5 WAYS TO AVOID BEING EASILY OFFENDED

Intro:
It appears that getting offended has become the regular pastime of many people in today’s world. People are offended by any and everything. In May 2018, a white US teenager posted pictures taken on prom night in which she was seen wearing a traditional Chinese dress. This made many social media users angry. They accused her of “cultural appropriation”!

In June 2018, a Nigerian (the CEO of Ovation International Magazine), Dele Momodu, shared online a picture of himself and a vendor he described as his friend for 20 years and many people attacked him on social media for not changing the man’s status. In their view, if you are rich and your friend is poor, it’s your responsibility to make him rich. If you’re educated and your friend is not, it’s your duty to ensure he becomes educated too! None of these people expressing outrage saw the illogicality of their contentions. But Momodu addressed this in his responses to some of the comments on his post as shown in the link above. I did too in a post on my Facebook page, Aunty Edith, published about the same time.

It appears that there is no way to avoid getting people offended nowadays. If you’re happy and living well, they claim it means you are insensitive to those who are suffering; if you’re gloomy, they say you’re unthankful because many don’t have your blessings.

My aim in this post is to address you and I who are Christians, saved and living as ambassadors of Christ. We are not called to be that grouchy person, who’s forever picking faults and throwing stones at others. It may seem like the norm now: to rain on other people’s parades, to accuse them of every conceivable evil, but that shouldn’t be our preoccupation. So, how can we live in this digital age (in which the world has become a global village and people’s lives are so interconnected) without getting constantly offended?

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(Related: Child of God, Your Language On Social Media Matters!)
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5 Ways To Avoid Being Easily Offended

1. Embrace tolerance and give others the benefit of the doubt:
Do not think the worst of others. If you learn that a celebrity dressed gaily to what was supposed to be a sombre occasion, don’t make a mountain out of the faux pas and insist that they meant to disrespect the matter behind the occasion and all those who care about it. Such things can occur when someone has a busy schedule and his or her handlers make an oversight. They may have come from a more cheerful occasion which their stylist dressed them appropriately for and may have squeezed in the latter occasion without adequate information or time for a change of wardrobe.

This applies to other mouth-froth-inducing areas in today’s hate-filled climate like religion and politics. All of us can’t be of the same religious and political persuasion but that does not make everyone who differs from us a moron or a monster. In every religious and political camp, there are crackpots but there are also heroes who go above and beyond to do the right thing. But for the most part, there are regular Joes on all sides who sincerely want to see society get better and do their bit everyday to see that happen whether by being charitable to the next person or by paying their taxes and obeying the law. No one on this planet is perfect and none will think exactly like we do, so we just have to tolerate one another and acknowledge the good in others ’cause it is there if only we look.

We cannot all be of the same religious and political persuasion, so tolerance is a must. Click To Tweet

The problem today is that some of the most insistent advocates of tolerance are actually the most intolerant. Mainstream Western media have become notorious in this respect. Tolerance in their view means agreeing with them. They are pushing for uniformity of views and creating an atmosphere where people are afraid to honestly speak their minds for fear of being called hateful and bigoted. For example, if you do not endorse the LGBTQ lifestyle; do not denounce US president, Donald Trump, at every turn; believe in the Bible and prayer, you are hounded and scorned in much of the media.

(Picture credit: Negative Space on Pexels)

It makes no sense to demonise everyone in a different religious and political camp. Is variety no longer the spice of life? I’d rather open my eyes and learn valuable lessons from the virtues of others. Does that mean we condone what we feel is wrong? No, as long as we realise that we’re talking about these wrongs in the lives of people made in the image of God and go easy on the dismissive and contemptuous tone. Crassitude does not become a believer!

2.Set your priorities right: What are you passionate about? What are the things that make you lose sleep at night? Are there particular and significant things that make you lose your cool or is every petty thing your concern? Jesus got angry at those who turned the temple into a market. He upbraided the Pharisees and teachers of the law who preached one thing but did something else and made service to God burdensome through their hard-hearted interpretation of Scripture. These are issues worth a reprimand.

“1. Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, 2. Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat: 3. All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not. 4. For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.” – Matthew 23:1-4

Get close to God and He will burden your heart with matters of eternal value so that you don’t join the company of those who waste their time finding out how celebrities spend their every penny or some such triviality and bitching about it.

Related  THERE IS A FRIEND (POEM)

Political correctness is not a heavenly agenda. It’s a media and culture thing. While some of the issues involved like racism and sexism need to be dealt with, the interpretations they are given are often ridiculous. People now walk on eggshells and even jokes that can only be seen as insensitive by a long stretch are quickly labelled racist or sexist and the sources pummeled from all quarters.

Political correctness is not a heavenly agenda. It's a media and culture thing. Click To Tweet

The media (both mainstream and social) tend to create a bandwagon effect. Once a criticism catches on, everyone wants to weigh in. Ask yourself how much that issue matters to you? If you’ve set your priorities right, you’ll not be sucked into the rash of issues and persons the media are picking on, especially since after all the fuss, it’s often found that the media were misinformed and those accused did nothing wrong. (This is not to excuse the mainstream media which, in pushing predetermined agenda, fail to verify stories before running them. The social media, on their part, are fertile grounds for lies and fabrications.)

Remember the case of the teens from Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky who were vilified and threatened along with their families and school for “harassing” an old Native American man who claimed to be “a Vietnam war veteran”; the hate crime Empire actor, Jussie Smollet, reported was committed against him and the purported Russian government collusion in the 2016 US presidential elections.

The credibility of the US mainstream media is in tatters. They go from hoax to hoax, giving credence to Trump’s allegation that they are awash with fake news. The situation in Nigeria where news reporting is often reduced to the peddling of sometimes unfounded accusations between politicians and celebrities isn’t much better. Ethical violations abound in the Nigerian media, especially the online segment.

So think about it: Do you really want to spend your time, energy and resources ranting and acting on matters that are hyped by discredited media, matters that may eventually turn out to be non-issues? No, I think you can do better than that.

US mainstream media go from hoax to hoax, owning Trump's label of fake news. Click To Tweet

3. Steep yourself in the word of God: The word of God teaches us about grace and meekness, two sure cures for the easily offended. It teaches us about Moses, Jesus and others, who had divinely-ordained ministries but were constantly opposed and harangued by those who thought they knew better what and how they should be engaged. They bore the harassments and responded with grace except when the offenders crossed a dangerous threshold as in the case of Korah, Dathan and Abiram in the book of Numbers, chapters 16. Note that they sparked a rebellion and spurned Moses’ efforts at conciliation. The prophet Isaiah said the following of Jesus, the Messiah, and we don’t reflect His nature when we constantly rail against others.

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.” – Isaiah 53:7

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(Related: Grace And The Golden Rule)
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Another benefit we get from being soaked in the word of God is that it ignites more sorrow and concern in us about things that are going wrong and those responsible than anger. As a result, it pushes us to prayer rather than to a public display of emotions which may be self-aggrandising instead of utilitarian. Paul’s attitude towards sin in the Body of Christ is instructive here:

“When someone is weak, then I feel weak too; when someone is led into sin, I am filled with distress.” – 2 Corinthians 11:29 (GNT)

4. Get over yourself: Is it really your place to be the fashion, language and etiquette police for everyone else? What makes you think your views matter so much or that they are superior to those of others? I’m talking about your idiosyncracies and culture, not Scriptural commands. Most times, it is more beneficial to observe and learn rather than getting involved in everything and rushing to judgment.

And we are called to love, not to sit in judgment and make matters worse for those concerned.

“1. Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” – Matthew 7:1-2

There are occasions when a video of some seconds surfaces online and people condemn those seen it and call for mass action against them like the boycotting of their businesses without waiting to hear the whole story and know the context of what they saw. They serve as jury and judge and begin to execute punishment on seconds of footage which its interpretation often dramatically changes when a longer video of the event appears as in the Covington school boys’ matter referred to earlier. Or they hear one side of a story and call for heads to roll. Remembering that we make mistakes too, that we offend others and err in many ways should deliver us from such rashness and superciliousness.

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(Related: Judge Not …: A Creative Narration Of A Bible Story by Joleisa)
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Related  BLEEDING HEART (POEM)

5. Spend little time on social media: The social media have become the haunts of millions who seem to have time on their hands and seek to inflict as much pain as possible on others. Some have suggested that these people don’t feel very good about themselves and that, in a morbid way, making others hurt or cry gives them some satisfaction. From time to time, celebrities, who have huge followings, decide to take down some of their social media accounts due to the unbelievably cruel comments and messages they receive which manage to outweigh the goodwill coming in, especially at trying times.

