweet=”Love is best when it is mutual. #quote #love” username=”edithohaja1″]
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Great post…love the analogy of his marriage to his relationship with God. He is living out His role of loving his wife as Christ loves the church.
Enjoyed this post.
Thanks a great deal, Cindy! Indeed, He is. God’s grace in your ministry in Jesus’ name.
So much wisdom in this analogous perspective! Thank you.
Bless you, Tammy! I appreciate!
So niiiice! I love the connection here between the love for his marriage and God. I have learnt alot from this guest post God bless you ma.
True love is not fleeting, it is enduring! I loved that insight. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my marriage is that emotions are fickle. Our relationship with God, our relationship with our spouse, is best viewed long-term. Enduring love!
Thanks a whale, Traci! Emotions can fluctuate but when we stick out our commitments, it’s better all round.
what wonderful and thought-provoking analogies! nice one, ma.
Thank you, Iheanyi! You are richly blessed in Jesus ‘ name.
Beautiful post. when we seek God we attract others even our spouse more. My husband and I pray together and are doing Bible school together. we think it is so important to grow spiritually close together, because then our marriage also becomes stronger and more fruitful.
You’re so right, Hyla! Thanks a lot for visiting and may God use you and your husband more and more for His glory in Jesus’ name.
Great post! It is true that everything we do should be out of love to God. It shouldn’t be a burden, it should be a joy for the One who first loved us!
Thanks a lot, Josephine! God bless your efforts for His kingdom with great fruit in Jesus’ name.
God’s love for us is undying and as children of God we should love God too. we should always build our lives in accordance with God’s words and everything will surly fall in place.
Indeed ! This is a true expression of love.GOD IS LOVE AND WE HAVE THE NATURE OF LOVE. Our love nature should be a reality through expression . This is what is demanded of us as sons of a loving father.
You mean we should express our love. The concern of this post is that we should reciprocate God’s love to us. You are blessed!
Love is incomplete when it is not reciprocated.
bless you ma.
Bless you too!
The love of God is all encompassing and thus we need to reciprocate in every way we can.
I agree.
I love this analogous perspective. it is such that helps one remember his/her mistakes and go back to God. thank you ma
thank u ma for feeding us with words of wisdom and of GOD, for any family founded on God can never shake because there must be that love people are striving for there.
Glory to God! Thank God too for Kenneth and his wife.
This is great ma, the reciprocation of God’s love is very necessary.We should obey His commandment, John 14:23 says if a man love me, he will keep my words and when we keep God’s words that means we are reciprocating His love. Relating Kenneth’s marriage with his relationship with God we will see that Kenneth loves his wife just as Christ loves the church.God bless you ma for this post.
Loving God is the best thing that can ever happen to any man because loving God comes with many benefits, just as in the life of Mr Paulsen. He directs you, sustains you and makes his provision sufficient for you. I pray that this marriage will continue to blossom and grow in God’s love.
Beautiful prayer. I pray that we reciprocate God’s love in our own lives too. Amen in Jesus’ name.
I think that number three is my favourite, if we truly love God, we will desire to spend time with him, in fact we will be desperate for it!
I totally agree, Alice! Thanks a lot for dropping by and stay blessed!
This is wonderful! And isn’t it the true purpose of marriage to show God’s heart for us? Thank you for an amazing post.
Yes, it is, Ginabad! Thanks a lot for dropping by and remain blessed!
Beautiful example about God’s love for us, and how we grow to love Him. Great post Kenneth1 Loved it!
Hello April! Glad to have you here. God bless you very much.
This is a beautiful post, Edith. So lovely to read.
Glad you liked it, Penny! Praise the Lord! God’s grace with your writing and everything else in Jesus’ name.
Its nice to put God in everytin we are doin and watch it turn out well. Am always appreciative of God’s work in my life and always will be
God is love and if we say we know him and we do not have love it shows that we are lieing it flows off God and so should we give as we freely receive
True love is not driven by Emotions and feelings but by value, respect and honesty…It’s quite amazing to know that despite all our short comings God still sees us with value, respect, and Honour. The Analysis of this post using his marriage is also very beautiful…..
A marriage with God’s love is everything, a place where you can learn to love God and your partner more. This is beautiful.
When we decide to make God the foundation of our homes and marriages everything falls in place. Nice one!
We should always acknowledge God in all we do..
