RESPONSES TO “AM I STILL WORTH YOUR TIME?”

About two weeks ago, I wrote a poem on behalf of women who are in relationships that have become toxic, women who have given everything without reciprocation, women whose partners have refused to change for the better. The poem was written in the first person with this poster boy for bad husbands addressing his wife. It was titled, “AM I STILL WORTH YOUR TIME?”

I asked readers to put themselves in the woman’s shoes and respond in the comment section. The responses were mixed as expected: some insisting they will stick with the man, others saying they were leaving. I personally did a quatrain in each category. I also threw in one that was plain funny. I hereby present catchy samples from the two groups giving credit to the writers, of course. Some readers assumed the man was apologising. He was not, he was merely being sarcastic. (These samples have undergone a tad of editing. The first one by Solomon Ebong was sent to me in the mail.)

Now to the “I’ll love you forever” group:

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ARE YOU STILL WORTH MY TIME?

I still remember the days after we walked down the aisle
When even your voice made me to smile
When, after you’ve called me, you’d immediately press redial
When being away from you felt like a trial.

But now, I don’t even know you anymore
Your presence feels worse than when you walk out the door
The sweetest details of our union have gone sour
They’ve become bland, they’ve lost their colour.

You cheat on me and you say, “I’m sorry”
But you never cease to go a-whoring
My friends advise that I should leave
But my heart says, “To you, I cleave”.

I certainly know you have a kind heart
Of course that’s why I decided, from my parents, to part
And you, I promised respect, love and care
And to all your good and bad times share.

And so, to answer your question…
Yes, you are still worth my time.
Solomon Ebong

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When at the altar I said “I do”, it wasn’t just a mere utterance. I made a vow that I would be by your side till death do us part. I saw something in you that made me love you, and till today, I still see that special something. Love endures all things, love bears all things… I love you, in spite of everything you do, I still love you. You know you’ve hurt and mistreated me, you know you’ve made me cry, you’re asking me if I married you to suffer. No! I didn’t say “I do” to suffer. I promised to stay in good times and in bad times. These are the bad times and I’m not breaking my promise.

I love you still, and I always will.
Precious Caius

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When I said “I do”, I did it to the good and the bad times, for better for worse, in sickness and in health… Even God believes we can change, no matter how big our sins; life is never a bed of roses. A physician once said, “The best medicine for humans is love.” Someone asked him, ”What if it doesn’t work?” He smiled and said, “Increase the dose.” You ask if you’re still worth my time, well I guess you’ve got my answer.
Precious Onyeze

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You spoiled everything
You made me see love as a mistake
You replaced your love promises with hate
All your mouthwatering pledges were blatant falsehood
You don’t deserve a place in my heart again
You deserve to be paid back in your own coin

BUT…

Who has not erred before?
Who has not thrown stones?

My promises of committment and love would not permit me to do as you ask
If God who is “LOVE” forgives me, then, who am I to act otherwise?

So here’s my shocking response to you …

FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE, FOR THE ONE THAT WON IS LOVE.

Elijah Amogu

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Love, they say, is a golden chain
But for me, it has been my bane
I wail all day, all night for you
Where you are, I have no clue
My love, no season knows nor clime
Nor hours and days which are rags of time
Baby, when I boldly said “I do”
You forever became my boo
No matter the high and stormy gale
My heart is forever here to stay
Was stabbed and hurt…yes I know
Forgiven you…yes I have
You’ve been unfaithful
You’ve been uncaring
You’ve left me alone
To bemoan and groan
Your absence as my very own …
But my love is like a durable fire
In my mind, ever burning
My love never tires
From itself never turning
I loved u once
I love u still
I always have
I always will!
Jennifer Joseph

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Thank you for asking
But I don’t think I’m leaving
I signed up for life
I’ll forever be your wife
Edith Ohaja

Next we have the “So long!” group:

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Will another chance make you tame?
Will it be worth the pain?
I know I deserve more
And that you can’t provide.
Chioma Benjamin

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Although love covers all sin, I am not ignorant of the fact that you have committed things God Himself abhors. He commanded men to love their wives, but you have done the opposite, even though I have been submissive to you. It even hurts me more when you acknowledge your wrongs with no commitment to change. It is okay to be sorry, but if you’re truly sorry, then you really have to change. We are sons and daughters of grace. But, shall we continue in sin while grace abounds? Since your answer seems to be “Yes”, “we” cannot continue.
Rose Jonathan

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Not that I was made for this…I thought that love was divine
Not that I chose this part, I had a different idea of you
I was wrong to have trusted you so long
I knew it would end, I just didn’t know how long

You want me to be a victim of love, but no, never!
You’ve taken me for granted so long that I choose to be free
Now I know better, love is sweeter when it’s shared!
All my hurts and tears have only made me better
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You think me broken, but you don’t know I’m strong
‘Cause I’ve decided there won’t be more hurt, only more love!
I have found a new kind of music, the rhythm is love
Not your kind of “love”, I leave for love as it should be
Lordmagnum

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Thanks for the wake-up call
For making me rise from my fall
I will N-E-V-ER wallow in regret
I’ll just get myself a better mate
Edith Ohaja

And last, the funny one: This woman clearly does not see herself as a victim.