No one needs that level of negativity thrown at them frequently. And when we spend an inordinate amount of time on social media, we suffer the same oppression the receivers of these highly toxic messages do. Brutalisation engenders a hardening process. In time, we would likely be desensitised to the harmful messages to the point that we not only see them as normal, we begin to dish them out as well.

If you still flinch at the callousness displayed on social media, thank God. And to keep it that way, stay on social media only as long as you need to stay connected and current. Don’t dive into every fray therein, don’t soak in the poison lest you begin to spew it out before long.

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(Related: Spread Some Gladness Today)
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Conclusion:
Some people irked by the unrelenting pricks from the ever-offended often tell them to get a life. Those addressed usually consider this an insult but I beg to differ. It is very good advice. Each of us should get a life outside the media, a real life, that helps us to put things in proper perspective. And the best life is that lived in God through Christ Jesus.

Everything changes when the Lord Jesus takes over the saddle of your life. You will understand what the Bible means by we are in the world but we are not of the world (Philippians 3:20) and the love of God which is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost (Romans 5:5) covers a multitude of sins or offences, if you like (1 Peter 4:8).

Love, grace and meekness in a believer raise him or her above getting easily offended. Click To Tweet

If you have not yet done so and want to receive Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, please pray this short prayer:

PRAYER FOR SALVATION
Almighty God, I repent of my sins and ask You to forgive me. I receive the work Jesus did for me by shedding His blood for my sins. Write my name in the Lamb’s Book of Life and send Your Spirit to live in my heart and teach me Your word. I receive the grace to live a life that honours You henceforth in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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Now you are born again. Join a Bible-believing group of Christians to help you learn, through studying the word of God and prayer, how to practise your faith and live victoriously in Christ. You are blessed in Jesus’ name.
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The scriptures in this post are from the King James Version of the Holy Bible except where otherwise stated.
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Good News Translation (GNT) The Holy Bible Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society

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I am a university lecturer. I teach Mass Communication, mostly writing courses like Feature and Interpretative Writing, Magazine Article Writing and News Writing, and let’s just say I’ve been doing this for a long time. As you have probably guessed, I am a born-again Christian.

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233 thoughts on “5 WAYS TO AVOID BEING EASILY OFFENDED

  1. From reading this writeup, I can conclude that to live with joy is a decision.
    The 5 points listed are necessary to attain peace and joy.
    I think no_1 triggers the main message: tolerance is the mother of all the points. I understand that at times we are the cause of some unrest happening around us.. Investing too much of our time in negative activities, mostly criticising fellow individuals.
    Moreover no_3 is a point not to be left out: the word of God is full of wisdom, and to me I see the word as love which we should embrace with a heart free from hate. May God help us..

  2. The point that we always see something wrong with what someone else does or what that person didn’t do is because we do not have that life of God in us .I know that the life of God in us brings out in us love for our fellow human beings. We should also learn to keep off from social media hate speech because it does not reflect the life of God. I have a Question, what should we do about what we see in news stories?

    • It depends on what it is. Some stories require nothing from us, some require prayer, comment or action. But before we blame anyone or say and do anything negative about them, we must verify the story over and over and still tread with caution. Always put yourself in the shoes of the person at the receiving end and get God’s go-ahead if you want to do something serious about any story. I hope this helps. Have a great day, Ifunanya!

  3. Personally, I figured the way to not get angry about everything I hear or see is to ignore it. I have learnt not to react to everything because not everything requires my energy, some things are just time wasters. Social media can be quite deceiving, intimidating and still educative, so I have learnt to allocate my energy to the educative stuff and stay away from the drama.

  4. Edith, you are so right! People think that they have the right to never be offended by anything…ever! And I have to admit that I have, at times, expressed offense or indignation over things that were small and petty. The truth is that we’re all guilty. One thing that has helped me tremendously lately is the acronym T.H.I.N.K. It stands for True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind. If I can honestly answer that what I’m about to say (or type) meets these criteria, then I go ahead. But if not, it’s better to keep my mouth shut (or my fingers still).

    • Love the T.H.I.N.K criteria you talked about, Erin. Following it will certainly keep us gracious. May the Lord help us to represent Him as we should wherever we find ourselves in Jesus’ name.

  5. All these points are really sure ways to avoid being easily upset but the one that caught my heart was the third one, which is steeping in the word of God. The Bible said that God is love, to seek the word of God is to seek God, to seek God is to seek love which overcomes all. With love anger is kept at far distance.

  6. “All of us can’t be of the same religious and political persuasion but that does not make everyone who differs from us a moron or a monster” .
    This is really very important, because nowadays people tend to judge others with the way they appear, worship and do other stuffs, that shouldn’t be so.because he or she doesn’t dress and behave the way you do doesn’t give you the reason to write them off!. Thank you, Ma, for these wonderful reasons why we should not get easily offended.

  7. Most importantly, steep yourself in the word of God. Christ’s presence fills every hollow point. We are dead to everything and Christ lives so it shouldn’t be a threat to us, nothing at all should be a threat.

  8. I believe that one reason why some people get so readily offended is that that they don’t stop to think about why they’re really getting angry. Some of the issues they pick offence on don’t even concern them in the first place!! They just like the sound of their own thoughts being voiced out, or, in the case of social media, being written down. Another reason is an unfortunate lack of open mindedness to accept that everyone simply can’t have the same views and outlook as them, hence the judgement. There’s nothing wrong with having strong personal opinions, but we should also learn to tolerate those who don’t agree with us.
    I pray that God gives his children the grace to leave all judgement to Him and also the grace to tolerate our fellow human beings.

    • Leaving all judgment to God? Read carefully the related post on “Jedge Not …” that I added for a bit of context on thos or check out my blog post: “Myself, the Judge!” You sre lifted in Jesus’ name.

  9. I think this boils down to what is said about not being able to please everybody. Man becomes lost and a non entity when he embarks on that journey to please others. For me, it is always cool as long as my conscience is clear and I know I have my validation from God. Life is easier that way.

  10. I have learnt not to get myself involved in these things because i know what i can say or react to and most times people post things to get others upset. The best thing we should do is stay away
    posts that can trigger offence.

  11. “Don’t allow the media to whip you over a frenzy over anything” that settles everything. We should set our priorities right and learn to mind our business. Not every question deserves an answer. In all, Let Love Lead. Bless you ma.

  12. I like d aspect of d social media.. This period u cannot kill yourself for one person like tha. Your happiness comes first

  13. I believe people get easily offended because they are frustrated with life and so will transfer their anger to others in order to feel good with themselves. This is however a wrong thing to do. I believe with the steps used in the post people will begin to tolerate one another. Nice writeup ma.

  14. This message came the point I needed it in my life. Thank you soooo much Mummy. You remain a blessing every time.

  15. I agree with you ma’am, whatever story one hears online, we should remember that there are always two sides to every coin and we should also learn to mind the way we react to whatever we see or hear, who knows, it could come back to get at you.

  16. Hmm. In an age where everyone wants to be a Savage on social media, be the trending account, without cognizance of the others’ feelings, Netiquette is advised. For me, I have this understanding that if I am angered by people, I have traded my peace for nothing. I overlook and smile at whatever is thrown at me; no one is worth my anger I say.
    *Most times, it is more beneficial to observe and learn rather than getting involved in everything and rushing to judgment”- I love this Aunty. However, as you rightly said, we can’t do it on our own without the Holy Spirit. Thank you.

  17. This is really a mind opener, MA. For those who don’t “have a life” outside the social media. It points out the signs and some consequences of their actions on social media especially for those that are not passive. And it also serves as a precaution for those about to fall into the habit of living only on social media. Well done, ma!

  18. This is such a wonderful post ma’am. With these steps I’m sure one would rarely get annoyed, especially with things of this world or matters that are not their concern. If everyone minded their business, life would be much easier and we would have no reason to get annoyed. Thank you for sharing aunty. Really, it’s such a thoughtful post

  19. Honestly social media is one thing dat is trying to destroy the life of many. i am also an addict of social media but after reading this lovely message i think i have to reduce the time i spend on social media and give most of my time to God because social media is not adding much good to my life.
    Thank you, ma!!

  20. Very nice write-up ma, I think the world has to see this, cos in our present society the rate of discrimination, and bad mouthing people is now much. No one is left behind, celebrities, politicians, and even individual persons. I was in bus going to enugu one faithful day, and it happened that an Hausa man kept his bag at the seat at my front, and then one igbo guy came and was like who dropped this stuff, when he was told it was an Hausa man,he was like ” is that a human being” and threw the guy’s bag away… I’m igbo but I really felt for the Hausa man, like things shouldn’t be done this way, we are brothers irrespective of our religious or cultural differences .

