SEARCHING FOR LOVE (SHORT STORY)
Paris watched Blaise as he slept. He was a restless one alright, even in sleep. There was a faint frown on his face, like he was solving a puzzle. Maybe teaching advanced calculus in the university would do that to you.
She traced her finger from his temple to his jaw. He stirred and caught her hand. He kissed her palm and pulled her close. As she snuggled against him, she felt it was the best time to broach the subject she had been agonising over in the past few weeks.
“You have classes today, don’t you?”
“Hmmm,” he replied, holding her tighter.
“You have classes. That means you need to go home and change.”
“Not for an hour or so,” he responded, caressing the love handles by her side. That was one of the things she loved about Blaise. He never complained about her recent weight gain.
“You know you could save yourself the trouble of running back and forth by moving in.”
There! She’d said it and it wasn’t so hard to do. She and Blaise were both 31 and taught at NYU, she in Physics, he in Mathematics. They’d met at a cafe on campus and had been dating for a little over a year, with him often sleeping over at her flat close to the Greenwich Village, Manhattan campus. The first time was when she invited him over to celebrate their one-month anniversary. He lived in an efficiency apartment on campus and always went back to his place the mornings after their nights together to show up bright and early at the Courant Institute where his office was located. Every single time.
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Paris had hinted that he leave a few clothes at her place but he didn’t. So she bought him some, hoping with those he’d spend two or three days at a row in her place. But he packed them back to his apartment and continued his practice of spending a night with her, then skipping two or three nights before showing up again. The raw situation reminded her of the saying, “You can take a horse to the stream, but you can’t force it to drink.”
Paris wanted more but Blaise wasn’t giving it. So she decided to make the offer that she just did. There never seemed to be a right time to talk about commitment with Blaise which was really what she yearned for. And her immediate past relationship had taught her not to assume anything with a boyfriend. But his silence now proved that Blaise didn’t like her suggestion.
“I do need to get going,” he said, rolling away from her and off the bed.
That stung like a slap. She wasn’t going to pretend she wasn’t hurt. Blaise stood up and began to put on his trousers.
“I just made a suggestion, Blaise.”
“I heard you.”
“And?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He wore his shirt and began to button it.
“Why?”
“Can’t you guess? You’re a smart woman, Paris. And besides, now is not the best time for this conversation. I need to get home and prepare for work.”
“No, I say we have this conversation RIGHT NOW!”
Blaise became annoyed at her insistence. “Fine,” he said, sitting on the bed to wear his socks. Paris came around to face him.
“I love you, Blaise. Why can’t we be together?”
“We are together, Paris.” She noted that he didn’t echo her love declaration and he called her Paris, as he always did. “I just don’t want to lose my own life. I gotta have my own space.”
“I don’t understand. We have 750 square feet of space in this flat. You can have as much personal space as you need.”
“It’s not the same thing. I’m perfectly satisfied with the arrangement we have now.”
“Well, I’m not. It’s either we’re together or we’re not.”
“I can’t give you what you want, Paris; I can’t go beyond what we have now.” Blaise stood up and slid his glasses on.
“I think you’re selfish and afraid of commitment.” Paris was on the verge of tears.
“And I think you’re needy and clinging.”
“I thought we were good together but I guess I was wrong.”
“Watch what you say before you have to eat your words when this blows over.”
“You’re such an arrogant pri#k! I think you should leave now and never come back.”
“Get over yourself, Paris. Why would I want to come back? Next thing I know, you’ll be begging me to marry you.”
“Get out at once!”
“Gladly!” Blaise declared, slipping on his shoes and picking his blazer from where it hung in the closet and leaving.
The moment he left, Paris dissolved into tears.
That would be the fourth man to walk out on her. What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get them to stay? I just want to get married. Why do I keep hooking up with all these commitment phobes?
Blaise said I’m needy and clinging. How is that a bad thing? Shouldn’t a man love a woman who makes him feel so important, whose life seems to revolve around him? All this is so confusing. I think I’m just not cut out for this dating game.
She remembered what she had been taught when she was growing up.
“Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. … Flee youthful lusts. … Pursue holiness without which no man shall see the Lord.”
She really believed and practised that stuff till after her graduation from college. She had been a typical book worm in school and had made a clear 5-point average, which earned her an academic position in her alma mater and a scholarship to do postgraduate studies in Europe. She ended up at Uppsala University in Sweden, where she got a teaching position for additional funding and pursued a doctorate degree in theoretical physics.
Opting to study abroad deepened her loneliness and her inability to cope with it drove her into the arms of one of her professors, Katz. She began to fantasise about settling down in Sweden and raising a family with Katz, only for her to wake up one morning and learn he had accepted a position in Norway. He left a note apologising for letting her down. She was young and beautiful, so she would find someone else soon, he had assured her. (Katz was twenty years older than her.)
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Then there was Gilberto, the Italian painter she had met during a trip to see the city she was named after. Just when she had finished rehearsing the speech with which she would invite him to go back to New York with her, he preempted her by saying he was going back to Italy, to join a monastery!
Upon getting back to New York, she decided to avoid the artsy crowd and go with more cerebral folks. But a romance with a marine biologist, Chad, lecturing at a community college in Brooklyn fell through. She discovered he was married and confronted him. He said he didn’t know singleness was required in their relationship and that he still loved his wife. Paris wanted to ask if he didn’t mean to deceive her, why he hadn’t mentioned his wife in the two years they’d been together. But she decided it was too late – pointless. She later learned his wife was a fashion model and constantly travelling. No wonder the guy could come and go as he pleased. She also recalled that he never invited her home, claiming that the view of Washington Square Park from her place was therapeutic.
And finally, Blaise! Charming, handsome, funny, smart, Blaise! Blaise didn’t know his family. He was raised in an orphanage, same as herself. Although they were taken into foster care as adolescents, they didn’t build close relationships with the families they had been placed in. Paris had assumed she’d found a kindred soul and together, they could heal each other. But while being an orphan made her crave love, it had the opposite effect on Blaise. He embraced his aloneness and maintained superficial relationships with others.
Their differences actually ran deeper. Paris grew up in a church-run orphanage and always had a deep longing for God. She accepted Jesus as her Saviour at the age of ten. Blaise, on the other hand, mocked her religion and told her to grow up, implying that to him, belief in God was an infantile notion.
All Paris was looking for was love. She felt if she got a man who loved her, she would rededicate her life to God and begin to serve Him well. She didn’t think she stood much chance of finding an interesting guy in church. The church folks she knew from her childhood were “stuffy”. But as she wept over the disastrous way her romance with Blaise had ended, it occurred to her that she had been disobedient to God all along. She was living by her own rules but that didn’t make her actions right. She had been seeking love and happiness but she had only found heartache and pain. It was time for her to retrace her steps. She needed to get back to who she was before she travelled abroad. She needed to quit the dating scene. She needed to allow God to take over the saddle of her life once again. His love was superior to any other. It was what she really needed and in time, if He willed, she would have the love of a man under the right circumstances.
