I’ve hurt and mistreated you over and over
I’ve just about trashed everything we hold dear
I’ve acted as though you were made of stone
I’ve been unfaithful, left you often alone

This is not what I promised you
This is not why you declared, “I do”
This is not where we should be right now
This is not when folks should hear us row

Everyday, I say I’ll give you the moon
Everyday, I make you cry before noon
Everyday, I promise I’ll be a better man
Everyday, I slip and all you see’s a charlatan

Is there some kind of masochist in you?
Is that why you stay when a parting is due?
Is a man like me still worth your time?
Is your life for the wasting, hear the clocks chime?
Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2016


I don’t know why I would write a poem like this. I’m usually the positive and optimistic type. But this is what I received and it’s what I’ve shared. If it blesses even one person out there, I’ll be satisfied.

It would be fun, though, if someone could do a response to this poem. The guy in the poem asked a few crucial questions towards the end. Someone up for the challenge of pretending to be the lady addressed and giving him some answers? No profanities, please!

Initially, I meant it to be a poetic challenge but I’m thinking it would limit participation. So I’m throwing it open. Say it in poetry, say it in prose. Give him a proverb, a piece of your mind. He certainly asked for it. But once again, no coarse language, please!
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I am a university lecturer. I teach Mass Communication, mostly writing courses like Feature and Interpretative Writing, Magazine Article Writing and News Writing, and let’s just say I’ve been doing this for a long time. As you have probably guessed, I am a born-again Christian.


  • Lordmagnum

    Not that I was made for this…I thought love was divine
    Not that I chose this part, I had a different idea of you
    I was wrong to have trusted you for so long
    I knew it would end, I just didn’t know how long

    You want me to be a victim of love? I hope never
    You take me for granted for long? I choose to be free
    Now I know better! Love is sweeter when it’s shared
    All my hurts and hush have only made me better
    Today I am broken, I bet you don’t know I’m strong
    I have only realized there can’t be more hurt, only more love!
    I have found a new set of music. The rhythm is love
    I truly respect this gravity, for now I have “fallen” in love

  • highbrowmc

    So you know what you are doing, right? Have you forgotten so quickly when you used to ask me for my hand in marriage? Women of course are supposed to be treated with respect not the other way round. Well, I’ll give you a second chance which will be determined by your attitude henceforth.

    • Edith Ohaja

      Much as I admire your fortitude, I read from the poem that this guy has blown countless chances. But I guess the Bible didn’t say “Love bears all things” for nothing.

  • flawlex

    Hahaha,women need all the care I guess, utilize ur Second chance oooooo. Aunty aunty, u dey write ooooo. Nice piece.

  • flawlex

    Nice piece anuty. Aunty I wish I can write like u.

  • Gideon Arinze

    The question will prove a little bit difficult to answer especially when the woman recalls the series of promises her spouse made at the alter. certainly he promised to love and cherish her, to be her asylum at time of trouble. But the obverse has become the case as he is turned her into a bitting drum and made her loose her respect. But the fact remains that the woman must be resilient so as to keep the marriage going.
    It is well written and coming from a distinguished writer.

  • precious

    When I said I do” I do to the good and the bad times,for better,for worse,in sickness and in health… Even God believes we can change,no matter how big our sins;life is never a bed of roses.A physician once said “the best medicine for humans is love” someone asked him”what if it doesn’t work”? He smiled and said “increase the dose”. You ask if your still worth my time, well I think that answers your question.

  • atimes, it’s just that way. love your write up

  • onyeabor ijeoma

    All this years i have been praying for God to touch your heart and bring back the man of my heart (tears rows down) it hurts me that i have been living with a monster as a husband, sometimes i wonder if you were the same man i said i do to on the alter….am happy at least you have realized your mistakes, i just pray you change for good because i cant continue living with fear with someone i called my husband.

  • Rose Jonathan

    Although love covers all sin, I am not ignorant of the fact that you have committed things even God himself abhors. He commanded men to love their wives, but you have done the opposite, even though I have been submissive to you. It even hurts me more when you acknowledge your wrongs with no commitment to change. It is okay to be sorry, but if you’re truly sorry, then you really have to change. We are sons and daughters of grace. But, shall we continue in sin while grace abounds?