  21. Well said Ma’am. A word is enough for the wise. What you said is clearly what’s happening on social media and other platforms for self -expression. May God give us grace to learn and practice caution in correcting others.

  22. Some people get offended easily as a result of frustration to the extent that they are always prone to finding faults in what others do and in what they have failed to do, In such a situation this write up has recommended that we “steep ourselves in the word of God”, that once we are rooted in God he will fill us with his grace and meekness towards one another and as well ignite that fire of love in us . We should always try to tolerate and accommodate others and not frequently pointing out their weaknesses because some people find it difficult to see anything good in their fellow human beings.
    Well done Ma .

  23. People get angry easily for the fact that they want you to think and behave the way they do But that’s impossible, we are all different, sometimes people go extra mile to take paracetamol for another persons headache in the name of” Savage “some say sh*t about people because others condemed them just to follow trend. Tnk u Ma I trust social media… who know go know simple!

  24. So inspiring ma! Indeed the best way to avoid being angry is steeping to the word of God. Because the word of God contains soft and fluffy words that can calm down any burning rage at a sight. So I urge us(believers) to always acquaint ourselves with the word to get eternal rest for our mind and soul. Ma, more grace for more wonderful piece.

  25. The first point really got my attention because I am a believer of giving everyone the benefit of a doubt. Don’t just judge someone based on their reaction at one time or the other. You might have met the person at the wrong time and their attitude would have been different in another circumstance.

  26. These five points are really what we need to avoid being easily offended. We should learn to mind our business especially on any issue that doesn’t add value to us. Embrace tolerance and give people the benefit of doubt is indeed a good point to consider, we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Thank you, Ma, for your words of encouragement and for always bringing us closer to our Maker through your blog…

  27. “Set your priorities right” this was actually directed to me and I think have taken my correction. Nice write up Ma.

  28. so true Edith, it happens all the time..you brought out the right focus wonderfully..hit at the point..I love what you said, the real life is outside..in Christ..so many are wrapped up in social media and the world of the social stars..and they think that is the real life..it is not.powerful powerful!

  29. Most people suffer from getting offended easily, well done ma for this write up, it basically teaches people to avoid being easily offended. we should put this to practice and always involve God in our daily activities. Setting our priorities right is definitely, a good point. Well done ma.

  30. Aunty after reading this your article I now have ways of eliminating anger .. I use music to avoid my anger when I get offended or I just take it as a joke or laugh forget it . But with this piece of advice if I should say I will be able to work towards eliminating my anger issues… Thank you Aunty ….. Obrigado

  31. This post is very educating. One of the most difficult things to do in this life is to please everyone.. We all should bear in mind that we can’t please everyone. We should just do our best and leave the rest to God.

  32. It is so disheartening to see how people believe any slightest rumour . They judge people even when they are worst. Christians should not follow this trend because God said it is not for us to judge. This write-up is a must see for everybody especially for our youths who are always on there phone so that they will not be led astray

    • Personally I’ve allowed myself get angry over little and petty things..although sometimes I try to ignore or I listen to music instead,but I think I’d try the methods you listed above….
      At the end,we all need grace to overcome a lot of things

  33. Heavens! this is just the right message for this generation.and a name has been given to it called ‘savagery’ people talking without caring about the feelings of others, understanding and respecting the differences in others have been traded for wanting you to be what they want, and everyday, our youths most especially, are swimming in this ocean of insensitivity and funny enough, its getting worst each passing day. i pray God fills that void, or whatever it is that makes us so sad, so we can see the happy part of life.

  34. most times, when people do or say things in such a way as to get me angry or offended, I try to avert the anger by also offending them too, that way, they will end up being angry while I smile within. that has been my weapon for a very long time now, but I hope to put the guidelines in this post into practice from now. thank you ma for this, I have been blessed by it.

  35. Getting over yourself and admitting others opinions give you better chances of learning new things.
    Also, tolerance is highly needed in our society especially now social Media tend to form what we think and do.

  36. Social media has got most people breaching common morals too. It’s not our place to judge or try to force our ideas on others but it would be a big omission to not learn important lessons from the realities on the media. Focus on your priorities and use the media in the favor of them. Your writings Madam are large mines of knowledge.

  37. Life is a university on it own..
    Where am i dry inc at? Sometimes in a mans life u must understand it that not all will love or like who you are..
    But that should bother you…?..it is there business..
    The media have become a platform being utilized by rumour mongers to gossip… but dont offended.. See it as a promoting

  38. Socal media has made a lot of people forget that there is a reality, if we keep taking to heart what people think about us or there judgemental statements towards we will miss the bus. Only positive things should have effect on us, no room for negativity!

  39. This would be able to guide us in our daily life but one thing is that we must get offended by what people say or do to us but let us always fix things and leave everything behind

  40. This used to be one of my favourite quotes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words would never hurt me”. It kept me going and I think every one in this generation today would need to recite that quote everyday because, to an extent,people are titled to their opinions,the result is mostly based on one’s reaction to those opinions.
    However,as much as we individually try to understand that externally opinions don’t matter, we should also try to curb and control the things we say.
    Thank u ma for making everything easier for us,the tips are wonderful and heavenly filled. It would help us go a long way. Cheers

  41. Ma, sometimes getting angry can not be helped. In our society today, everyone post about their lives and activities on various social media platforms without thinking twice about the repercussions. Like there is no privacy at all. When you broadcast your life to the publics, people will surely talk, no matter what you do . Thank you ma, for these guide lines. We really need to stop getting all worked up over what people post or say to us.

  42. I think anger is in one’s temperament which can only be controlled by the Holy Spirit, if the Spirit of God is in a person it can only dictate the persons conduct. Reading these five steps will help someone who has completely made the resolution to attain peace in life. Nice post Ma’am.

  43. Am the type that always keep things to heart, when am been offended… I will wait and plan on how to pay that person back in a way that wim the person will never forget and I will be very happy whenever I remember it..

    The funny thing is that after everything I will now be feeling very bad within my self…. And I will be too proud to go and ask for forgiveness

    But with this advice… I will work on myself…
    I will give you a feedback very soon MA, on how it have really helped my life…
    Am blessed with this advice MA… Thank you for it….

  44. Thank you ma for taking your time to post these (therapeutic) ways of avoiding being easi&ly offended. I see tolerance as the summery of all. When one is able to tolerate other people, realizing that everyone can never be the same, am sure one can not be easily offended. It may seem too hard to tolerate some times, but one ha to ask for the grace from God. we

  45. I could remember the popular saying of many that if you are not smoking, don’t have a girl friend, and don’t drink alcohol, that person can’t be happy, each time such a thing was said my mind will go straight to my brother, who don’t do any of this but he is always happy, then I realized what you said in number 3 which is getting attached with word of God or dweling in his presence, anyone did so will not be provoked easily and will always be happy

  46. Most people are like that.Very quick to judgements every now and then….
    I believe in one thing “everyone mustn’t agree with you “.I have come to discover that most people have so much hatred for the truth.
    Well what people think about and say about you doesn’t matter but the truth you know matters very much.
    A lot of persons from this mentality of “what will they say” have fallen victims of a handful of their harmful predicaments .
    Please always know your right from your left….

  47. Giving others the benefit of doubt and spending less time on social media are the most important points to me, if people can spend more time in the real world they’d realise people aren’t all they claim to be while some have more to them than they appear to be, if we’d only get to know them instead of judge them.

  48. Indeed ma this ways can stop one from being angry if practised, it will also help one in building a good relationship with people as well build ones spiritual life and attain great height.