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As she was about to kneel beside her bed in prayer, her cell phone rang. It was Blaise. Paris was confused. Should she pick the call? What did he want? She didn’t want to fool herself into thinking Blaise would apologise. Even if he did, what would it actually mean? He certainly wouldn’t be granting her request. If he did, he would resent her in the long run. He could only want to restore the status quo, which would mean hurting her again in the near future. But all this is conjecture. I really don’t know what he wants.
Much as she loved Blaise and was very curious about why he called, she decided it wasn’t nearly as important as what she was meaning to do. It was harder than she imagined (not just ignoring his call but giving Blaise up) and she succumbed to another bout of weeping. She knew the tears would still be flowing intermittently for weeks, maybe months. But for the moment, she pulled herself up from the floor to kneel by the bed and find her way back to God.
-The end-
Ⓒ Edith Ugochi Ohaja 2018
Hi! Hope you enjoyed the story. Would love to get your views on these issues:
Do you think it’s wrong for a man or woman to be “needy” and “clinging” in a relationship?
What’s your take on Paris’ idea that it’s hard to find an interesting partner or spouse in church? (She described church folks as “stuffy”.)
What do you think of the decision Paris took at the end?
Do you have any relationship advice for young adults like Blaise and Paris?
❤
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Am glad Paris finally realized that the right thing to do was to turn to God and let him place her in the hands of a man who was worth her love. Blaise was most likely feeling insecure to move in with her and that made him go heavy on her. But all the same, we should always remember that God’s choice is always the best choice. Happy Sunday, ma!
Happy Sunday, Chinenye! I don’t think Blaise was insecure. I would rather say he’s the fiercely independent type. Thank God he refused. Moving in is no guarantee that the relationship will last or translate into marriage. You are highly blessed in Jesus’ name.
Awwww…..i can’t help but feel pity for Paris. God is the only companion one can ever think of…..nice story MA
Sunday morning inspiration. You cannot be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Once there is a difference in spiritual beliefs or any other clash of sensitive interests, there is bound to be issues. Religious differences are very sensitive issues especially when considering a life partner. It takes strength and grace to cope through it. i’m glad she decided to go back to God for guidance. Only His ways are perfect, plus you cannot depend on human understanding to handle a partner. Also, on the issue of craving love because you lacked parental love and care, once again, it takes only the Grace of God for someone who lacked parental love and care to be emotionally stable later in life. Its effect on individuals differ however. Understanding that no human can give you enough love as the one God showers on you added with self-love, is key. Happy Happy Sunday!!! You’re blessed, ma!
Lovely! You’re super blessed too, my dear!
This is so touching!
It’s really frustrating for a grownup lady not to have a man to call her own and someone that loves her so much. But for me, asking a man to move in with you is really not right because it will look as if you are trying to take control of things, because in our own side of the world, our men always want to do the “providing and taking care of things” and stuffs like that.
I guess it has a continuation but all the same, God always has better plans for us. So dear Paris, just calm down for your blessings are on the way.
Nice comment. But living together would still have been wrong if the guy asked her to move in. We need to get that right. It’s not so much a question of whose house are we living in, as in are we married before living like husband and wife? You are lifted in Jesus’ name.
So touching, i can’t help but feel pity for paris. A lady with such intelligence can’t find love. From one monster of a man to another deceptive person. This is what we ladies get when we accomodate men we ain’t sure of, or when we are desperate in finding a lover. Her final decision was exactly what she needed from the beginning, cx with God every thing is possible and attainable. Nice piece, ma. kudos!!
Desperation leads people to make mistakes, some of them very costly. Enjoy your desired blessings in the coming week in Jesus’ name.
Thank God she realized that being desperate is not the goal. The story is so captivating
Love is very important in our life especially in the lives of we ladies. Most especially when we have gotten to that “marriage age”.
Paris was not wrong asking Blaise to move in with her, I guess she just wanted to know that he is hers n hers alone. But all the same, it’s still not right asking a guy to move in with you, some guys don’t take it lightly and they feel the woman is just trying to control their life and movement.
Love and things filled with it is just so complicated and sometimes heart breaking esp to the women folks. May God help us
Sweetie, cohabitation is wrong. Although they were already living in sin, so the whole relationship was messed up from a Christian point of view. You are favoured in Jesus’ name.
This is what happens when we look for love outside the love that comes from God. Paris wanted companionship from men not knowing that the greatest companion is God. I’m happy that she finally got to realise this. I’ve learnt a lot. Thank you ma
Thank you too, Chidimma! May the Lord guide your steps in Jesus’ name.
God is the only one who can heal us emotionally …seeking him first is the best and he would always bring you love at his own time …nice piece
Correct. God bless you richly, Uchenna, in Jesus’ name.
I see nothing wrong in being needy and clinging oo.. Well, not to a large extent though. But people take their partners as their possession and it works for them. Maybe it depends on the two parties involved.
About church partners being ‘stuffy’, I don’t entirely buy that. Individual differences apply still, even though some are actually stuffed with their faith.
I love her final decisions. She shouldn’t be all out searching for love.
Let love find her. Nice story Ma!!
Glad you enjoyed the story. Have a beautiful week, Vanessa!
wao!
personally i hate needy and clingy people. She went a little too far but i am happy she retraced her steps. She’s smart, intelligent and beautiful. As such she shouldnt be the one doing the search. Every responsible lady is worth being found by not just any man but a good man. Just let God take over the saddle of your life. Nice one, ma.
As the trite saying goes, “Every disappointment is a blessing.” She should thank Blaise for saying no. Have a lovely week, my dear!
Love oh love……
Stories on love are always very fascinating and interesting. Whether it is real or fictional, it keeps me wondering and makes me to understand how important it is to be loved and to love. It’s a wonderful feeling that can never be underestimated when it comes to our actions towards those ones we love.
Paris dear, u need to understand that asking a man to move in with you no matter how rich you are can never help you keep them, rather they will b scared away or even eat ur money and dump u. It pays to wait on God. So I suggest u wait on him, he will surely bless you.
Being needy and clinging in a relationship is not a bad thing but overdoing it is. Not every man like a woman who is too overprotective of him. Paris being so obsessed about marriage is wrong. Marriage is a life time commitment. It is whatever you see, you take it. That is why every man and woman needs God’s intervention in choosing the right marriage partner for them. She can just marry anyone and start having regrets later. She made the right decision by going back to God.
The only person that can give pure peace and love is Christ. its a good thing she found the truth finally and went back to GOD
Yeah. May God help us to correct ourselves when we go wrong before it’s too late.
Yes, it is wrong for a man or woman to be needy and clinging in a relationship because you have to consider the other person, if he or she want that thing you are requesting for in a relationship and it is just like indirectly imposing things on them which is not right. Each person deserves to be free from pressure. I think it is not hard, to find an interesting partner or spouse in church because with prayer and dedication, God will surely show you the right one for you. Yeah, her decision is very okay by me, it shows that she is well trained. Yes, my advice to young adults is that they should take things easy and always pray to God to take control over their life and lead them to the right path.