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Is this your way of giving me the heave?
Is this your twisted way of asking me to leave?
You’ve run out of options, my baby boy
You’re stuck with Mama, you teddy toy!
Edith Ohaja

Wow! I think the contributors deserve appreciation and a round of applause at this point. ???????

What was missing in these responses is someone blaming the devil and his wicked powers. Although we do this often to escape carrying the can when we do wrong, we need to realise the role of prayer, I don’t mean the drowsy type but spiritual warfare, in turning around a situation like this. The man being addressed obviously needs deliverance! That does not exonerate him from blame or punishment for his misdeeds, though, because God has given us self-will as human beings. In addition, He has made grace available to us in Christ to resist temptation if we accept Him as our Lord and personal Saviour.

Once again, I want to thank all those who responded to this challenge, both those I picked their answers and those I didn’t. (They were many good ones, I couldn’t possibly use all of them here.) One of those whose comment was a poem was writing poetry for the first time. So read more, write more – you never know, you might awaken a genius in you!
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I am a university lecturer. I teach Mass Communication, mostly writing courses like Feature and Interpretative Writing, Magazine Article Writing and News Writing, and let’s just say I’ve been doing this for a long time. As you have probably guessed, I am a born-again Christian.

44 thoughts on “RESPONSES TO “AM I STILL WORTH YOUR TIME?”

  1. mm, i think she should stay coz as precious caius said, the promise is to be there through the good and bad times and marriage is a “till death do us part” affair. So yeah, she should stay and hope for the “change”. But she should be smart to know when to stop loving and start leaving.

  2. At a point, I felt like oh yes! I Knew the direction Solomon Ebong’s poem was going and then he played with my instincts when he came up with the last line in his poem. Shows that no matter how bad marriage to a significant other can be, it should be worked upon to near perfection if not perfection.

  3. Two has become one even in life and in death,the bond should see the strength in every situation, wife I say cling to ur husband, husband I am telling you now cling to your wife. For that is the joy of an happy married life.

  4. To err is human, to forgive divine, both parties in marriage cycle need divinely built spirit to uphold till the end as Elijah pointed out

  5. ‘to err is human,forgive divine’ both parties in marriage need God’s grace to strengthen the love and to forgive each other when there is misunderstanding.

  6. wow! great poems. great meaning that touches the emotion of any great reader, the poems are motivating and interesting. there are lessons and entertainment to readers. please ma, keep the good poems coming.

  7. this poem touched my heart when it talked about love and its action in our lives. i love the flowing from the beginning to the end. i love the poem with passion.

  8. Put God first in every relationship and it is for better for worse. Good communication is also important. And for females, before saying “I do,” pray to the Lord.

  9. This is amazing! I love the creativity and clever thought put in to each poem, and the project. Edith, your closing wrapped it up beautifully……….. exhorting towards prayer. I had to share on Grandma Mary Martha, so I tagged you.

    • Glad you liked this, Tammy! Facebook gives opportunities to share memories of old posts and I just like to take advantage of that. I seem to have strong views on how to handle abuse and infidelity in relationships as seen from the original poem and a recent one I wrote titled, “When Love is not a Two-way Street”. Many blessings on you and your family and I wish you guys a beautiful weekend.

    • Yes, it was, Angela! I’m glad Tammy drew your attention to it. Wish you and your family a beautiful August. You are all blessed in Jesus’ name.

  10. amazing! I love the creativity and clever thought put in to each poem, and the project… exhorting towards prayer.

  11. Communication Is a way of keeping the bond stronger in every relationship, additionally God is the best solution to all

  12. Wow! Wonderful comments. Marriage is for better and for worst. Therefore, I urge all couples to always seek the face of God in times of trials and also learn to forgive each other. With God, a better home is assured.

  13. Marriage is a life time business, so no matter how difficult it might seem to be just accept it that way and move on. Most men find it so difficult to accept their mistakes and in order to avoid problems silence is applied. just as it is likely said that for peace to reign in marriage one person will accept to be guilty.

  14. This challenge is terrific! Everyone’s contribution is amazing and shows different opinions about what marriage is. I know marriage is a lasting promise to remain with your partner come what may but who said you had to stay through the never ending heartbreak and trauma? Nobody. No one signs up for being cheated on, no one promises to relive the moment of torment over and over again. I know I’m leaning towards the latter group but can you really blame me? I’m one of the female folk and I know I can’t live with such a man who feels no remorse for his transgressions. It’s just unacceptable. For those who say they’ll suck it up and remain in that kind of marriage or should I say ‘nightmare’, I wouldn’t take their word for it. I bet most of them have never been married. They’ll probably flee the first chance they get after much sorrow. That’s just how it is. No one was built to withstand that much pain. Thank you for this refreshing post aunty

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