  • Love they say endures,but how long is endurance? Obviously she had loved and still do,is love not meant to protect and cherish? How blurry does a bloody eye get before is blind? I think this serves as a wake up call to all the ladies out there, to actually wake up and really understand love and oppression in whatever context it is defined, is time to stop using the old saying “I love him too much to let go” to keep making excuses,excuses that would bring about no change whatsoever.

  • Bless you, Jennifer! There are boundaries in everything. Even God sometimes loses His patience with people.

  • Ewa Sammuel

    love is enduring and I need your understanding to make it up for you

  • Onah joy

    Hold my hands and feel my pains of love and passion. I strongly believe that God has joined us together.

  • Okeke Miriam Nzubechukwu

    To err is human and forgiveness is divine. Therefore, it is not by my power but by his grace that will be together forever.

  • samuel Godsgift Akachukwu

    Now that you have realized your shortcomings, am for you to accept you as you are.

  • Onuorah chinemerem

    So where’s the remorse. Everything you said in the first and second paragraph, do the opposite and you’ll have a happy woman.

  • israel chinwe Goodness

    Wow its so touching some men dont value what they have untill they abt to loose it. But the woman should just forgive. Since he has realised his mistakes

  • itodo mary

    t is so touching, love is really complicated at times

  • precious caius

    When at the altar i said “i do”,it wasn’t just a mere utterance. I made a vow that i would be by your side till death do us part. I saw something in you that made me love you, and till today, i still see that special something. Love endures all things, love bears all things,i love you,in everything you do, i still love you. You know you’ve hurt and mistreated me, you know you’ve made me cry,you’re asking me if i married you to suffer. No! I didn’t say “i do” to suffer. I promised to stay in goodtimes and in badtimes. This is the badtime and I’m not breaking my promise. ThankGod you’ve realised your mistakes.
    Still, i love you and i always will.

  • Tobechi

    Love seems so divine, but it’s still so imperfect. These imperfections created by men have blinded us from seeing a perfection that can be attained. A broken heart is a bad start to seeing the perfection in love.. Let’s just believe it can be perfect. Quite touching poem.

  • Ndukwu cynthia C

    cant 4get dose lines
    u”ve used dem before
    sometimes i think u say dem
    coz u feel i need d words
    my heart needs actions and not words
    its going to take long term action
    to heal my heart and off course time
    fact is did not cry diz time coz
    u dnt deserve my tears
    i guess dats why ull never see me cry.

  • onyema bright

    yes, we are not all above mistakes,yes, you have acknowledged your wrong doings, yes, acknowledgment is the first step to repentance,but dear I wish you could meet your words with actions, cos action they say speaks louder than words. yes,love they say is patient ,perseveres , counts no wrong , and boundless. but dear if I be patient with you base on the confession of my love for you then my death is pertinent if you truly seek a second chance then your words henceforth should be thy oath.

  • buike

    Just like am been addressed in this piece, its wow!

    • Edith Ohaja

      Some role playing required. That is, to put yourself in the wife’s shoes and respond.

  • Atu Mercy John

    marriage is the only institution that we are not given the certificate of graduation thus,making death the only thing that can separate us….when i said “i do”,i meant it was forever both in good and bad times….i bear no grudge against you cos u’re my husband and always will.

  • osuagwu chiamaka

    the moment i said i do, into your hands i committed myself. marriage is for better and for worse, i consider this as our time of testing, therefore i will stick with you to the end. you may have been much of a character to handle,but the love i have and feel for you will never dwindle.

  • oleru precious

    nice… but if I am the wife I wouldn’t accept because if he has hurt me so many times he will continue to hurt me no matter how hard I try to forgive him

  • hmmm interesting! I like.

  • hmmm. something is surely unique about this piece. when two becomes one it is for better for worse through thick and thin till death do us part.

  • hmmm. this is a unique piece. when we say I do it is for better for worse, through thick and thin not minding the trials or pain accompanied with it.

  • just like my priest would say that marriage is a situation where a woman adopts an over grown baby which is the man. men are over grown and so immature, so as a woman we should always accept them even when they misbehave. nice one anty

  • chioma

    Will another chance make you tame?
    Will it be worth the pain?
    I know I deserve more
    And that you can’t provide..