,
Very good advice. You are splendidly blessed in Jesus’ name.
Wait.. Thank God Paris remembered to get it right with God… I feel God had a reason and she should be thankful dat Blouse said no there is definitely someone better waiting for her.
We are humans and we need people at different points in our life, so being needy and clingy, I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all.. For her past relationships that failed, she ought to remember and leave it to God in prayer… The greatest of LOVE is dat which comes from God; it never fails… That I have learnt. Thank u, Mami!
God way is totally different. In short, happiness comes from him and it goes back to him. Paris went astray in her inadequate knowledge about the God she served initially, she looked for happiness outside God but thank God for her life. She began to think wisely to discover the only source of happiness, which is from the God she left.
The best emotional healing comes from God and not the hands of another man . Paris was too desperate and she didn’t recognize her maker
I don’t blame paris she was deeply in need of a man but its not enough reason to be desperate. She should know that with patience alot can be attained..like the saying always goes patient dogs eats the fattest bone. She’s intelligent and rich as well all she needs is keep praying to God and wait for a genuine man.
Funny how Blaise didn’t see Paris as being clingy at the beginning of their relationship. I guess he doesn’t know that in relationships, both sides can tend to be demanding. Paris’ idea that it’s hard to find an interesting partner or spouse in church, because she feels they’re stuffy, doesn’t mean that they are that bad, I mean there are different strokes for different folks, because she doesn’t find them interesting enough to date them doesn’t mean that there are others that don’t find them attractive. Paris decision of finding her way back to God after the break-up, I believe is the right decision she took because with his guidance she should be able to make the right decision in the future. My relationship advice is before you go into a relationship, think deeply of why you want to go into that relationship. Is it for companionship or sex?
Personally, clingy or needy people aren’t my thing. I love my space, so I can never be comfortable with anyone who clings to me like butter on a hot loaf of Shoprite bread. Let me breathe!
Also, interesting people can be found in church. I’m somehow a church person, and I’m interesting ( if I do say so myself ?). One just has to look well, to find what one finds interesting.
And as for young adults in relationships, do what suits you and your partner. No two relationships are the same, because every individual is different. Don’t trust any of these rule books (except the one I’m writing you now, which is to not trust any rule book), do what makes you (both) happy.
Thank you ma, for the story. If the story were longer, I could have enjoyed Paris’ character the more. More episodes, perhaps?
Clingy partners have a way of making relationships uninteresting. They are no respecters of personal space. It’s essential that one knows when and how to give and utilize personal space. Paris made an excellent decision in the end. What matters is who she intends to be, not who she was. Love will surely find her!
Am not a Woman, but this kind of situation sounds better imagined than experienced…. I pray the youths of our time would be granted the grace to still hold on God even when it’s gets tougher to settle down.
I feel for Paris, it’s so painful that the one thing you want is love but you can’t get it. I don’t blame her that she has gone desperate, after all age is not on her side. Thank God she realized later she needed God, for he grants our wishes patiently in Love. It’s never too late with God.
I worry about the way people see age. Why would a 31-year-old woman feel desperate? And from the story, she didn’t just start feeling that way. #smh And Emmanuel, my dear, don’t ever tell anyone age is not on their side. As long as someone is alive, all things are possible. And people need to learn to be happy on their own, so that they can share that joy with him or her when they find a partner. They should not put their lives on hold, waiting with bated breath for a partner who will be the one to make them happy. Have a beautiful week and remain blessed!
Paris just wanted stability in life, growing up in a foster home and having the craving for Love, family and commitment, without realizing God is the foundation upon whom all those are built. Am glad blaise didn’t move in with her, she probably wouldn’t have seen the need to kneel to God.
Generally, it is wrong for a partner to be using the other as a means to an end..
Hence, we all should always involve God in our relationship in other not to go astray..
Its very nice to see that Paris later start doing things in Gods direction..
Nice piece!!!
Wow you are such a fine writer. The story is a food for thought especially to the youths who thinks that sex is one important factor that keeps men in a relationship. Am happy she has awoken from her illusion. Nice story.
Sex can not keep a man in a relationship and it’s good for her as she realized it on time. It’s also very good for us to know God is very important in our lives and involve him in our relationships.
Great read – I loved that it was set in a different context, locality.
I’ll attempt to answer one of the questions: whether it’s good for people to be needy and clingy in a relationship?
It’s absolutely normal for partners in a relationship to feel this way sometimes. If anything, this shows that they are humane and ready to share their vulnerability with the other person. Being needy and clingy is a sign of vulnerability and our partners could be more understanding when they observe this trait in us, rather than making the other person feel like shit and out of touch. For the one who’s needy and clingy, balance should be sought. If you find that your being needy or clingy is getting in the way of your relationship, learn to draw a balance and find subtler, less aggressive ways of getting the attention of your partner. It’s a big issue with emotions, so it’ll be useful to put a check on your emotions, pray for yourself and the other person and let your vulnerable soul find succour and peace in the arms of Jesus who’ll heal you and make your emotionally stable.
No one wants a partner that would stifle or suffocate them in a relationship. Human beings always need some sort of space, sometimes, no matter the kind of relationship, including marriage.
Well said, Chikezie! Glad to have you weigh in on this. I agree that if not properly handled, the needy party will feel neglected or even maltreated while the other party will feel harassed. Have a beautiful evening and stay blessed.
Personally i feel clingy partners are those who are insecure, they sometimes make you want to go crazy because they dont understand when you need space, thank God paris later made the right decision
One thing we ladies refuse to understand is that sex doesn’t keep a man, men always appreciate ladies who carry themselves with pride and are wiling to keep themselves until marriage. Though they may not say it, but deep down in thier hearts they value those kind of women. It is one thing to love, then another is to be loved. Someone who doesn’t love you will never do no matter hard you try and no matter how much sex and sacrifices you are wiling to give…
I’m glad Paris didn’t allow regret and depression to blind her on what the future holds…it is only God that can help us overcome these kind of problems and I’m glad she realised that…
One important lesson I learnt from this story is to always be sincere in my dealings with God because he might want to test us to know if we are really sorry for our sins…Blaise’s call to Paris was just a test to know if she was wiling to walk with God again… And she didn’t disappoint him…
This is really interesting!
Any relationship that is not God fearing will finally diminish. Cling onto God and he will direct your paths. Paris is very determined in finding love. So therefore, putting God aside. There is a way that seemeth right unto man but that way leads to destruction. Is very wise of Paris to surrender everything to God. A good man will come at the right time. God’s time is always the best.