    • Indeed when one is in Christ not any little thing gets you offended because you are too busy doing the will of God and so do not have time to pay mind to certain things. God will help us…thank you ma

  49. You must not comment on everything you see, nice one ma, this is really helpful. The above listed measures are essential. Thank you. No call for unnecessary anger

  50. It is a pity that social media that was meant to save us are in the other way round killing us. The emergence of social media can arguably be said to do more harm than good in that two people can be discussing on social media and within a minute it is already on air, and people who don’t even know what exactly that is happening may pick it up and become mean about the issue, just like what happen during the inversion of Ebola and its acclaimed salt as its remedy, and all this are happening like this because almost everybody now is a broadcaster which you can do even in your toilet room and since most of people are using it as a source of income, just imaging what they will do to make their news sales.
    As for the solution proffer above by our own Edith Ohaja, you hit the right place, especially the first one: Embracing of Tolerance, though it is not an easy thing, but it is the right word, Tolerance makes room for unity instead of uniformity, it keep a city state in political serenity and even more it make rooms for other people. I believe that when all these points are imbibed in us, it will reduce drastically the tendency of us picking offense about thing. Aunty Edith…… keep it up

  51. Very true ma,no matter how much you try certain people will always get you offended we need the holy spirit to guide us.Nice write up ma

  52. Enticing I must say. It is with profound gratitude in my heart I say thank you ma’am for adding more to my values and ethics. A man is a fruit of his thoughts, words, and action. The first one though a hard one clearly elucidates the fact that man is a social being and for the true existence of that sociality of man, there must be tolerance accommodated in the room of reasoning, if not we’ll keep butchering ourselves both with words like rams. Social media which was meant to be a good milieu for pleasant interaction and get togethers is now becoming a room for many types of unspeakable and repugnant character display. Many people just void themselves of the word ETHICS when they are on social media. Well God help us all. Thanks for that wonderful one Ma

  53. I think this is an important topic, people are no longer free to express themselves, when they do,it is either considered as being racist or a hate speech. I pray we learn not to consider ourselves too important and understand that are words can actually hurt others. Amen

  54. Yeah, most times people feel they must have a say on every matter even when it’s not necessary. Tolerance like you mentioned in the 5 ways, I believe once we’re able to overlook most things that people say because people will always talk, we will hardly be offended.

  55. This post should be read by everyone especially those who are constantly online. In this digital age where a lot of keyboard warriors do not think properly before constructing ill messages that hurt people’s feelings, we have to learn to look the other way as two wrongs do not make a right.

  56. Wow! Ma, you nailed it! In summary, getting a life outside of social media not only reduces chances of being offended, but, it gives one a sense of fulfillment. There’s nothing more fulfilling than knowing you have something doing outside of social media, you have people you see not the virtual ones online.

    While keeping away from social media may not be totally possible, I try as much as possible to avoid bad news and negativity online. Hopefully, people will take these points to heart. Thank you Ma.

  57. Thanks ma for this piece atleast I have learn some ways to avoid being offended , by not spending too much time online and mostly reading my companion ”the Bible” . But most people online can be so annoying posting pictures and asking you useless question , that is boring .

  58. Very true and correct.
    The whole points given are really true.
    I wish some person’s will just subscribe to this blog so that they will know some truth about things and life also.
    The point number 3 got me going.
    I tell you; there’s nothing better than feeding your soul with the word of God. He alone has the power to make you forget who has hurt you by word, by actions, e.t.c.
    Step number 5 is very important, caus most of us won’t like to be left out on trending things in our different accounts on social media like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, e.t.c. It is very important that we believe little from the net. Like I saw on net were they said that the wife of Bishop David Oyedepo is dead but that’s a lie. So we don’t have to believe to much on media.
    Thank you ma’am God bless you.

  59. I remember when little things piss me off.there was always something to be angry about but thank God its all over now.I just smile and remind myself that I’m too pretty to be filled with anger.I got my priorities right and made conscious efforts to avoid being offended

  60. Being around lots of people daily will surely result to you getting angry and personally i don’t like to act out of anger, rather i walk out of there entirely or I’ll regret my actions later. I used to be very angry while growing up but by God’s grace, he has made things better for me.

  61. If only our generation can face reality rather than social media,things won’t be like this.no matter how good or bad you’re,people will still find fault in what you do.so the best thing is do your best and leave what people say because if you listen to them ,you will end up being offended all the time.

  62. Truly, we are called to love,not to condemn others. Because Christ is love, we should try as much as possible to love others and not to pass judgement on them. Social media have not only come to stay but to destroy lives,so, we shouldn’t make out mountain from a molehill on any issue we see on media because we will end up condeming others who are already involved in the matter. This is a nice piece ma! Thanks for showing us those five steps to avoid getting offended easily. It’s really helpful.

  63. This all true and perfect but the most important of all we all must priortize is our relationship with God very important to us … If we do dat we end up doing his will and he will help us abstain from this (getting offended easily )

  64. Indeed the social media has taken another angle as the avenue for savages and people who lack the discipline of politeness. Being tolerant is also another way that works for me. When you understand the fact that everyone can never be the same and that hurts are bound to happen you become more immune to it. Above all, the radiating love from God is also very essential in avoiding being easily offended.

  65. Nna eeh this social media we dey no be here ooh. Hate is infectious and can be spread instead of love. Inasmuch as we try hard to avoid being offended, even by our avoidance, they must still find a way to offend you. The only solution is not to allow what they say to get to you. You don’t have to reply hate with hate. There’s more to write on this but the limited space will not allow me.

  66. The crux of the matter still remains that there are always two things involved if one must prevent being driven bananas by others .. first ,have a good relationship with your maker –that helps you have a very clear head at all times ,and secondly ,just learn to let some issues slide

  67. This is really nice, people have different ways to avoid being easily offended, but I personally avoid this by minding my own business, keep my distance & walk away from fake news and all sorts, and I do not know what others gain in talking bad about someone else its inappropriate to talk about others personal affairs without knowing their motive for doing what they did. Thank you for this write up ma.

  68. I have learnt that people will always offend you. But this has helped me to better avoid or ignore them I love my peace

  69. most important thing about offence is how you handle it , dealing with something that touches the you is very hard ,but this guardline has at least helped me sort out how I will handle any offense.

  70. This is a very interesting and educative one ma……Tolerance is very very compulsory because, we all are human beings, with individual differences. I believe that if we all will practise these five keys, it will not be hard to understand each other, and this will also bring about strong LOVE. Above all, learn to value others.

  71. This list is very helpful. If only people can read it and apply it to their lives, the act of getting angry at all times will dwindle. Because, no matter what you do, people would always want to make hurtful comments about you. It’s just in their blood but you can ignore them by at least trying some of this steps.

  72. The truth remains that no matter how you try be good to every body, there are also people that there is nothing you do that can please them. In as much as people are different, we must also try to tolerate people, learn how to cope with people and most importantly, have the fear of God because definitely you must encounter behaviours contrary to yours and allowing it to weary you is not encouraging at all

  73. I think God has blessed man with the awesome power to choose what to pay attention to. If we train ourselves to pay attention only to the things that brings us joy, we will have no reason to feel sad.
    Forgiveness is also a way of saying, i want to lock the door of my happiness. I am not encouraging offences but of course, human race can not continue without offences. To live a free life demands that we choose not to feel offended even when we have been offended.

    A nice piece you have here Dr.

  74. Thank you ma for this tips. They are important to live a life void of anger or hurt. I would also want to add the key element ‘love’ which makes things a lot easier. When you love your neighbour as yourself just as the bible says then you can stay without being easily offended.

  75. Very true ma. Those five points are very tangible in any human of integrity’s life. I do the benefit of the doubt one a lot and it has helped me get away from insults and embarrassment. Secondly, I tell myself ,this doesn’t have any right over my happiness and so I walk away without uttering anything. Thank you ma. I hope we all learn from this.

  76. Thank you ma, for this kind of write up because most people don’t know how to relate with others they get angry over every little thing, but with the help of this piece and the help of his grace one can learn how to control his or herself over some things.

  77. It’s very good to come across this write up. Sometimes people are also easily offended because they are holding onto resentment.Holding onto resentments for things that happened in the past is a common reason for feeling mad at someone. Resentment is not healthy, and letting go of those feelings is the best way to move on. When someone remembers what you did to him or her in the past he would assume you deliberately repeated the action again.
    This is a good step to controlling one’s anger.

  78. For the Bible says that offence would surely come but woe if it comes from you
    This is a very good reason why we all must walk circumspectly so as to be spotless and blameless.
    When offences come it’s usually so difficult to handle them at that point in time since you’d likely be filled with fury and rage but taking rash decisions in time of anger would spoil a lot of things. Let things settle down and then you can point out your views.

    I don’t know but I feel some people make it so difficult to tolerate them as they keep repeating the same fault over and over but what shall I say even when Christ himself has admonished us to forgive no after how many times our neighbours offends us

    Tolerance is the key to living in such a society but the guide to doing this is the word of God
    May God’s word direct us daily!
    AMEN

  79. We could learn alot from this article, nice work! If i may, in the words of jerris- ” we should be able to share culture and dress in special design and style from across the world.” It shouldn’t be a problem if someone who isn’t your country man decides to wear your cultural attire, it should be a thing of joy.

