“STAY DOWN!” (SHORT STORY)

“Each of the combatants within him had decided that rather than end up being the underdog, it would do its utmost to push the other out.”

Intro:
This is just a humorous short short to lighten your day. You are blessed!

“STAY DOWN!”

Mazi Okeke had really missed his favourite food. A lingering attack of fever had deprived him of his appetite but currenty in the middle of treatment with anti-malaria medication and multivitamins, his whole body had been shaking until he requested for, first a bowl of fufu(cassava) with ora soup, followed up shortly with another bowl of the same and onugbu (bitter leaf) soup.

He had scarcely downed the last morsel of fufu before a rumbling erupted in his stomach followed by a loud belch. Surprisingly, it was the whiff of ora soup that he got.

He patted his tommy and coaxed, “N’odu nwayo, ora, i to tago nwa,” meaning, “Be quiet, ora, you have a younger sibling now.”

But the ora was not in an agreeable mood. It was probably miffed that it had been submerged under so much onugbu. Who would blame it? To have to endure all that bitterness! Presently, a battle of supremacy ensued because the onugbu couldn’t understand why the ora was pushing and gasping for air.

Alarmed, that the contest was about to result in something he didn’t want to think about, Mazi Okeke screamed, “Stay down!” in his mind.

Then, “No, no, no! Don’t you dare!”

All the while, he clamped his mouth shut and flared his nostrils to get more air in. Yet he got more and more restless.

“Pleeease, stay down,” he whimpered silently but it was no good.

Each of the combatants within him had decided that rather than end up being the underdog, it would do its utmost to push the other out. And so the next thing he knew, his mouth was full.

“Waaaaah!” His wife came running with a bucket but before she arrived, “Waaaaah!”

“I warned you to be careful with that fufu.”

“Waaaaah, waaaaah, waaaaah,” he went again, clutching the bucket.

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The retching continued. It was as if he would spill his guts, literally. After several more minutes of being violently sick and coughing to clear his throat, he collapsed on the armchair and began to pant with beads of perspiration on his brow.

-The end-
Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2016

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I am a university lecturer. I teach Mass Communication, mostly writing courses like Feature and Interpretative Writing, Magazine Article Writing and News Writing, and let’s just say I’ve been doing this for a long time. As you have probably guessed, I am a born-again Christian.

127 thoughts on ““STAY DOWN!” (SHORT STORY)

    • Hahahahaha the use of personification in this story is nice, at first I was confused as to who mazi okeke was referring to, this also applies to the tussle that usually ensue between a set of twins over who will come out first. Men and mixing of soup forgetting that they can let go of one for the other. Bit instead they want to gulp everything down at once.

    • Lol! You probably have never had that type of experience before or you wouldn’t be throwing such a dare.

  1. This story reminds me of a long time experience but i believe its well. Ride on ma’m because am really getting touched, motivated, inspired and also i feel good. Thanks Aunty

  2. i should have laughed well sha, only thing is that as at last week, the story was my experience…Mazi Okeke should wait till he gets well so that pepper soup sef can join in the party

  3. hahaha! Mazi Okeke should at least divided the meal since he missed it that much, eating one in the afternoon and the other at night is not bad.

  4. wonderful creativity ma. composing a story out of edibles, I must commend your professional work. but really, onugbu and ora don’t coexist?, lol.

  5. Lolz its very annoying to fall sick and not have appetite to eat all you would have loved to eat. Nice one Ma

  6. Hahahaha!!! The story draws both laughter and pity. I know what it feels like to be down with malaria ans so you are missing that special dish you love so much. Even when you force yourself to eat, all those bloody plasmodia.

  7. good for all to read and learn the wonderful lessons from the short story. availability of food does not mean it should be abuse by people. the love for a particular food does not mean we should allow it control us.

  8. ha ha ha! i really don’t blame the old man he has been deprived of good food for long by fever, lol! but like my grandmother will always say,too much food intake leads to excessive stooling.

  9. Ewo! Ochí egbuo m??
    Mazi Okeke’s appetite is truly large. This story got me reminiscing on my childhood experiences. Lovely. It made my day…..off to share it with my room mates. Lol

  10. lol…men and their insatiable desire for food! i guess you can never separate them especially when it comes to a man who can never control his appetite for it.a really hilarious story especially the combat between the ora and onugbu soup.. anyway, it serves Mazi Okeke right

  11. What I don’t understand I why somebody would mix egusi and draw soup together., if u want to eat egusi, eat egusi, if it’s draw you want, go with draw, mixing two soups together to form what Kwan… In fact Mazi okeke was the cause of his problem..

  12. What a funny story. Mazi okeke is such a greedy man, eating two types of soup in his current health state.

  13. Lol! I enjoyed this story and quite frankly can relate with it! I have been sick before and I know how hungry multivitamins can make you; however what I don’t understand is why Mazi had to eat twice, lol. With two different soups! Nice one ma, very entertaining. A

  14. Honestly one of my favourite posts on the blog. Cleverly strung together & very funny. At the same time, it reminds us to stray away from sin of greed/gluttony. Love it.

  15. This is humorous… Such a funny being.
    ..ma the way you give your stories colors, s really charming…Weldon ma

  16. Lol. Mazi Okeke sha. Seems to me like the both soups got off on the wrong foot.
    Maybe he could try some other time with Egusi and Ogbono soup.