I really wonder why paris will be searching desperately for love when she can get it from God,and with Gods own love, she can actually get a man who will remain hers for ever, from one man to another?it doesnt just work that way…..we should all learn how to package ourselves, keeping ourselves as women pays,we may think its not working but bet me it is,because if we honor God he will also honour us,it may be long but will surely come to pass, i love the fact that paris recognised Gods presences,and make the right decision to cling to him, and i believe that God being on her side,she will get a man that will love and cherish her….my advice to all the young lady out there is not to be desperate at all,because if u are, u may end up not getting what u want or u may end up making the wrong decision. Lets remeber that marriage its a journey,the ball is on our court to either make d journey a smooth one or a rough one……i really enjoy this story ma May God keep blessing u…… I can now start a smooth day with this piece
Beautiful narrative here. Paris was just single to stupor sha and she began to assign characters to people who had no similarities with what she wanted hence continuously getting her fragile, lonely heart broken. Thank God she finally found true and unquenchable love.
This story made me smile and cry at the same time…
Finally paris realized!! She needed the help of God to find and keep a partner. Men of our generation will say who ”sex till marriage” help? Truth be told is that many of them deep down in their hearts respect women who carry themselves of high esteem, not clingy and have aspirations for themselves. However, one thing is to love and also be loved. It has to be a two way direction. When you find out that your relationship is not heading the right direction, you immediately unyoke yourself from your partner. Finally, you need God to direct your relationship.
According to Myles Munroe in his book,”Single and Dating”.He said “You are only ready to date when you don’t feel like it”.This means that you have to be independent as a person not seeing relationship or dating as something that makes you complete as a being. Needy and clingy people aren’t the best in any relationship, they always like pest and usually toxic in any relationship .I think the best decision for Paris to take is to seek the face of the Lord first for genuine love and not humans .
Paris seemed really clingy in this story but i can relate to her plight. I understand why she would want a more permanent relationship like marriage after being raised in a foster home all her life. Anyway, i really don’t think Blaise was the right one for her,especially because of their parallel belief in God. I’m glad in a way that he said no. She can now let God take the lead in her life. Beautiful story Aunty
Can’t believe that blaise rejected her offer, but that is what we see in this century we are now in. many men want to enter into relationship without commitment, they have thrown away real love nd focus on sex, sex, sex…..
Sex is meant for married people, dnt know why youths these days don’t want to respect their bodies anymore. our body is the temple of God nd not for sexual intercourse but yet some of us stil engage ourselves into staining themselves….
Paris, my dear, if you really want your relationships to be lasting long, learn to respect and keep yourself for the right man…sex doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will last, rather it creates lack of trust, devilish spirit and disrespect in that relationship
God ordained sex for legally married people only and not just random people…..
Sex without being married is sin…..dnt lose your pride because you want to keep a man…any man that is meant for you will always respect and stay with you even without sex.
This story reminds me of a relative who was desperate for love…. She’s still desperate… If only she can turn to God to show her the way like Paris did…
Wow this is what we young girls encounter ,but I will say it is so because most of us young girls don’t wait for love to find us we find love on our own and that is why it doesn’t last ,for paris I think what her problem was is that she was faster than her shadow so in that case all the guys in her life were pissed because it was more like she was forcing them in some area of their lives which as human no matter how u love someone you will still need your private life outside the relationship ,so my advice is for her to be calm in terms of searching for love she should love herself before looking for someone to love her,beside God loves her and that is the most important thing.
i feel pity for Paris, but it’s God over everything.
God always has good things in stuck for this kind of person but the problem is do you recognize his voice nd how did he call you..
One might think its only in your hrt or even in your ears but God has different ways of calling different people..Paris will see testimonies as she has remembered she is of God. God needs us to live a pure and straight life…so we can attain his blessings for us.
Desperation can make us loose our faith in God. Paris was desperately searching for a life companion. She took steps wasn’t meant to take. Steps she wouldn’t have taken if she had allowed Jesus take the lead. She nearly forgot that Jesus has the answers to all our problems and of course the Love she was searching for. Asking a man who is not legally married to you to move in with you is not both right scripturally and morally. It will not just cut you off from your maker but will make the man feel less of himself. One thing we should know is that we are nothing without Jesus. He alone has the key to our life. He is no respecter of any man. He has the final say in our lives. Imagine after all the nasty steps Paris took to secure her dream companion yet she failed. But thank God she realized her mistakes and took the right decision by letting Jesus take the lead in her life. We should never let the desires of our heart rob us of the blessings in Christ Jesus. God bless you ma.
Its really sad for a lady to not find love in the city of love (Paris) but thats not compulsory because without even knowing you’ll become desperate and that’s not a good place for a lady to be in for marriage because you can’t force love…it grows naturally. Thank you ma
Religious differences are very sensitive issues when considering a life partner. Most people who don’t take them seriously may have issues in the long run because God has and will always be important in everything including marriage
Sincerely I wouldn’t blame thd young lady for being “needy”and “clingy” the young man only said so only because he does not truly love her .. I thank God she retraced her steps. Though it’s not easy to suffer emotional deprivation as a young girl, I still and will always thank God for the Love of Jesus Christ.
Paris didn’t have to go to France to see the light, thank God for her. Patience is a virtue
The most important thing in love is finding someone you are compartible and happy with. Most time being clingy and needy can be seen as romantic and enjoyable to your partner, some will see it as disgusting. It is good for lovers in an affairs of friends to know and understand their partner. I’d recommend the book ‘The Five Love Languages’ for anyone wanting to know how best to satisfy their partner and show them how much they are really loved because humans respond the love differently.
Love is a two way step, it’s reciprocal in nature but it pains alot if it’s one sided. Sex can never keep a man or any relationship and their is no love outside GOD. Thank God that Paris later turned back to God despite all her past mistake.
Nice story. Paris, really went through a lot, how many men dumped her just in a jiffy? Indeed love is a really difficult and stressful thing, it takes the grace of God to find the right person.
Being needy and clingy is not bad per se in a relationship , it shows some level of value one person feel for the other in a relationship, but over doing it is where the problem lies, it makes the person being clinged upon to feel superior and that the other cannot do without him/her. nice piece ma.
Being needy or clingy in a relationship is a part of a person’s personality, it is like a behavior that one cannot easily change (except due to some considerations). However, there is an extent to which the man or woman can tolerate it…Some people see it as being desperate but the desperate move in the story was asking him to move in. Her decision at the end is not bad at all and church folks are not ‘stuffy’,??you can find very good people in church. I would advise that Paris should keep healthy relationships, having agreed to let God lead, she should fully let God in. Irrespective of whatever the flesh desires. Keeping yourself holy in a relationship is always a plus for you never a minus. As for Blaise, he wants to keep getting sexual gratification without any long term commitment. That is so immature of him. Instead of wasting the young ladies’ time he should look for one person to get married to or visit a brothel in the night since wants short sexual pleasures. Infact in Paris’ voice, he should ‘get out’ The story is quite an interesting read. ???
Oh no! We should never advise someone to consort for the working ladies of the night. That’s a no-go area. But otherwise, your comment is wonderful.
Thank God she realized her mistakes and went back to God because asking a man to live with you a young lady is wrong especially when you are not married . And to her saying you can’t find a husband /man in church is not true , there are many young handsome and caring men in church searching for a wife .