So many marriages would have being apart.
Also Love Honesty Respect and Patience also helps to spice things up
Any spouse that loves god, would leave a God fearing life that would as well manifest in their marriage. Mum I love this, atleast this would keep so many people in marriage. God is love and love is God.
THIS IS A REAL GEM OF ADVICE COMING FROM A MAN OF GOD. WE SHOULD LISTEN TO GOD, AVOID DOING ANYTHING THAT HURTS HIM SUCH AS SIN, SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIM IN PRAYER AND WORSHIP AND DEVOTE OUR LIVES TO HIM. WE SHOULD ALSO FIND TIME TO LISTEN TO HIM AND AVOID DOING THE TALKING AT ALL TIMES. WE SHOULD LEARN TO PRAISE AND THANK HIM AND NOT ALWAYS COMPLAINING AND WHINING ABOUT HIS LOVE.
loving our spouse is just like loving God. he deserves all our time, attention, praise and commitment at all times. if we feel we can be unfaithful and bad towards our spouse, how much more the almighty God who has created us and loved us. we should learn that God is real to us and treat him better than we do our spouse and loved ones. he is the omnipotent and he deserves better than any human.
We should love God with our whole heart (in spirit and truth),because he is the reason for our existence.
Gods love is unlimited in our lives, we should know that God loves sinners but hates sin, we should always be committed. We should always appreciate the things he has done for us because if it were to be man we would pay for it. Wonderful post ma.
One thing I learnt from this post is to always express my love for God. I will join this wonderful couple in closing my prayers with these words, “I thank you and I love You Jesus”. We also show our love for God through our actions and not just words. We do this by making sure we do his will and trying to please him first in all we do.
This is wonderful ma. Loving God is the best thing that could ever happen to anybody. God is love and we all ought to know that. If we understand our commitment with God we can always learn to live in Peace with our spouse.
Great post ma. I love the relationship of the couple with God. It is important and necessary to love God in our everyday life. In everything we do we should always try to reciprocate God’s love.
I learnt that if we love God, it shouldn’t just be in our words, the real love expression is in our actions. If we love God, it’s just natural that we do what He says, spend quality time with Him in prayer and study of the word. God bless you Sir for this post.. It’s really lovely
INSIGHT #5 – We listen to God and do as He says if we really love Him. Besides, God knows better than we do and wants only the best for us. I love this point because it is a major problem. We are too busy to listen to God nowadays. I pray that I will be able to hear God and do as he says cause he knows what is best for me. God bless you ma.
When we have God as the foundation of our marriage it will never break. The closer we get to God the more we attract our opposite spouse spiritually and physically. The marriage grows and becomes stronger.
There’s a lot of wisdom in this post. Once God is the foundation of anything you are doing and you don’t use him as your spare tyre, he will bless you beyond comprehension.
Loving God is the best thing that can happen to anyone, it gives internal peace and rest of mind
True love is not driven by emotions or whatever it is driven by Agape love which is God kind of love, other kinds of love depend on your love for GOD
it is true we have to make God the author and finisher of our marriage and doing so will make our marriage last.
The real love expression should be in our actions. If we love God, it’s just natural that we do what He says, spend quality time with Him in prayer and study his word. This story is lovely…
We need to reciprocate God’s love by our behavior and character reflecting his nature because he loves us and would not be happy if we go through pains due to our disobedience towards his commandment. Because is not enough to say we love God but our character pertaining to God things would say if we really love God in return
A marriage that is built on the foundation of God for) God is love )…that marriage will stand the test of time .
This post gives insight of the love our father in heaven for us but we are not able to return the love the same way. We need to listen to GOD whenever he speaks to us like Paulsen did when his wife Christina advised him,when we heed God’s counsel, our lives turn out better.
what a wonderful post. We should learn to put God first in everything we do.
Now I understand why we are the bride to Jesus because we have a relationship with him like couples. Nice post
Nice post,this post is actually telling us so many things that we need to know about the love of our father, he builds our home for us because he knows the root to our happiness
Loving the Father is the first step to gaining salvation.
This article is one of the best of its kind.
We are found of begging God for this or that….this post encourages us to share our time with God in prayer and reading the bible.
God bless Kenneth Paulsen and the beloved owner of this blog.
This post talks about the love God has for us. It is necessary to love God just the way he loved us. It good for us to express God’s love and goodness in our lives.