  80. As humans you should known what is right and do it, because in as much as the life you live encompasses other people,you still have control of your life. Humans are insatiable so they tend to criticize whatever you do and that depicts individual differences. So, no matter what you do as an individual, you can never get to please everybody.

    • This is really educative ma!
      The way I respond when someone gets me upset is by doing worst to the person so that he or she will feel the pain more but this post has just impacted something positive in me.

  81. One thing am very in this life is that no matter how you’re, people will talk. You can’t please everybody. Some people transfer aggression that they already have on innocent people which is very bad. Another person shouldn’t suffer because of your anger.

  82. The social media has provided a platform where anyone is free to his opinion we’d have even bad mouth others. I think no one should make it his source of happiness ND everyone should mind their business

  83. When you learn how to control your anger, it goes a long way in repairing relationships with one another.

  84. The fact that we differ in ways and thoughts doesn’t draw a cruel line that those that do not concur to our own ways are irrational and monstrous and by so doing their actions are wrong. Nevertheless, I sincerely pray that God inputs in us his ever enduring spirit and accommodation so we will see reasons why people do what they do before castigating them, as “Christ Ambassadors” that we are.

  85. There would always be things that will make you feel bad most time in that aspect but the ability to control getting easily offended by giving more of your time to those things that will lift one spirit like the motivational aspect because the truth is that most individual are out to run down people with their mouth so one should be able to also ignore and move on with what you love doing

  86. Thanks Ma, for the Points. They are really practical. However, reacting to an example you gave about Momodu, though it is not like a rich man should carry the problems of his poor friend, but a rich man should able to help, in a reasonable way, a person he calls his friend. It is weird to behold a rich fellow and a poor Magazine Vendor as friends, for 20 YEARS. one may be compelled to ask what is the essence of the friendship?

  87. It is true that when you set your priorities right, you’d have little or no time for things that fake out of place from your priorities, we must not always comment on everything we see. This post is also a step to putting a stop to stereotype, when you have your priorities set and you understand tolerance, there would be no need for stereotyping.

  88. I totally agree with you on the fifth point on spending less time on social media because We live in a culture where everyone’s opinion, view, and assessment of situations and people spill across social media, a lot of it anonymously, much of it shaped by mindless meanness and ignorance.

  89. I agree well to all the 5 points listed here….but i must say no. 5 is where my own problem lies “”Social media”” i spend most of my free time on social media…instagram most especially…so when i see posts of people most especially my mates i feel sad n down…and it makes me feel like am wasting my life and i dont have a focus ,,also hateful comments get to me easily …which makes me offended, think less of my self and also make me worry over uneccassary things that dont count.

  90. Thank Goodness I finally found this post.
    Yes! This is indeed a disturbing issue.
    The media- social, local mainstream Western have unfortunately taken a mask of monstrosity. Lies are clad as truths, falsehood sold commonly, reputations killed and careers ended.
    Conservative Christian posts are flagrantly hoisted down by the lords of social media platforms.
    Half bit knowledge are used as a basis to dish out hatred on individuals.
    I’m really wondering what benefit is left to be derived from the media as it it today.
    And strangely, this issue is NOT getting the attention it deserves!
    It’s really difficult to maintain one’s sanity and cool in this type of environment.
    But yes, we should really get a life outside this space.

    Thank you for this!!

  91. Controlling our emotions and reactions is something we ought to master as adults, seeing that reasons to be annoyed especially on social media are increasing in their numbers daily. I agree completely with point 5 that says spending less time on these media because the less exposed someone is to avenues of annoyance the less the tendencies of them being angry

  92. It is true. Social media has made people forget how to have a peaceful mind. They get angry at everything they see on social media. Ma you are right about everything you said. People should be tolerant about things happening around them. It is also important to spend little time on social media so as to be able to avoid seeing things that can ignite anger. Nice piece ma

  93. I’m one to get angry easily, I get pissed off by the littlest of things people do.
    Reading this post has made me realize that sometimes, getting angry and giving people the reaction they want isn’t worth it.
    I’d definitely apply this to my life and give you progress report.

  94. Beautiful Post, an antidote to people out there struggling with temperament. A post that explores that with the word of God in one’s heart, anger will be at a minimal. A post that explores the dangers social media can have over oneself. A post that let’s one know tolerance is a very important key, a key that can avoid conflict and dispute.

  95. I think what we should understand is that We are all different and react differently to many things.
    You don’t expect everyone to think and act the same way you do. It’s natural. So what we should do is to get that in our mind when dealing with people so tha we will not feel bad about some people’s reaction to certain things. I think once we understand that we all are different in many ways, tolerance will be achieved.
    Thank you ma for this wonderful piece.

  96. This article is just awesome! Wish everyone would read through. I’ll comment by saying; Clarify your purpose. What is the ‘why’ behind everything you do? We have to understand this and we can be able to apply these.
    “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”
    Thanks, Aunty Edith.

  97. “Grace and meekness, two sure cures for the easily offended.” Thank God for the word. It teaches us to be like Jesus and it makes us realize how necessary it is to direct our anger to things that displease God; not by doing a public show of anger but by praying for those involved. In this world we live in, it is not easy to stay for a while without being easily offended but by God’s grace we can scale through. God bless you Ma.

  98. Thanks ma, for this beautiful work which i would rather tag as an advise not ways.
    one of the ways that was much of interest to me was the fifth one, which has to do with the social media,people dont know how to balance their time in the actual world and the world of the social media.

  99. thank you ma for the ways in which one can avoid being easily offended , i learnt something from the case of the ceo of ovation magazine, that the response you give to people will determine what they will reply or trigger you to be angry. but the man replied well. so one can also be a cause to himself

  100. People carry their problems about and look for whom to transfer aggression to. If u are insensitive to certain things, the criticism of the world can kill you. So pls, I think its necessary to be your own source of happiness at all time so as not to get easily affected.
    Also, it is pertinent we know what God says about us and not wat man is saying about us. People build their lives around certain impression the society fives them of who they are which is wrong. This will only make them unhappy.
    I also agree with what aunty Edith stated about finding your passion. It helps as doing what makes you happy keeps you so busy that you barely can’t think of being angry for so long a time.
    Finally, social media life is not always true. Most time, its a farce.so, comparing yourself to your friends there, can be something else.
    Thank you ma, this is a nice one.

  101. Everyone should really see this! Especially the one about spending little time on socual media. The outrage about little things there is concerning. Every one is so angry these days. Thank you ma.

  102. I guess at one point of my life i was a sadist. Hate everyone, criticized everything, always judging people like i was perfect. But an encounter with the holy spirit those things left hold of me. people see it as normal but its definitely not

  103. As humans, temptations and trials would always come our way to poke our temper/ anger management, it is left for us to always try to be calm and let the holy spirit manifest in us.
    Avoidance of occasions and most times, people who deliberately or unknowingly offend us is a good step.
    Avoid bad influences of social media.

  104. Oh, I love this, “get close to God and He will burden your heart with matters of eternal value”. There is no better way to avoid being easily offended than getting close to God. The closer a man is to God, the meeker and more tolerant He becomes. The closer a person is to God, the more God gives you responsibilities. These responsibilities make a man more focused so that he pays little or no attention to unnecessary factors that may lead to offence.

  105. The ability not to let others negative and offensive comments and views about you DEFINE who you’re is quite heroic. As long as we’re in a digitalized era, where every step you take can be known to peopel at the most underdeveloped place in my village, it’s certain people will talk, criticize negatively about one’s lifestyle.

    The emphasis on “Go get a life” caught me indeed. Quite informative. Nonetheless, it all falls down on the “Five ways to avoid being offended” and solidifying your uniqueness with God amidst their incessant comments. I’d try out those ways, but the spending little time on social will be difficult oo.

  106. These days people often get offended by the weirdest of things everyoe is always ready to jump on anyone they feel is not treating them rightly, this is actaully one of the faults of social media where people always through and reply jabs on the internet because of the wide platform that it is. Having God in our life would also be a good way to take it easy also when you walk with God and read yourBible you learn temprament and tolerance with this gift one wouldn’t be easily angered and wouldn’t be easily affected by what is said to them.

  107. Most people find it difficult to stay for a whole day without being angry but thank God for this piece today which is telling us to deep ourselves in the word of God and stay away from post or charts that will arouse the spirit of anger which will end up living us fustrated.