It’s okay to be needy and clinging in a relationship but what’s not okay is when it’s too much. And not all church folks are stuffy am a church girl and am not stuffy…… love can be found in your place of worship it all depends on your mindset. We all desire a love so pure devoid of heartaches but we can only be in that kind of relationship if only we allow Everything to flow in its time….. no age is late for love to happen, it’s high time we all change that perception that there is an age limit for marriage. In as much as Paris has suffered alot in relationships as a young girl she shouldn’t give up on love but rightly rededicate herself to God , so that he can fashion the right relationship which will meet all her taste. This story should have another episode ma.
Nice inspiring story for we the youths. God is the only way to our success; educational, spiritual, morally and even in our relationship with the opposite sex.
When God is in the center of our relationship sex before marriage wouldn’t be an option. Keep it coming ma.
It is good for one to know himself or herself in this life. Women should not be needy and clinging over man for unknown account, because human being are not meant to be trusted we cannot avoid dating our opposite partner since nature design it that way. Women should give little of their trust to men and the rest to God, to avoid emotional trauma by men. My advice to girls, ladies picking up another guy when the person fail you is bringing yourself down to the people. When your partner is not doing well be able to manage and accept his mistake, if you do say sorry. If the person fail to say sorry be able take your case to God who know the best, not when things become uncontrollable we seek the face of the Lord for mind and body repair. Thanks Ma for this article is the most lovable poem I ever read. God bless you beautifully.
Wow! It’s really cool to see the new change from the usual native writeup, I love the western setting.
We fall into wrong hands or face most challenges because we took decisions without God’s direction. God’s direction is key in every man’s life. Although Paris realised that late…i am glad she did.
Waoo!am really inspired.Am happy that Paris eventually find out that ‘God is the lender of last resort’.l strongly believe that God’s time is the best, Paris was desperately looking for a husband without consulting God and that kept bringing disappointment to her.May God continue to bless your handwork ma
I think, ti is wrong for a man or woman to be needy and clingy in any relationship, I mean we are humans and imposing things indirectly on one partner is wrong, I think it is nice, there are a few interesting partner in church. Paris made the right choice to put God first to seek his help.
i don’t think its really cool for a lady to be too needy and clinging because i feel guys will always see it as pestering, they should be the one to be too clinging and not the other way round.
i do not think all church folks are stuffy it depend on the individual, i’ve heard someone say that she cannot marry a deeper life or watchman guy because they are not romantic. but i still insist its individual trait.Paris took the wisest decision because when you start allowing guys to mess up with you, you wont be regarded as anything.
my advice for youths is that they should learn from this story they should not wait to be victims before they can learn. it is true that it is said that experience is the best teacher but i tell you that another person’s experience should be our greatest teacher, we should not fall victim before we learn because sometimes the stories may not end like that of Paris.
Its not bad if a lady is clingy but in as much as she needs her man she should as well give him his space. Paris shouldn’t have invited blaise over to her place to live because they aren’t married yet and he as a guy will see it as an insult. Well I love her choice at the end that God is the greatest companion and seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto you including love and the right man. Lol. Nice piece ma
A very wonderful and inspirational story. Paris made the right choice in turning back to God, He said “ask and it shall be given”.
Paris was the kind of girl that placed all her happiness in man, she craved that oneness and the men she got involved with took advantage of this fact. So many women are exactly like paris, it only shows we’re humane. My advice to ladies is, When looking for a life partner it is best to have a list, dictating the qualities you want the man to possess, for example: He must be God fearing, able to face financial challenges, well brought up (physically, spiritually, academically) etc. Its an example, not my list. You dictate what you want and when you start dating, begin to check the qualities and cross out the ones he doesn’t possess so as to avoid blaming yourself and God when problems surface.
Remain Blessed.
Like most people will say, age is just a number. it shouldn’t be considered as a basis for love, let alone marriage. anyway, for me i don’t see any problem with being clingy in a relationship, depending on the different definition we all might ascribe to it.
It’s actually not a bad thing if lovers always cling to each other, irrespective of age. I actually don’t see anything wrong with that, besides it can help to strengthen a relationship, and make the lovers in question grow fond of each other
What an interesting story.
Indeed, God is the ultimate. He said we should call upon Him in times of trouble and He will answer us. I realized that Paris suffered this much in the hands of men because she so much believe that once you are beautiful, that everything is good including finding true love. But thank God that she realized it’s not by her power but by the spirit of God. I’m glad the story ended well. God bless you ma for this wonderful piece.
In this life there’s always a need to put God first and ask for his divine in a relationship, the Lord Said our body is a temple of the holy spirit, so we should not just give a man our body just like that without him realising our self worth. In any relationship there’s a need for patience and understanding. For ladies we ought to understand our man and know whether he is for the cookies or for love of settling down with you before attempting to have sex. Sex is a virtue from God so we should keep it well for the right person though Gods intervention. Even when the right person has come, we shouldn’t give ourselves just like that because of the sake of marriage. Self discipline and self control is needed here if not Guys will take advantage of that. It is always nice to wait for Gods time because Gods timing is always the best.
Great write up ma, more power to your elbow.
The decision Paris took at the end was the best decision because God is the ultimate helper and He can help us make the right decisions especially in relationship matters.
Marrying someone from the church is not a bad idea, is even the best because you can find a well committed christian in the church.
Asking a man to move into your house without marriage is asking too much. Paris i think is desperate to settle down that is why she easily falls in love and expects more from the opposite sex. Thank God she found out that God is the right next step
Finally, being too clinging in a relationship is not a good thing. Some people need space. That is what Paris is failing to see. Also living together with unbelievers always has its consequences, as the saying ‘if you cant beat them, you join them’. Very intresting post.
The truth is that Paris was too desperate, desperate to the extent of asking a man (Blaise) to move in with her, which to me is totally wrong. But, I’m happy with the decision she took at the end, which is going back to the Lord, whose love never fails. If only she took this decision earlier when with professor Katz or even with Gilberto, I’m very sure she’d have been a better person and avoided unnecessary heartache and pains in her relationship life.
In everything we do there is need for us to always acknowledge the presence of God to avoid disappointment and waste of time and resources and I’m glad she realized this on time
The ultimate good for a godly daughter is not to find a man to be in a serious relationship with. It is to build a personal relationship with Christ. To have fellowship with the Spirit. The bible, I remember, says that the man would search for himself.
I think that men are like lions, they just want to hunt, not hunted for. A man who does not want to commit does not want to, he is aware that he is not into whatever the lady thinks that they are having.
There are interesting potential partners in the church. Just that parties who enter into relationships, must first know where it leads. I mean, as Christians, we’ve been committed with so much work that we cannot afford to entangle ourselves with things that are not in alignment with the call.
For Paris, navigating her way back to God is the the way forward.
