ON HEALING FROM ABUSE (Lessons from Michael Jackson’s Life)

Today, I’m on the subject of abuse. Abuse can be physical and verbal. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop (1958-2009), suffered both with whipping from his dad for any mistakes he made when rehearsing with his brothers as part of the musical group, Jackson 5. Although flogging was a normal part of parental discipline back then, a sensitive child like Michael was psychologically scarred by it.

Furthermore, in a 2003 BBC interview, Michael revealed that his dad ridiculed his appearance when he was a kid- said he had a “fat nose.” Add that to the pressure of a Black person aiming to “look good” in a White-dominated country and industry and you won’t be surprised by Michael’s subsequent rhinoplastic and other cosmetic surgeries.

And constantly working from about the age of six, Michael was robbed of his childhood and lived a lonely and isolated life, as he told Oprah Winfrey in a 1993 interview. No wonder he seemed to have a case of arrested development- remained playful like a child and felt more at home with kids than adults.

He must have resorted to daydreams for comfort and sought to make his Neverland Ranch a physical fulfilment of everything a child could ever dream of.

But his unresolved issues from childhood placed a cloud over his life leading to an addiction with physical enhancement surgeries, possible anorexia and intermittent pronounced weight loss to retain a dancer’s figure, sham marriages and accusations of paedophilia.

God loves you and He can make you whole again.

There is a lot we can learn from his life:

Be careful what you say or do to others. Don’t be a perpetrator of abuse.

And if you’ve been hurt, don’t let it destroy you. You are who God says you are, not who others say you are. In God’s book, you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You are loved and you can be whole again.

Just invite Jesus into your life to soothe the hurts and fill every vacuum. He will put the right people in your life- people who will cherish and treat you right. And He will prevent the demons from your past from destroying you. Amen in Jesus’ name.

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Credit for image used for graphic: Jackson_Toonz on Pixabay


  • Ossai Chidimma Linda

    Happy Sunday! It is disheartening how parents disregard some effects their words have on their kids, I just wish they could be more understanding and accepting.

    • It is heartbreaking what some children go through. May God fill the gaps in hearts suffering from any lapses of their parents and others they were under as children and help them spread the healing they receive to others in Jesus’ name.

  • Nkwocha chibueze Innocent

    A single word you say to someone might mean a lot to the person and can positively or negatively change a person’s life, talk of the act of abuse and rejection, as humans we should learn how to treat others with kindness and encouragement, no one is perfect, and I don’t think anyone can be, so the much we can do for ourselves is to love who we are.

  • Chinemerem Mbanugo

    Thanks for this inspiring words, ma. It scares me how children all over the world go through verbal and physical abuse on a daily basis under the phrase known as ‘training a child’. It makes no sense and I feel it should stop as it inhibits a child from acting as themselves with others. Most of them have low self esteem as this affects them psychologically. Parents should do better.

  • Iwoba Aṅulịka

    These words speak to me directly. I have seen enough “arrested developments” to understand it. And I agree that healing from abuses that cause it, isn’t something that can be achieved solely by oneself.
    It takes the special Grace of God for one who has been a victim to reclaim one’s fullness. Often, people who do not believe in the miracles of healing by God, escape their inner torment through suicide or rather they imagine that suicide is a sure escape.
    I also think that this should help parents see how much responsibility they bear in improving a child’s psychological wellbeing through speaking kind and considerate words to them. Perhaps, if Jackson’s father were a little more sensitive, the king of pop wouldn’t have had to deal with such instability.

    • Well said, Anulika! May God grant us the wisdom to deal kindly with others and the fortitude to overcome the ill effects of any abuse we may have suffered in Jesus’ name.

  • Amaugo Stephanie Chidinma

    OMG!!! I didn’t know that Michael Jackson had a terrible background. We really need to be careful of what we say to people. Thank you so much Ma for sharing this.

  • Awforkansi Kamsi

    Wow. This is the first time I’m coming across this information about Micheal Jackson.
    Words break people and actions even more. We should all really be mindful of things we say and do. I pray everyone going through something gets help.

  • Winifred ezike

    I must say that sometimes words pronounced on people tend to kill them inside..both adults and kids,african parents mostly do this…also comparison I feel is also another problem we need to target on…tell a young person repeatedly that he or she is ugly ,dull ,or not smart can continuously injure that person confidence and self esteem ,,I pray that parents and individuals get to realize this on time…nice post ma❤️❤️❤️

  • Ejiofor Emmanuel

    Many parents are on this table,either psychological or physical. They seem not to know the bad effects it breeds on their children. Effects like low self esteem, depression, suicidal thoughts and many more. “Some words kill faster than swords do.” A typical African parents thinks that all said end on words. They don’t realise that like a weed, it grows deep into the child, affecting his psychologically.

    Another thing that demoralises children is comparison. It so kills the self esteem of someone to a big extent.

    I think there should be a form of enlightenment using all agents of socialisation so that all parents and potential parents will know about the harms of abuse and avoid or correct such attitudes

  • Obi Chisom Vanessa

    I personally as a fan of Michael Jackson feel heartbroken whenever I hear this. It’s very sad that someone as great as he was couldn’t find solace and peace with himself till death. It really shows that you never really know what a person is going through and no one is above abuse.
    We should all be careful of what we say to people- verbal abuse could be much more destructive than physical abuse.

  • No doubt almost every Nigerian child has been pressurized by their parents by comparing them with their peers…

  • Adiele Onyedikachi

    I am really shocked, I never really knew Michael’s story, no child should go through this and how can a parent insult their own child. This can lead to depression, may God help us control what we say to people.

  • Chukwukanne chinecherem winner

    Parents should be careful on the kind of word and things they say to their children because it can lead them to do things they ought not to do or even lead to depression.

  • Amalu precious

    Micheal’s story is a sad one and it hurts just Everytime I read it. To think that a child had to go through so much pains and lead a sinful life because he was pushed by his own “Father”?. It’s an injury that either leaves a scar or never heals.

  • Uyanna Joseph

    In our country most parents are either fond of saying disheartening things to their children all in the name of scolding without considering the psychological effect that it would have on them or comparing them to their peers and in return it demoralizes them. This writeup should be made available to parents so they can learn how to treat their children better.

  • Agelege Edward

    “Love thy neighbor as you love thy self”. This is an important commandment every individual must adhere to.

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