  • Ekwuru chidimma Jill

    am short of words and out of thoughts
    but am grateful you realized the truth,am I meant to be upset with you,that I don’t no but am grateful you had a rethink. I hope you are for better…I hope it is real…I took the step on the aisle with smiles on my face,hoping its a happy ever after …..I stood to my faith….and now here is my faith ….well for my time ,I need a new wedding ring,dress and a fresh alter vows from you…

  • Barnabastimothy ebube

    Awnnn…very touching story and it should serve as a soothing balm to marriages at the brink of breakage

  • Abonyi Juliet

    Well,husband,I wish now that I never made those vows to you and gave you my heart and my all in bethrothed love.But regret’s of no use.I was made for love,to love and to be loved.And,enduring with you is living short of my existence.I have no right to deny you of love,though you’ve shattered my heart and hopes of commited and mutual love with you.But no longer will I do this as a wife.O boy,you just lost me!

  • for me luv demends scerifice,so even duo does promise r broken sme times she learn to hold on,she should hold on to d reason dat made her luved at first dat reason wil bring her man back.nice piace ma u r jst amasings,God bless u me

  • Joseph jennifer ezinne

    Love, they say, is a golden chain

    For me, but, has been my bane

    I wail all day,all night for you

    Where you are, i have no clue

    My love, no season knows nor clime

    Nor hours and days which are rags of time

    Baby, when i said “i do”

    You forever became my boo

    No matter the high and stormy gale

    My heart is forever here to stay

    Was stabbed and hurt…yes i know

    Forgiven u……yes i have

    You’ve been unfaithful

    You’ve been uncaring

    You’ve left me alone

    To bemoan and groan

    Your absence as my very own

    ….but my love is like a durable fire

    In my mind, ever burning

    My love never tires

    From itself never turrning

    I loved u once

    I love u still

    I always have

    I always will!

  • Ogbalu Treasure Onyinye

    Am glad the man in this poem has discovered his mistakes because that’s the most important thing. No one is perfect, you only live ones.Make the most of the time you have now to amend the past.

  • Oluchukwu Maryrose Anyadubalu

    Aunty u kept me glued to my fone with dz,its so inspiring…I love dz

  • love demands sacrifice so wen u love u endue wat ever comes out of it.

  • Eze Chime Mark

    My most interesting aspect about the poem is its rhyming scheme- AA,BB,CC,DD etc. Much more power to your elbow.

  • Okpechi Augustina

    Forgive that u will be forgiven. Once forever, always forever

  • Tyozua Elisha

    Aunty this is so inspiring. Nice one

  • Beautifully written sis!

  • Ifeanyichukwu

    Am I still worth your time? Certainly not. Not even one second more. I can’t be dying in a relationship while i’m supposed to be living. So I’m going to leave and never look back.

  • Ifeanyichukwu

    I also strongly feel that “I do” could be broken and disregarded because nothing is set in stone.

  • amaka

    this is a nice and touching piece.

  • udeorah maureen chika

    men are sometimes abusive towards the way they treat women. However, it is the duty of every woman who has come to stay to forgive.

  • Princess Jackreece

    Should I cry?
    Or should I smile?
    Should I pray you change?
    Or should I admit that you have?
    My heart burns for your love though I have never felt it.. Every night I soak my pillow hoping you change.
    My days has turned dry with no sign of a drop.
    I have loved you even more than I have loved myself.
    When you hit me.. I do not cry because it hurts me but I cry because I wish and hope that your hands remain on my body forever.
    I do not care about the hurting things you have done.. I can never dream of my life without you.. But I hope that this words you say are from within.

  • Akogu Chidiebere Imelda

    I can’t hold things any more, you said you love me but you still make me cry, Is that the definition of your love?

  • Ifeanyichukwu

    Since here merely acknowledged that he’d been nasty, why should she keep putting her happiness on the line for him? All that matters in this life first, is your happiness.

  • okereke chukwuemeka matthew

    interesting piece

  • okafor chioma rita

    nice one

  • Nwankwo Anita

    actually,love and marriage life have its own shortcomings irrespective of anything they still come our way in one way or the other so bth should understand each oda and make correction whr necesary.