The saying that God choice is the best actually came through here.Paris a young lady couldn’t find love after everything but decided to look up to God to decide who the right man for her is
God is love and love is God, Paris made a big mistake by following her instinct instead of clinging to God and hoping for the best. Loneliness can be frustrating sometimes and can lead to desperation thereby leading to mistakes on the long run but with God you feel fulfilled. Cohabitation is a sin in the first place and secondly asking Blaise to move in with her is too desperate. Though deprived of that parental love and that of siblings, i believe you don’t force love; you can only show love and surely love will locate you. Thank God that she realize her mistake later on and made the right decision.
interesting story ma. i understand what it means for a girl not to have a man in her life especially when she is of age ,its really frustrating. but all we need is God guidance cos all that glitters is not gold.me myself am against cohabitation , i believe u should wait after marriage to live together. am happy God helped her to realize her mistake nd choosed the right thing. God help us all
Firstly Paris was wrong to have forgotten that the first love you need to find is the love of God, but then she could have read the hand writing on the wall the time she bought some clothes for him in her house but then he insisted on staying at his home. that alone is alarming to me. Blaise on the other hand has his blame why contradict someone life when you really do not want the person…. ma your story was awesome ??
The best way to fill in loneliness is by clinging to God, paris thought that by getting married she could fill in that void of loneliness by getting married. Even though growing up in a foster home without parental love and care is very hard and frustrating for a child but love is one of the purest feeling anyone can have it cant be forced. thank God she realized that Jesus is what she needs.
One of our greatest needs as human beings is to be loved. When we doubt that we are loved, we may act irresponsibly in a desperate attempt to get attention. Attention is a poor substitute for love but it seems better than nothing at all. The good news from God’s Word is that somebody does. To know Him is to find release from the crippling effects of feeling unloved. Whenever we are tempted to think that nobody loves us, we need to think of the cross. Jesus bore that shame and suffering because He loves us. He values us so highly that He was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to secure for us eternal joy. That is the epitome of love. If Paris had continued with her love of God, she wouldn’t have had those unnecessary disappointments in her life. But praise be to the most high that she finally did correct her path in life.
Wow! What a lovely and educating story. Paris should have waited on the Lord to find her true love, she forgot so soon how she was raised in the fear and love a God. Soon, when she had departed and lost the feel of the presence of God, she became lonely and then began to crave for love forgetting that it’s only the love of Christ that can never run dry. Am glad she realized eventually. Even when we feel we are alone God is always with us. God bless you Ma for another beautiful inspiring story. More grace to your elbows.
When a Lady is needy in a relationship, I don’t think it’s good at all though desperation can make you do things you may later regret, as ladies we shld not forget our pride or dignity… I wld commend Paris for the bold step she took at the end, it’s actually not too easy wen som1 has strayed to go back.. And we shld always remember this “marriage is honourable unto all, and the bed undefiled” she started all her relationships on a bad footing that’s y it did not work out
Oh Paris, what a pity? This is lesson for all: the dangers of cohabitation. All in all I talk God for his intervention.
Inspirational indeed,this story reminds me of one of my friend that confided in me that the reason he got married to his wife is because the girl told him that if he is really in love with her that he should go and pay her bride price before they could have any affair. Ladies don’t think that giving ur whole self to a man will make him to marry you rather it will deduct your dignity.Worship your God and wait for his time,because the bible made us to understand that God’s time is the best.
This story reached the youth of today about the need to involve God in your relationship, they tend to put man first before God, His time is the best so we shouldnt go ahead of Him. Paris took a wrong decision by telling Blaise to move in with her, in a Christian angle its so wrong. But to God be the glory that her eyes opened after five failed relationship, I will say its better late than never. I will also recommend this story to both single and those who are in a relationship in order for them to think twice and involve God in their decision making.
when you let God lead in your life everything falls into place, you get that which is meant for you. Paris discovered this after a fourth attempt on dating, some never discover it till its too late
It’s not right to be clingy in a relationship but sometimes it happens. Mostly because, you find both a partner and sometimes a best friend in such person. Some people are naturally clingy even as friends and would always want to be with you everytime of the day. This story is for every single man or woman out there looking and searching for love. Remember to always put God first
It has always yielded awful results whenever we attach a desperate dispostion to our needs, as desperation only makes us blind towards future repercussions of certain actions we take in order to get whatever was wished for. Paris made this mistake, she threw caution to the wind and opted to adopt a desperate approach to evereything she longed for, hence the numerous dissapointments and setbacks.
The story is an epitome of what happens in our society as regards relationships and love affairs. In life, there is need to exercise patience in all that we do and most especially, putting our trust and hope in God, no matter the circumstances that we involve ourselves with. Thank you for that wonderful story. It’s really an educative story as well.
It is not easy for one who had gone to that extent to retrace steps back to God. We can find all in God and Paris did know that. It’s shear impatience that pushed her out of God’s way for the first time. Her mistake equally happens to people in different ways – those who seek money; those that seek the womb’s fruit etc. The most important thing remains that we should not stray from the right way and perchance one does, he/she should retrace steps back to God. Wish you a happy Easter.
She shouldn’t have left God at first. But i’ll not judge her because she is a human. That she got back to God at last would correct all her mistakes. That is the best solution. The church has the most interesting people. I will not mind her for that. anyway, welldone Ma.
Paris later came to the understanding that it is God first before any other thing or person. She failed to give herself much value and tag that was why different men treated with little or no value or commitment.
i’m happy she retraced her step back to God,and i know God will fill her her with his unending mercy.
This story is a very nice one ma, and also a story that teaches us about how to take things gradually in our relationships with people.
Paris was a desperate lover who was looking for love and pleasure, and she was falling into the hands of wrong men. I believe going into bed with someone should be on marital basis. If not, it’s against God’s law. Am happy Paris found herself in God’s way and sought him.
Paris always had a longing for love in her life. She is an orphan so obviously the thought of why her parents abandoned her would have crossed her mind. She wants to fill the space of love, warmth and happiness in her life and unfortunately she thought a man could fill it. She tried to establish relationships with men but she never tried with God who is meant to be her main concern. This last relationship taught her lessons and this is one of them: not to worry about anything and ask God for everything you need – Philippians 4:6.
She decided to go back to go to God, go back to the way she was when she was practising Christianity, she figured out that as she had been trying to please any man that comes into her life by giving them her body, she was actually displeasing God greatly. After she realized that her body is the temple of the most high God, she went back to him, she learnt the she shouldn’t compromise her faith in desperation and trust that true love will find her.
In Reference to the Questions Asked:
Showing the importance of someone exceedingly and frequently makes them become the main source of your happiness. The relationship will become tiring for the less clingy person…it’s good to show your partner how important he or she is but there is a limit to everything i.e too much of everything is bad.
Paris isn’t right or wrong about church people being stuffy, it just depends on the person. It is wrong for her to reach a conclusion about church people just by meeting two or three of them. Some are…yes, but certainly not all, she just has to look hard enough.
The desicion that Paris made at the end is the best desicion to me. I was very proud of her and I hope she maintains that lifestyle henceforth.