  108. We have to understand that people read somethings differently due to their different perspectives. Sometimes, the things we take offense to the person doesn’t even know it offends us and usually does not care, plus the tone with which we might have read it with could be different from what the person meant. We should try not to take the things we read especially on social media to heart

  109. Some people are short-tempered and react to things easily than others. So it is wise to avoid such kind of people,
    Even we ourselves should learn to curtail our emotion excesses that result to quick anger. the steps listed are really helpful to achieve this. so i advise everyone there to learn to control themselves and not react to everything seen on social media,

  110. The acceptance of the fact that one’s view is not always right will make people more tolerable to views and ideas of others and also help people avoid getting easily offended. Staying off social media can also protect one from bad energies that radiate there most times. Another way to avoid getting easily offended is being always invested in something meaningful and positive, this helps in reducing one’s susceptibility to getting angered easily.

  111. the last point also got to me specially
    the social media has become a yard stick that people use in measuring their lifes and when one looks and tink he is not up their with the lasted trends , they loss happiness and peace
    i was a victim to that
    bt when i meet God again ‘
    he openned my eyes and gave me peace

  112. We shouldn’t allow the media to whip us over a frenzy over anything” that settles everything. We should set our priorities right and learn to mind our business. Not every question deserves an answer. In all, Let Love Lead. Bless you ma.

  113. Mostly what I gathered here is that we have the key in our hands. We DECIDE if we want to get offended.

  114. All of us can’t be of the same religious and political persuasion but that does not make everyone who differs from us a moron or a monster. In every religious and political camp, there are crackpots but there are also heroes who go above and beyond to do the right thing.
    Look unto God every situation and he see us through.

  115. I stand with tolerance, I love that first point. The world is vast, and one is going to meet people of different traits, characters and behavior. The moment we realize this, the chance of getting offended will be at its barest minimum. Just set your your mindset that people are different and must not always see things the same way you see them, and it also doesn’t mean that they are stupid or foolish, but its just that we are different. So its better to learn to tolerate people and give them benefit of that, and it will make us to learn new things about new people with different characters.
    “All of us can’t be of the same religious and political persuasion but that does not make everyone who differs from us a moron or a monster….. ”
    The above quote from this post summarized and said it all.

  116. Embrace tolerance, get over yourself! I love these points. I won’t get worked up if I understand that the view of others will not always be the same as mine. I may not reduce my use of social media, but when I know that no one actually made me a judge over a matter, I will act and react with the greatest calm ever.

  117. A very revealing post. In the era of social media where anyone can hide under the veil of the internet to spill hate, posts like this should be written more often. Will definitely take one or two things from this one

  118. “Steep yourself in the word of God”
    The word of God modifies our character, it rebuilds the cells of positive actions, which is not of sinful nature but of self-control and meekness.
    Most times we face situations. Which Demands a reaction. Either as a cause of provocation, a remedy to that is to recite the word of God in our heart..by his grace we shall conquer that moment. By calming the heat of anger in our heart all is possible by God grace.Amen

  119. Steep yourself in the word of God”
    The word of God modifies our character, it rebuilds the cells of positive actions, which is not of sinful nature but of self-control and meekness.
    Most times we face situations. Which Demands a reaction. Either as a cause of provocation, a remedy to that is to recite the word of God in our heart..by his grace we shall conquer that moment. By calming the heat of anger in our heart all is possible by God grace. Amen

  120. This wouldn’t have been complete without “Spend less time on social media” (smiles). Social media has become the Lord and controller of people’s lives. I know I’m not a saint though. But i try my best to manage that, after all being moderate is key. I’m really enjoying this “5 lessons/ways” series as i will like to call it. Thank you Aunty Edith they are very helpful.

  121. The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.. getting a root to the word of God, dissolves anger.a level of maturity that will help us understand that people are entitled to their own opinions will go a long way to prevent anger.this writing is of good help,thank you ma.

  122. Unfortunately this is what we suffer this days… everyone is waiting to criticize. TOO BAD!!!.. They are waiting for a post to hate. This should not be, there shouldn’t be disgust in our heart for People. We on the other hand should try to calm ourselves down and find calmness in turbulent times with the grace of God!

  123. The word of God is a light unto our path with the word of God nothing can go wrong. It edifies our life. It hits our heart and gives us peace. The word of God covers all situations. I discovered that when am offended by something or what someone said I counter it with the word of God and I feel peace. It could be in form of hymns, worship songs or the Bible itself I thank God for the holy spirit. He is always there. The word of God is the perfect solution this post would be incomplete without it. May God bless you ma. Thank you for guiding your followers through the path of Christ

  124. Thank you Jesus, I ask for your grace to know that all of these are just vanity upon vanity, I refuse to be angry because of people way of living.

    Thanks mma and God bless you more.

  125. Those that are easily offended are those that are frustrated about life. In one way or another, they didn’t get that in which they desire or want in life. They are not happy within themselves and any little or minor thing upsets them. They tend to channel their frustration on anything. But with these guidelines and ways, am sure one will find happiness which he seeks especially Steeping yourself in the word of God which I believe is the ultimate of them all.

  126. Thank you ma for this post. Now I can avoid being offended with these five ways. The fourth way “getting over yourself” is my best way. Truly said it is not everything we should get involved with. We should observe and learn rather than getting involved in everything

  127. “The problem today is that some of the most insistent advocates of tolerance are actually the most intolerant.” This is true. I know of a friend who will always be that sweet motivational speaker, telling you how wrong it is to allow your anger make you act irrationally, how you should avoid anyone who offends you and things like that but woe betide you anytime you cross his path. This act we must thoroughly deal with before even encouraging others as aunty rightly pointed out.

  128. The society, social media and people in general have a way of seeping through the walls one might have built against trivial talk. People set absurd standards and lash out at any victim who doesn’t keep up to their standards. Perhaps the best way to avoid being angered by such trivial talks as Ms. Edith suggested is by giving them the benefit of the doubt and minding ones business.

  129. Those five points are good, especially, the number one of it. The best way to make sure that I am not easily offended is to always be happy with myself and to give less attention to what people say or do and not to attach unnecessary meaning to it.

  130. The five points are all amazing and very important to attain happiness.
    Tolerance is needed in our society, the ability to understand your fellow and see reasons with him/him is a big step in avoiding unnecessary annoyance.
    We all have different views and concepts of things, our ideas and reason may not be the same.
    This remind me of Oliver de coke Song titled Elebe Aghara; Nwanne na Nwanne na adi nmma Elebe Aghara, Obodo na ebi n Udo Elebe Aghara…..

  131. Criticism in social media is what we experience nowadays. Some people post nasty comments on people’s posts for no justifiable reason. This causes problem at times and such problems include damaging the image of that person which is bad. Another thing I’ve learnt from this post is that no matter how you are, people will always talk behind your back so my advice to the sensitive people is that they should learn to stop caring about what they say.

  132. Avoid reacting to everything you hear or see, avoid misjudgment no matter what, every human is special in their own way, also learn to react to everything with a heart of love, when love is the watch word of a man, he rarely get offended

  133. Thank you Ma for this post. Whenever I’m offended, I visit the word of God as you said, and it takes care of everything, it takes away the anger and gives me joy, to the extent that the offender begins to feel it, especially when the person offended you on purpose.

  134. Being too easily offended is a form of self-victimization. They blame how they feel on others. Whether they use the statement or not, their mindset is, “If this would happen (If you’d just do what I want you to do), then I’d be happy.” Even when someone does what the person wants, they aren’t really happy. They may feel self-satisfied—temporarily—when they get what they want, but that’s quite different from happy. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 ESV / 222 helpful votes
    “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” And also three small pills to cure what irritates you or makes you easily offended are: Don’t Be Offended By Anything You Can’t Change. 2 Stop looking for things to be offended by. 3. Give others the space to be themselves.

  135. Getting angry easily only fetches us regretting foolish actions we took due to anger. Just like you said, being meek and asking for grace from God will go a long way to help us overcome that spirit of anger.
    Also, since we all are living entities, we should know people must criticise you in one way or the other, we should learn to smile at criticisms and not be angry or over react about them.

  136. Every human being have feelings and in this present world where hate speeches abounds, it is only God that can give fortitude to bear offenses. Hence, the need to pray and study the word of God constantly. The word of God abhors we Christians from being quick to anger and habouring it in our hearts over a day. Therefore, as Christians, we should pray for the grace to be tolerant and endure when we are offended. It will also help if we take it on ourselves to correct and preach against hurting people especially in the social media which have become a platform of hate speeches. May God help us all!

  137. This are practical ways to stay off being easily offended. One problem is most people spend most of their time on social media. Most people comment and criticize because they see others doing same, following the crowd which is very wrong. We should follow Christ examples.