  • elijah amogu

    you spoild everything
    you made me see love as a mistake
    you replaced your love promises with hate
    all your mouthwatering praises where just blatant falsehood

    you don’t deserve a place in my heart again…
    you deserve to be paid in your own coins


    beloved, who have not erred before?
    who have not thrown stones?

    my promises of committment and love would not permit me to do otherwise
    if God who is “love” forgives me, then, who is man to act otherwise…

    here is my shocking response to you


  • elijah amogu

    You spoild everything.
    You made me see love as a mistake.
    You replaced your love promises with hate.
    All your mouthwatering praises where just blatant falsehood.

    You don’t deserve a place in my heart again…
    You deserve to be paid in your own coins.

    Beloved, who have not erred before?,
    who have not thrown stones?.
    My promises of committment and love would not permit me to do otherwise.
    If God who is “love” forgives me, then, who is man to act otherwise…

    Here is my shocking response to you,

  • Ugwu, Chinagorom Joseph

    Although you recognize and admit guilty of your scuzzy conduct towards me, your supposed wife, you are not still worth my time. You seem to be uncertain and impossible to change.I cannot be deceived again by your sugar-coated Outburst. I have also lost hope of your never-coming change of character. To continue with you is suicidal. Your promises never came from your heart. Your love for me is a crime;it’s a pseudo-love. If this is how all men are, let me remain, forever, a living spinster,instead of a married corpse!

  • Oweka Chioma Sandra

    ‎After what seems like eternity, 
    I picked my emblem of heredity,
    And I laid down the sacred story;
    Let me tell of my “jingling overs”;
    Allow me to relate my tales of hovering around
    Such were my see-sawing like the toddler’s play tool,
    Aimlessly I have wandered, 
    Endlessly I have pondered, 
    My quest for riches,
    My thirst for knowledge, 
    My treks to freedom, 
    My struggle for liberty,

  • Faith aforka

    its a very touching piece.

    please permit me to borrow these words from the movie ‘brave’

    “I have learnt that love always comes at a cost
    that only the brave can pay for.
    this is beyound me,
    I cannot love you by my own strenght
    if i did i would always grow weary.
    you see God is love
    and when you truelly have Him
    you’ll have the capacity to love unconditionally
    without fear or compromise.
    the kind of love that has the power to change everything”.
    dear it has been God and His unconditional love all the way
    and He just hassen’t failed me yet.
    (personalizations were made for emphasis)

  • Mpama Ifeanyi

    A man like you, with all the wrongdoings you have confessed to me, is definitely no longer worth my time. I am truly justified if I withdraw it, you can bear witness to this truth. But then, you can choose to bring light to this tunnel. A man like the opposite of the person you just said you have been, with contradictions to the qualities of this man and a man who will not just apologize to me in mere words but in actions also, will be worth not just my time but my unending love, affection and prayers.

  • Ifebe june sobechukwu

    That kind of man can never be. I want to b a “sisi wife” n DAT kind of man cant b worth my type

  • Njoku Chimamaka Elizabeth

    I believe we were given brains to think.You should work with your head when it is necessary. We all have our worth and we are meant to guard it jealously. When someone crosses their boundaries we should be sure to call the game off.

  • Jeremiah Chioma

    nobody is perfect and it takes a strong woman to forgive and choose to hold her marriage together.

  • Egbo Benjamin Chigbogu

    We promised to love each other
    We promised to love
    We determined to make it work
    We promised, remember
    I still love you
    For i have seen no other who could make me complete except you
    God gave you me,and me to you
    I don’t want to see our love as “how are the mighty fallen”
    We’re together for a purpose
    I still love you
    I don’t want to be out there looking at what i don’t have when i have you
    I love you, for you are my love
    I will not disappoint GOD because of you
    Let’s keep worthy our days and let no folk hear us again
    No matter what, my heart still loves you
    I love you dearly
    Just understand, i love you kindly. I do, even as i cry, just for peace

  • Eze Benjamin Oduma

    Love,you make me go blind even when I can see,
    Love,you make me go foolish even when I am wise,
    Love,you make me go dumb even when I can speak,
    Love,you make me go guilty even when I am free,
    I cannot but say that it is not your fault,
    Because love cannot but say that it cannot count wrongs,
    We can make amends because we are not complete,
    When you falter again, I tell you, I can still forgive,
    If God can forgive us,who am I to retain your wrongs
    You’re still worth my time,because it is not yet time,
    I will ever love you,because our love lasts forever.