My advice for young adults is to wait, God’s time is the best time. Stay in your lane and in your own time frame. Don’t move faster than your shadow and do not displease God in order to please man.
I personally like the decision Paris made at the end . you can’t put your social life ahead of God and neither can you neglect him. God has a way of putting obstacles in our way to remind us that he is still there for us and am happy that Paris figured this out before it was too late. It is very hard to find a partner in the Christian church but I believe that God has someone for us and its just a matter of time before he or she is revealed to you , you just have to be patient.
I think Paris has finally realised that to find true and lasting love,she has to cling first and always to God,the source of love and love itself.My advice to people like Blaise and Paschal would to take time to heal especially in their singleness, instead of running from one partner to the other,seeking solace which only God can grant.
Wow! It’s an interesting one. Paris should know that every one is in his or her own time zone.When it’s the right time , the true lover will come.The quest for relationship do not hasten the right man to come around but draws one closer to the possibility of getting into emotional problems. Church guys are not stuffy dear.I think she’s having difficulties rolling with people of high moral standards.Check Blaise, Kartz …Well,She is at it.Reconciling with God.In him lies her solution.
It is not advisable to be needy and clinging in a relationship, because the other will feel choked and can take advantage of the other who is needy. I cant begrudge paris comment of church boys being stuffy, for those ‘spiritual brothers’ most times dont know how to be romantic. Her decision to finally go back to God, is worth applauding. For true love comes only from God.
Advice to young lovers is not to rush into relationships and not be so emotionally attached, learn that we surely will meet some wrong people before meeting the right ones. Thank you.
Paris need for companionship and love that she never really expressed because of the fact that she was an orphan drove her into desperation. It is said that there is an appointed time for everything all she needed was God and no one else because when she is with him he will feel every void and when it is time he would connect her to the person made to compliment her. She made a right decision turning to him.
I am glad Paris realised that she needs to run to God…its only in him that one can find true and pure love..
Women always feel that, to be complete, they would need a man. It is not true at all. Thank God Paris realized this. The love of God is the only thing that can heal every pain and rejection and desperation. Paris’ desperation for marriage came out of longing for love. But, God comes first and His love is untamed and endless. Its a good thing Paris found her way back to God.
Paris made a mistake by not waiting for God’s approval and time before she blindly moved in with Blaise .We should always put God first and just like the prodigal son’s father God would always give us a warm embrace when we sincerely go back to him.
This story really potrays what really happens with young ladies in the real world. Being an orphan should not be an excuse to seek for love around in the way Paris did. God’s love is enough and is all we need, and once we have God’s love, we have all the love in the world. For Paris, God is willing to forgive and accept her if she’s willing to turn to him.
A great work Ma. I love your choice of words.
Thank God that Paris made the right decision by turning back to God, God’s time is the best but most of today’s youth will not understand this
This shows that, at times when one is doing something or is in need of a particular thing desperately, we may not know the reason behind that action, Paris really wanted love or companionship that Was why she was so eager to hook up with a guy or get married.. But it was not forth working out, she now has to pull her self together and withdraw her footsteps, and even had to turn to God to seek direction… And to find a genuine love.
We should also put God into consideration in virtually all that we do, even before we think of doing such a thing and ladies should not always be desperate about having a guy or for marriage…
An interesting piece Ma…
Paris felt lonely and this led her into a mess that took her years to discover that. Paris was bold enough to take decision she made by asking Blaise out of her life and as well letting go and letting God.God is the only one who can love you more and give you the true Love you deserve
Love is a beautiful thing. But when embedded in the tenets God is the best. We should not beg love. It will always find us. Paris was needy and clingy. Asking Blaise to come live with her is wrong.
Paris felt lonely and led her into messing up. Which took her years to discover. Paris was bold enough to take decision by asking Blaise out of her life, letting go and letting God. God is the only one who can love you more and give you the true love you deserve
It is important to put God first in everything we do. It is better to hold onto God than to hold onto any human because they can disappoint you at any time. If Paris had held onto God and believed in him that a good man who will love and cherish her will come her way, she wouldn’t have experienced the kind of relationship she had with the four men she had been in a relationship with. But, im glad that in the end, she realised her mistakes.
Paris was only being desperate because of the way she was raised. She felt she needed love and attention from men,little did she know that God’s love supersedes . Thank God she realized her mistake at last.
Also,it is very wrong for unmarried couples to live together. Blaise was right to have disagreed,as in every relationship,before marriage, space is highly required.
Thank God for Paris, there is always time and season for everything but to be patient for the right time and season is a virtue. Its was good Paris realized this. We should learn not to push for things by force and without the consent of God because as much as we push and God is not interested, we end up having bad results, When we hope on God, he always give us the best at the right time and not working in our own ways. Thank you ma.
“Needy” and “clinging” hmmmm… To be needy and clinging in a relationship isn’t wrong, the problem comes when the person loses his/her confidence and belief in self in the process. Paris made a great decision at the end, cos It’s only God that can lead one to true love and happiness. My advice is, find God and every other thing will fall into place.
It is always good to ask for the divine help of God in any stage of life we are in because he will make things to turn out better for you, thank God that she found out her mistakes and seeked for God’s help.
This is an interesting piece, love stories can be so entertaining. We must not rush into relationship or being clingy to the opposite sex because it can cause a whole lot of harm than good. As a lady we must persevere and should not rush to get things most especially when it pours down to relationships. We must look up to God always because he alone is love. Nice one Ma…
Every one has one who truly loves them,and there is a man meant for a particular woman, the only problem is that most people get their hearts broken by the wrong guy or the wrong bae. If only we can exercise a little more patience and not be in a hurry to find love, we will in due to meet our perfect match.
It’s a good thing paris spoke out on time, if not she will still be loving the wrong guy. I don’t really see anything wrong for a woman to be needy and clinging in a relationship, she just only want to be loved and thats not wrong. Paris did the right thing in calling out to God and giving up on blaise
I don’t think being clingy is wrong because sometimes we can’t help it when the heart wants something so much but when desperation comes with it then one is bound to all sorts of mistakes.
Young Paris was clingy and desperate to love,be loved and settle down (that was her major problem which led her into sin and wrong decisions) and who would blame her cos of her background…every woman needs that but before you venture into any relationship, you should first pray and ask for God’s grace on decision making(try to have a personal relationship with Christ) engage in a productive conversation with him/her to know what your partner actually wants in life.
Religious differences might be an issue but it can be managed actually because I believe what God requires of us is to be good and pure at heart, so one can actually find a spouse in a “stuffy” Christian.
I think the story already said it all and I hope we youths learn that its actually never too late to track back to God who is ever willing and ready to forgive and love his children.
actually you cant get to your destination through through the wrong route.the attitude by which Paris craved for love was really wrong(that’s the wrong route that cant lead you to your destination) though its expedient to love and to be loved, she was choking the men around him with “love” which will always make them get rid of her. moreover its a nice story and a strong advise to the youths. thanks and God bless
I think Paris’ neediness is the reason why she has all these failed relationships. People like thier space and being too clingy in a relationship can make your partner feel suffocated. However i don’t think you can’t find a good partner in church. They are great people in the church who are ready to commit Paris is just being very selective. Its good she finally decided to go back to God, thats the only way to find true happiness. We should not compromise our principles and standards for anything, God has a plan for everyone. Very insightful story here ma.