Saying i love you to God is something i learnt early last year, its important to tell God how you feel about him and what he means to you.
Just as in a relationship with your partner, recall how a smiple ‘i love you’ from the one you love can get you wearing a smile all day long? Same also with God. Thank you for sharing ma, really helpful. God bless
God is love,it is expressed in so many ways and better still he loves us,me more than i can understand about him. love is enduring even in all my mistakes and inadequacies he still shows his mercy.
God’s love for us is undying and as children of God we should love God too. we should always build our lives in accordance with God’s words and everything will surly fall in place.
God’s love is wonderful and everlasting. We should always try to reciprocate God’s love towards us. God’s love can be shown in different ways.
Yes when I say, I love you Jesus my God, is to exercise my love for him. As children of God, all, we need to do is to show God love, also to our fellow humans, as Kenneth expressed how he loved Christina his wife!
We need to consciously love God and do everything we can to please him just like we do for our fellow humans and also tell him that we love him in act and words. I had a wonderful time on this post. Thanks for sharing
We as Christians should make it an obligation to reciprocate God’s love, we can do this by following all the things listed in the post above and also by showing love to the less privileged, the orphans and motherless babies even to our neighbors, also by obeying God’s commandments and doing his will singing praises to Him and staying away from sin
I never knew love with God and marriage could be relatable. But having seen this, I must say It is very impressive. This post has given insights on how to love God and also how to act in marriage which I’m sure will come handy in for me in the future
God’s love for mankind is so in abundant.one who is in a good relationship with God have nothing to lose, to build this relationship all we need to do is love him jealously and by serving no other God except him.
When we love, we are willing to spend quality time with such person,in same manner, we should be ever willing to spend time with God whether in the place of studying the word or in prayers. God please gran us the grace to always show how much we love you by our actions.
Wow, this is Beautiful, spending time with God becomes habitual when we first learn to love Him and not just do it because it’s a you feel it’s a routine you must follow as a Christian, simply put, the obedience problem is a love problem. When we love God we would find it easier to obey Him, wow.
Very good to tell God tenderly, as He tells us always, I love you. It engages the soul deeply in His love. this love will help us obey His words joyfully even when they’re hard.
Sometimes I caution my siblings especially when the have done things that are against God’s will by asking them to imagine being in God’s shoe. We only respect God when we are in need and then remind him we love him, but once our needs are met, we withdraw all of our love and trust and repect. God has feelings too!
We should try to live a life of love since God and creator is love and by living a live filled with love we are reciprocating God’s love
Spending quality time with God either in songs or prayer will become a thing of Joy when you love God
True love is not fleeting, it is enduring. Absolute truth!
True love is not fleeting, it is enduring. Absolute truth! We should reciprocate our love for God by commiting our lives to Him.
May God reward you abundantly for feeding us with words of wisdom.If we truly love God,we will strive with every endeavour to spend time with him .
“We want to look our best to those we love and make the effort to do so. We should do no less for God. Sin makes us look bad.” This made my day. Thank you so much for this.
God’s love is the best, there is this Joy when you are working with God. May I learn to love God like He loves me. Amen.
So much lesson from this post, we ought to love God because he always loved us
God’s love is boundless. He loves us so much and hence desires to relate with us always. As His children we have to keep communing with Him. Thank you so much Ma for this piece.
The fact that God is so smart and He genuinely loves us and has good thoughts toward us is enough reason for us to obey Him as a way of reciprocating His love for us.
Too much wisdom in this post. Young people should read this and learn from it
The love of God surpasses all things
We should learn to appreciate and reciprocate it
The scripture says that while we were yet sinners, Jesus came and died for us to reconcile us back to the Father and we that had been reconciled, He has given us the ministry of reconciliation. One thing is sure, there is no amount of love we can show to God that can be compared to the love He has for us. We love Him because He first loved us
Thanks to you Kenneth Paulsen. Am so much elevated in Christ.
These insights are mind bugling. A number of times, I wondered why my prayer life wasn’t constant and insight#3 has explained it always ” if I love God, spending time with him in prayer,songs and worship will become habitual” Lord help me to love you for who you are and not for the things I get from you . amen
Love is indeed the greatest of all,when we decide to make God the foundation of our homes and marriages everything works fine and peacefully family is acquired.