  138. God bless u ma! All these points are indeed sure ways to avoid being easily fed up, but the one that caught my attention the most was the third one, which is steeping in the word of God. The Bible made us to understand that God is love, to seek the word of God is to seek God, to seek God is to seek love which overcomes all. I so much believe that love conquers all things.

  139. Nice and thoughtful one ma, by the grace of God it is only by the help of Holy Spirit that help me control my emotions and attitude and help me build an excellent character.
    Honestly, before I gave my life to God I used to fight and I love looking for fault in people’s dressing, mannerisms name them.
    But now I consciously overlook the wrongs done to me… I don’t even have time to bare grudges or wrong not to talk of start finding faults in people…. I thank God for saving me ma… Typical Stanley Ezekiel was a fighter and fault finder but God delivered me hallelujah!

  140. This is my favorite message here. This message is really essential, we have so many challenges in the world and humans tend to increase our stress make us uncomfortable, knowing how to avoid such problems and not being offend is a key we all need to have. One has to build an excellent character. Thank you ma

  141. Wow this write up is indeed a notable lesson to the majority, most especially myself.
    Though, for man being selfish by nature, there will be no way to avoid being offended but then with the 5 points above, if put into practice like I have just started, it will go a long way to remedy the way we get jealous and being offended. Most of the times jealous leads to being upset. We should learn how to be contended with what we have no matter how little.
    Tolerance is one of the strong instrument of happiness that can change our orientation on how easily we get offended.
    Thanks ma, for this life changing lesson .

  142. personally, the way i control myself from getting offended by people is not taking things to seriously. i have come to a stage where i easily let go and forget hurtful acts of people towards me and i can attribute this to the grace of God because it can not be possible to have such spirit without the grace of God considering how mean people could be with their words. i am blessed by this piece ma’am.

  143. This post is highly referring to me in particular, but at least, the no 1 is really a good way to start in controlling my insignificant anger towards an issue that does not really matter. Equally the act of steeping oneself in the word of God will highly help one being in control of offensive words. And I usually stand with the local saying that “it is what one takes as being offensive is what really offends the person”, so be in control of your emotions.

  144. Thank you Ma for this insightful piece. Number 1 and 3 has been of great help to me. Tolerance helps me to overlook peoples shortcomings. The word of God is extremely wonderful, having answers to many issues.

  145. I really agree with the tips, cause I’ve tested some of them and it worked for me.
    But in all, I think self control is the key to avoid being offended, but you cannot achieve that without Christ.

  146. Step 2, will go a long way, in strengthening us in applying the other 4. God is the giver of grace, grace of love, kindness, meekness and happiness. His words have rescued a lot of souls from Condamnation. When I read about Ben Carson, I learnt One thing that it’s only God who will help solve any kind of our problem in life. The young Carson easily get irked, this has almost become a part of him, to the point that he was annoyed one day, while he was holding a pocket knife in his hand…… He quickly stabbed his friend to the stomach. But luckily, it was on his head belt that the knife hit. To him, this was d last he got irked and how he solved it is by running to God, reading his words, especially the ones in the book of Proverb.
    Others way listed here could help also. Thank you ma’am.

  147. Thank you ma for this inspirational post, it will help me alot because am the type that gets easily offended. Tolerance and self control is the best way to control anger issues. The fifth point is very essential spending less time on social media. Having a personal time with God reading the Bible and inspirational motivational texts than being on social media every time. God bless you ma.

  148. By virtue of being a human we are bound to be irritated for some times, but what is noticeable in our recent times especially with the coming in of the social media, is how people get easy agitated over what someone out there may be saying or posting in the persons way, which might not be pleasing to us…
    More example is the way people suddenly frown with such ideas politics and a politician and their behaviour;.. Abraham Lincoln, once Quoted, “behind every scoundrel, there is a hero, and behind every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader…
    In another sense he said” listen to all men, but filter all we hear, on a creed of truth and take only the good that comes through… we should learn to tolerate the habits of others and endeavor to accept the attitudes we can and ignore the ones that will offend us.
    I pray that God gives us understanding to do so.

  149. Special message for kings of social media savagery..Social media has its own special superpower which shouldn’t be abused in any way

  150. These are helpful ways to avoid being easily offended and the 5th one is so true. Reducing the time spent on social media will enable one not to get distracted or provoked by vile comments and savagery. Too much of social media will not only make you get offended easily, it could even plunge one into depression.

  151. In as much as it is important for us to be updated which we through subbing the Internet /media we should be very careful not to allow it set our agenda such that we think our whole life depends on it, rather we should let God set our agenda

    • we should be cautious of how much time we spend on social media. Reducing time spent on the social media will give us room not to be angered or mislead. Social media has a powerful power be warned.

  152. I totally agree with you ma especially the part where you said ‘we just have to tolerate one another and acknowledge the good in others ’cause it is there if only we look”
    Most individuals focus more on the bad or negative side of people and totally ignoring the good in others , forgetting that it affects you more when you focus on the negative side….

  153. Getting angry or easily offence, for me, i can say its just one mind set, some normally see their mind that every single minor and pretty things offset them. Thank so much for all this point and i believe if one gud to those point getting easily offence will a the g of the past especially the thing point which is steeping to the word of God and also setting your priority right. Also we dont have the swallow every thing, write up, post or whatever we have to pick and filter those use full and needed ones especially on social media because most post on social media are so annoying and Useless.

  154. The best way to not get angry is to learn the practice of ignorance. Ignoring insignificant matters and avoiding troublesome and tension filled environments.It is also important to note that people deal with their anger in many different ways, give room for expression…

  155. No man is not above conflict first of all we have to stand by our words A YES is A YES and A NO is A NO. We also have to know the type of person we are and we have to learn how to ignore something and spend less time on the social Media … Also letting someone know how you feel is also a good for someone to let go of been easily offended

  156. That’s right. Following these steps will surely help in absorbing the negativity that is all over the social media world.Everyone seems to have an opinion on everything and the worst part is that even if their opinions are true, they are always expressed in the most insulting and insensitive of ways. Everyone thinks they are right even if they are dead wrong.

  157. Thanks a lot for this. The ability to overlook certain things is something to emulate. Not everythingf should be taken seriously. some things are meant to be taken as jokes and everyone laughs it off at the end of the day. Overreacting can cause an ocean out of a little drop which is undewrrating.

  158. Sometimes when I see things on social media or I hear things, I just ignore them. I don’t get my self involve on unnecessary things because they don’t require my energy.
    Also we need God’s favour to do this. Some post can be annoying, so what I just do is to ignore them.
    Nice post ma.

  159. The fact that a whole lot of persons don’t just mind their businesses or desist from nosing into people’s affairs still baffle me. Indeed, to live such life to me seems living an purposeless life because purposeful persons won’t talk ill of others or try to critic people’s actions when they have bunches or truck loads of jobs to do to stick to their purpose. Yes, one can do these things for fun (if that is appropriate). But it does not in anyway make any sense. At all. Well, the five steps you listed are cool. People with such problems would find them helpful.

  160. It is never good to react to every impulses. Being Angry at any little thing is not Good, maturity is amongst other things the ability to ignore some things no matter how offensive they sound or appear. .Be that as it may, it also takes the grace of God to control one’s anger

  161. When I was younger, sometimes I get angry at myself for getting angry at silly things that don’t matter. But I’ve grown up now and I easily tolerate, I set my priorities right and I just limit my expectations in people to avoid getting hurt.
    But then, there some people that are just too annoying to tolerate.

  162. Been open minded and tolerant is indeed a great way to avoid being offended… If we take negative words to heart easily then we shall continue to be a slave to anger…. Let us learn to stay off things that brings negative vibes/energy to us…

  163. The first point really got me. A friend calls it;making excuses for others. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Just Maybe,whatever they did wasn’t what was intended.
    Above all, we ought to build a close relationship with the Holy Spirit who has the ability to both control and constrain us.
    With the help of the Holy Spirit, we have a better control over our emotions, no matter the level of hurt or offense from the outside.

  164. if one keep reacting to things seen on social media, he might suffer a heart attack soon. some things on social media are better left ignored. this is because some people tend to use the media to intimidate other people with their posts. Social media is just meant for the fun so anybody taking it too seriously should change.

  165. The most important thing we all should do is to be patient in everything we pass through and everywhere we go in life in order not to get angry, so the main thing is patience kills anger.

  166. I easily get offended, these ways has helped me especially the first way which is tolerance, I have tried my best to increase my tolerating rate. And it is really helping me. Thanks ma

  167. I’ve always found it difficult to control anger and stop getting easily provocated but lately I tried to control it by also trying to make sure I don’t expect everything to be rosy, relying on God always and always thinking deeply before every action.