  • chikodili ozulumba

    i love this

  • odo chidera

    all this while you have treated me like a piece of rag, i prayed to God to give me the man that once loved me. but at first all my prayers seemed to b in vain. i cried day and night because of what you made me go through was the least i ever expected from you. i taught that you would continue to love me as u did in our first week of marriage but only heaven knows why you treated me the way you did. minus the promise i made at the alter, i would had been long gone. now you are back to who you used to be, the man i used to know, i forgive you all your doings. no woman would chose to stay away from her husband house ans i will not be an exception.

    • Edith Ohaja

      This is very touching but I’m sorry to disillusion you: there is nothing in the poem that indicates the man is back to …

  • Yes,you’re worth my time
    Even though your love for me now is like a tide.
    I’ll always be there for you
    Your prodigal nature, my love for you will subdue.
    Is that mockery or repentance?
    I see through your eyes to your lies.
    I stood at the alter and said ‘i do’
    I wish i could but can’t undo
    Because into you i have fallen
    Even though my heart you’ve saddened
    Every night,i knock on heaven’s door
    Knowing one day,you’ll knock at my heart’s door
    Believing soon enough,i shall have my man back
    Tears and sorrow are my companions as i look above where my help comes from
    And at you which my heart beats for.
    Am no masochist my love,but human
    I just try to be strong and be your woman
    I crash when i fall
    Tears roll down when my love fails
    But unto God i place myself
    I ll not stop but keep loving you
    For i believe i shall subdue with patience and endurance as my companoins in this journey

  • chinaza ezenwa

    Am touched

  • Chigbo ifeanyi james

    My dear, i have been crying in silence, i have been wishing in silence praying that my love finds its way back to me. dear you have hurt me very much, my friends have advised that i should leave your wicked side but deep down as i weep i know that this is not the sweet caring and romantic man i fell for. My dear you worth every minute of my time. I still want to return to the moments when you heard me in your arms and sang sweet songs of love just to ease my worries and stress. Although things changed, i have held onto the memories and I don’t want to create new ones with anyone else. My dream, my dear, my heart and time i forever devote to you.take care of it this time

  • ogwu ugo

    Ma I like your idea of involving the audience. Please do more of it.

  • Amedu blessing amarachi

    Nice piece Aunty. Kudos!!!

  • ogwudu onyinyechi linda

    wao lovers are dynamic which means they can change at any time,anyway ma i love your piece,kudos

  • Umoru sadia idris

    great poem! very touching!

  • chinonyelum onyema c

    i remember the sweet sounds of our laughter
    i remember the way it felt having you closer
    i remember the promises you made
    i remember also the things you said

    too bad you gradually let it slip off
    too bad you hurt and cut me off
    too sad to think of those times
    too sad to look at those eyes

    you have broken everything in me
    you have taken everything from me
    you have made me ashamed of myself
    you have made me a stranger to myself

    yes, deep down is a masochist in me
    cos pain you inflicted is the only pleasure i know
    yes, i stay when parting is due
    cos i have no where else to go

  • Ogechi

    Super duper. Weldone MA!

  • Ndudu John

    Great piece but the struggle to maintain the rhyming scheme made it look too stressful. It almost killed the flow.
    The poem is a question and I think a sequel in the form of a response from the lover being addressed would be a wonderful piece too.

    • Edith Ohaja

      Lol! Guy you funny oh! Who dey struggle, you or me? I do free verse all the time. There’s no need to struggle. If I can’t get across the meaning I want in rhyme, I do something less structured. Bottom line is, it must make sense. The truth I think is, you weren’t paying attention. Else, you would have also noticed that I called for responses right after the poem. I did get a ton of them, some from your friends and selected several which formed a follow-up post (shown down the page in Related Posts). You must have been AWOL then. Would have liked to have your gap-toothed smile on my blog if you were among those who made the grade. Lol!

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