  17. Humour at its peak. Description superb, i could easily visualize Mazi Okeke and the state he was. Kudos

  18. Hahaha. What a story. i won’t blame Mr Okeke atall. But as Christians we should desist from gluttony and watch what we eat for our own good.

  19. This is so hilarious, Mazi okeke is a very greedy man, he could considered his health state before eating two soups almost at the same time. Let’s remember greediness is a sin.

  20. This is really a combat between olugbu and ora in mazi okeke’s stomach. he should have at least divided the meal into two. the other in the morning then the next one in the afternoon. not taking everything once. the combination is really not good

  21. mazi okeke is sick and at the same time greed,lol he wanted to eat his cake and have ,it since it has be long he ate his favouriate food he should have divided it morning and nightbut he refused and end up in waaaaaaaah waaaaaah waaaaaah ,very funny of him ,ooops.

  22. He should be constipated after this oneoooo, if he wanted both soups he would have just mixed it in one plate, but the man can enjoy shaoo

  23. well, I think it is better to consider your health first before eating different meals, despite the fact that the food might be your favourite just like mazi okeke

  24. Lol

    Being sick isn’t funny at all and the irony of it is, in some African homes, it’s when you are sick that the house makes available to all that you want or need. ? and then boom, you won’t have the appetite to eat, even when served your favourite food and when you force yourself to eat it, you end up throwing up…..

  25. I’m so happy I stumbled upon this story. It totally made me laugh so hard I almost fell off the bed. Very creative way to write about how someone was about to throw up. A grow up man at that. Mazi Okeke would be more careful not to overfeed next time. Though I know how irresistible it can be, especially when it’s those particular soups. Ora and Onugbu, my favorite. Hilarious story.

  26. lol… Serves him right… He thought he could eat all he missed at one time… No one told him to fall sick anyway… So he just needs to be patient and not rush… Life is all about patience. You can’t get all you want at a time… It’s a gradual process.

  27. This is interesting and it can also be applied to real life issues; when there is a struggle for power and no one wants to let go , it might result in a loss for both sides ( thats when puking comes in and everything goes waaaah into the bucket, which isn’t nice). This also teaches us to be tolerant. Get well soon Mazi Okeke.

  28. This is a very funny piece. You can’t eat your cake and have it and Mazi Okeke learnt it the hard way. In the struggle for power, one force must have the upper hand and in this case, it was the Ora . thank you ma for this wonderfully hilarious story.

  29. Wow, this story is very funny, I just love the way he spoke with the food in his stomach. That combination of food by mazi okeke is unbelievable, is he trying to kill himself or what.

  30. Lol, a very funny story, he wants to eat everything at the same time, now the result is not funny. Sorry, Mazi Okeke????

  31. What a lovely story I don’t blame the old man,this story reminds me of when I eat too much,mazi okeke is a lover of food and that was the cause of his problem

  32. Nice blend of humour. This kind of scenario majorly happens in weddings. As a guest, you would want to eat all offered there and this can lead to indigestion and rumble in the stomach. Very funny!

  33. Ha!ha! this story is really funny, mazi okeke has gone through hell. It is a lesson to all always endeavour to go for check up to ensure you are free from sickness. Mazi okeke story would have been less if he did not eat different soap at the same time. I think next time he would never dare to do it again.

  34. Lol. Funny piece indeed! Gluttony is bad especially for someone who is still recovering from illness.

  35. ?????????? it’s good for him. What was he thinking eating all that fufu and 2 different types of soup when he was ill,next time if some one even gives him one bowl of fufu when he is sick again,he will say ” get behind me satan”

  36. ?????Lol, Mazi Okeke must have really missed his favorite for him to take that risk.
    Really funny MA, well done.

  37. It’s funny ??? when we try to eat all our favorites at once because we haven’t had them for the previous days or so, the result will always be conflicting just like mazi okeke’s own. He was lucky it passed through his mouth, it would have passed through his buttocks ???

  38. Chai! I can’t even remember when last I threw up but I know and I remember it was terrible. The food just wouldn’t stay down for Mazi’s sake ??

  39. Oga mazi, lolzzzz for me he was actually enjoying himself when he was moulding the fufu and downloading that soup into his body system he didn’t know that he would puke. During sickness is advisable to eat little or eat more of fruits. Nice piece Ma

  40. Mazi ooooo and you were warned lols, it got me laughing all through. But which kind combination sef, lols.
    I sha hope you’ve learnt your lessons, haha.
    That was how Malaria dealt with me, chai.
    THANKS ma’am for sharing

  41. Jiri nwanyo!
    I gaghi anu ife
    Men and food,how for Gods sake did he intend to consume two different heavy at the same time.lol.
    Akpiri.

  42. This is what hunger can do to you after rejecting good food due to illness. Hahaha. Mazi okeke stomach became a battle field for “ofe onugbu na ofe ora”. This is a funny story.

  43. LWKMD!!!…this is very funny, but mazi could have at least remained some to eat later instead of packing everything once inside his stomach.

  44. Hahaha okwa stay down, this soups and fufu are very disobedient ooo, Mazi is telling them to stay down and they refused and keep coming up.
    Eating the right quantity of food at all times is good even if it is your best food.

  45. This story is very funny. I feel for Mazi Okeke. Too bad the ora soup refused to stay down. Moderation is key.

  46. Do you know ma that at first I thoughtOra and Ogbunu were characters both only to be later discovered it was soups.. I must commend your meticulous use of personification cum apostrophe… Nice one ?

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