  168. “No one on this planet is perfect and none will think exactly like we do”. If folks, especially Nigerians would understand this; learn to respect people in their differences and specialties, things would be a lot better. ‘Cause this has actually gone a long way to affecting the actions of some ignorant ones as they would want to act, dress, talk, walk and appear in the likeness and pleasing of everyone forgetting that it’s not possible.

  169. Getting offended easily is one thing everyone needs to fight because it could really lead someone to making mistakes . Tolerance can actually help us to achieve this. Thank you Ma for this wonderful post.

  170. “THE LOVE of GOD” frankly speaking you have the love of God in your heart, you won’t want to hurt another or make one get offended by your actions or words. That same love will also make you forgive those that have offended you just like Christ did. We are humans, with different characters but having God as the basis + love makes everything and every offence slide though it never easy being said but with God all things are possible and He’ll strength our weakness. Thanks so much ma. Love is the word I picked.

  171. Being offended in the first place is to allow yourself to be offended so avoiding them will do just the opposite. And this perfect post really shows how to really avoid being offended.

  172. I’ve really been enlightened by this post. But one thing I noticed is that no matter how hard you try, people will get offended. In my opinion, I’ll live a life that pleases God

  173. One of the reasons why I never really comment online, is the fear of being abused or attacked via other people’s comment. Also, think this post is educating and now I know, I don’t have to get myself all worked up over online contents. Thank you ma for sharing this.

  174. This is such a wonderful post ma’am. With these steps I’m sure one would rarely get annoyed, especially with things of this world or matters that are not their concern. If everyone minded their business, life would be much easier and we would have no reason to get annoyed. Thank you for sharing aunty. Really, it’s such a thoughtful post

  175. I think to avoid that, the key step is the number three (3) step @Steep yourself in the word of God. It will even give you the enablement to take other steps. Thank you Ma!

  176. It is indeed a beautiful thing when people learn to mind their business! A friend would always say he doesn’t blame Nigerians for being ‘angry by default’ all the time, hahahah.

  177. It is actually selfish for one to consider his/her opinion as valid and that of others as invalid! This is so because, just as you pointed out in this post Ma, it is impossible for me to be everyone to thnk think in similar patterns.

  178. I really agree with the one that says we should study the word. Because I believe that the more we consume the word of God and spend time in the secret place, the spirit of God is being renewed in us and enables us manifest the fruits of the spirit. By so doing, we have self control whenever we are being wronged.

  179. This is very important especially in the world we live in today.. Tolerance in actions and speech can help us.. I appreciate every of your posts ma

  180. This is very important in the world we live in today….tolerance in our speech and actions would really help us.. I always learn from your posts MA.. I appreciate the effort you put in educating us

  181. People just dey vex anyhow.. Lol. Like a friend of mine said, only those who have nothing serious doing and no priorities set do go about getting into a frenzy about everything and anything. Most especially, we must steep ourselves in God’s word so as to know the right response to situations.

  182. Perhaps if allow others opinion instead of ours, there would be a common bond between those involved. And then you get your happiness and respect instead of having the ego you are the best speaker. The only smart one. Secondly, people minding their business would go a long way to bringing happiness.

  183. Getting angry and not controlling it can make one take foolish actions which they will regret later,If everyone minded their business and tried to stay away from irrelevant things, life would be much easier

  184. People could be so annoying most times but the most important thing is how to manage the reactions coming from your inner man. Minding your business and not letting social media take over you will be of great help to our society. Bless you mummy!

  185. I’m mostly guilty of this, guess I should practice tolerance more often, it’s the most important point to me in this write up, because when you’re tolerant of other people’s opinion ideas and feeling, you’ll get less offended on non consequential matters.

  186. I guess I need that. With these tips of yours, I’ve come to realize that no one has a right to get you angry unless you allow that. Most importantly, if you have God, people won’t be able to get you easily offended. Thank you for this, Ma.

  187. Thanks Ma for this, really eye opening. Being swift to hear and slow to speak is the best. Sometimes it’s better to be an observer than the one being observed. Being able to tolerate people is a blessing, people with their different attitudes and behaviors.
    I pray God help me to abide by these

  188. A lot of people this days won’t mind their business, they derive joy in savagery. This five tips are really helpful, one should try limit the amount of time spent on social media. But in it all not just on social media, it takes only a child of God who posses the fruit of the spirit, to be calm even when you are being pushed to the wall.

  189. Good one ma. Some guys allow their lives to be controlled by several data and information flying up and down in social media while some totally feel out of this world without visiting any of their handles. That’s very dangerous in creating strong thought process. One is likely to become what he sees and hears.
    For Believers in Christ,we must be very careful with the kind of contents we digest because some can be unhealthy to our spiritual growth.
    Finally, it’s maturity not to comment on every issue on social media but if you must, it should be constructive.

  190. we should not let every thing we see on social media get to us those guidelines are a guide to us that would push us through life and we can never fall apart in life or deviate from God’s plan towards us.

  191. The post mirrors what is obtainable in our physical world where people get easily offended by little and unreasonable things especially things that’s comes from the media. The thirds point got me pondering. There’s much that the word of God can do in helping us change our attitude and view about life. When u feed yourself with the word of God,you find yourself easily forgiving people of their wrongs towards you. May God grant us the courage to carry on positively with the things of the world. Amen

  192. All the points listed here are wonderful.but the most important thing is that we should always steep ourselves in the word of God. God bless you ma

  193. All these these are true, ways to avoid being easily upset, the third point really touches me “steeping in the word of God”. The Bible said that God is love, to seek the word of God is to seek God, to seek God is to seek love which overcomes all. Love superseed all things including anger.

  194. MA, I’ve always given people the benefit of doubt but very often they take advantage of that. But I prefer to leave them feeling like they are at a greater advantage than keep a grudge in my heart. I just try not to have a close dealing with such people. Thank you ma

  195. Even if we lived a perfect life, people will get offended for being too perfect.
    The life we live is to please and honor our creator and not humans.

  196. The 5 points listed here are necessary to attaining peace. Ignoring things most time is the best way to prevent anger .cause out of 100 things we hear daily, 15-20 of them must annoy us. It can only be possible when you skict with the word of God.

  197. Misunderstanding among people starts when people try to make others be like them.The most intriguing point of this is that which talks on tolerance. The earlier we accept others the way they are, the better. People should do what they enjoy and what is right instead of trying to please the crowd.

  198. This post just took me back to Jesus’ words in the book of John “offences will definitely come, but blessed is he who is not offended”. Christians can rise above getting offended, if only we could soak ourselves in the word of God.

  199. These are really good measures. Giveng someone a benefit of doubt make you to be at ease and even endears the person towards you. Moreover, the word of God can go a long way in keeping our temperament good.

  200. Often people visit the social media to ease off but they come out provoked and spent. Spending less time doing specifically what one wants is better. It is also good not to always suspect people, but to allow them express themselves and show them concern

  201. It is very important that we learn how not to react or respond to everything been said or thrown to us I really like the first step tolerance I think this will help me alot.Nice piece ma

  202. Sometimes, it’s difficult to tolerate people’s excess especially when they poke their noses into your personal life, saying annoying things without verification.
    Before I read this post, I usually think less of others who aren’t close family and friends so that their opinion about me won’t get to me. This post made me know I have been handling it wrongly.
    I will follow these steps to avoid being provoked.

  203. Sometimes i find it very difficult to tolerate people’s attitude especially the ones we know as (ITK) I Too Knows. They claim to know it all but are empty upstairs, whenever i come across this set of people i often lose it.

  204. I believe with the steps used in the post people will begin to tolerate one another. Nice ?
    Dr. Edith u are a blessing to our generation

  205. Setting our priorities right is the most important things and placing it with God is the ultimate. It is not easy sometimes not getting annoyed or offended.as people take things too personal.we should be watchful and tread with ease. and let God be our defender.

  206. Thank you Ma for this post ,all the points are really helpful and sure ways to avoid being easily upset but the one that I totally agree with is the third point , which is steeping in the word of God. The Bible said that God is love, to seek the word of God is to seek God, to seek God is to seek love which overcomes all. With love anger is kept at far distance.Being Angry at any little thing is not Good, try to ignore some things and ask for God’s grace to do that. Anger is not even good for we humans and when someone is angry he or she can do a lot of harmful things that we might regret later and it might be too late already.All I pray is that God should help me control my anger in all situations.

  207. These 5 points listed here are very important for peace to reign. When we Ignore unnecessary things we prevent anger and also when we stick with the word of God.

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