God is love. All the love that Paris needs she would find in him, men would surely disappoint but God’s love never fails.
Being an orphan should not be an excuse to seek for love around in the way Paris did. Paris desperation to find love almost pushed her to make a costly mistake. It is always good to ask for the divine help of God in any stage of life we are in because he will make things to turn out better for you, thank God that she found out her mistakes and sought for God’s help.
Nice piece ma, may God bless you
wow nice writeup ma this story teaches us that we must not engage in boy-girl relationship before we get married to the man that will be our husband and even if we engage ourselves in such we should not engage in sexual intercourse with the person because our body is the temple of the holy spirit and sex does not determine how long we are going to live on earth and it does not also determine whether we love the person or not.
A strong lesson to we all youths to first seek the kingdom of God and every good shall be added unto you. From former advices I have heard, as a young woman you wouldn’t get the respect you expect if you let your whole life revolve around a man but if you give him space, make him fight for your time you will be shocked at the outcome. So take your time, fulfil your dreams don’t let any man limit you. God bless.
I think Paris got it all wrong.when we are desperate about something,we either kill for it or it kills us.when we love without christ is lust.marriage shouldn’t be a do or die affair. We should learn how to trust and wait upon the lord.Because God’s time is the best.wonderful write up ma.i feel blessed with these ma.
God is love and his love is the best men would surely disappoint but God’s love never fail
Takes courage to do anything no matter how little it might seem. Paris really did a great thing to overcome her fear and decided to cling to God who has all the answers she would ever need or even the loved which she had longed for, for so many years in her life now.
Its definitely not wrong for a woman to be in need of love but going the right way about it, is what counts which is what Paris lacked for a very long time. Finding just the right person in church is not so as Paris had put it!
For young adults I’d say: you must be holy as your body is the temple of God. Having to love someone is not bad but do it the right way!
Paris was very desperate to settle down. In this our world today, a lady do not need to show a man how desperate or serious she is in getting married so that the man will not take her for granted.
This story is really nice and touching; sometimes its not best to take the situation into your hands, Paris was really desperate for a man’s love and marriage that she forgot that God’s time is the best, it may take long but what’s destined for you will always be yours. This story teaches that love does not revolve around sex i.e you can’t tie a man down with sex, If the man is yours, sex or not nothing will make him leave you or give him double mind.
We should not be desperate for anything, decide to serve God and you will see him settle anything that needs to be settled. God’s time is the best. Paris actually made the right decision by trying to let go.
It’s a good thing that Paris came to the realization that there is no greater love than God’s love and also knowing that youthful lusts would have nothing to offer compare to God’s love. God is love and one had to love God.
Love and relationship are two simple words but they are very complicated, when you do not understand them and what they are all about,u might be swollen by them. Paris and blaise didn’t help their relationship as students and children of God. I thank God that Paris was not a numb, and she later stood to her faith in God. We should always let true love to come to us and not being in a haste and chase for it. But above all, we should seek for God’s mercy in anything we do. The story is very interesting and can help many. NICE ONE MA
Read carefully, my dear! They were neither students nor children of God. However, Paris once had a relationship with God.
Sex is not a grantee for marriage .If Paris had held onto her faith and what she was taught she wouldn’t have suffered so many heartbreak.
I really love the decision Paris took at the end of this story, to go back to God because he said that we should seek his kingdom first and every other things shall be added unto us. Loving someone is a beautiful thing and being in a relationship is not bad thing the most important thing is putting God first in everything you are doing and be patient enough to wait for his blessings at the right time he will surely bless you.
Thank you ma! for this wonderful story.
Really she is needy and clinging, how do you expect to marry someone you freely give yourself to.ThankGod she finally found God,there is nothing you can do outside Him,even relationship.
Thank God for Paris, she’s lucky to have found her way back to God. Desperation can’t get her love, as she has found out she only ended up messing with her body. Love will come to her when it will,she just needs to define her life and be focused.
Paris really did the right thing by not going after Blaise. I like how she was strong and went to God in prayer. The right man will surely come to her. Not to mention he didn’t even believe in God. In fact, i think their differences will even hinder their relationship. Perfect ending ma
GOD IS OUR FOREVER FRIEND…PARIS DID WELL BY RETURNING TO GOD, SO AS TO LAY HER EMOTIONAL BURDENS AT HIS FEET. NICE PIECE YOU’VE GOT HERE.
Everyone loves to be loved and when any comes by, those who desperately need to be loved, always cling. Good news is, God’s love is above any human and only him loves us regardless. For those who think they need to be shown love, God has always been showing you love. Know this.
Paris did a lovely thing by saying no to desperation and running back to God for guidance. Love will surely come to her blaise wasn’t the right person for her and she knew it all along. God always has a perfect match for us.
Its always good to look out for God first in everything we do because he is the author and finisher of our faith.
Being clinging and needy can make or mar a relationship so we should be very careful. I also believe in this story that everything happens for a reason and without all the disappointment Paris wouldn’t have acknowledge our creator.
Thank God she took the bold step that will lead to absolute peace of mind.
Being clinging and as woman is not really bad but then it can cause havoc in a relationship depending on their personalities. In this contemporary world,people feel and believe that church brothers and sisters are old school but not withstanding that,they are good, caring and loving ones.
Am so impressed with the step Paris took, God is the giver of everything so let us pray and hopefully wait on our creator to bless us bountifully.
For me, I think its wrong for a man and woman to be needy and clingy on a relationship because he or she will look desperate. I think Paris’ idea of describing church folks as stuffy is wrong. Some of them may be fun and different deep down only if one sticks around. However, the decision Paros took at the end is the best because it is only God that can make a way where they seems to be no way and only Him can make things right. My advice to youths that are into a relationship is to always put God first before anything else because only Him can help You make the right decisions.
Honestly.. .I dnt like d idea of her not picking dt call. ..We don’t know what he had to say.. Bt apart from dt. ..Going bk to God is d best decision.. .Because God is love and anything done outside Him in d name of love z nothing …
We always need to involve God in our everyday life. People shouldn’t be so desperate, they should always look unto God for directions. We also need to involve God in our relationships in order not to go astray. Am happy that Paris was later led in the direction of God.
Desperation can be very bad in every girl’s life. When you are desperate, you lack your sense of judgment and rationality.
Paris was too desperate and her character is the perfect description of what many young ladies of today pass through in their quest for a lover.
How can a lady in her right senses ask a guy to move in with her in her own apartment? That sounds weird. If she were to be the guy, would she have agreed?
My spiritual director will always tell me to make Jesus my first love and consider him first in whatever I do and then allow him to pilot my life the way it should be.
Paris neglected Jesus in her life and that was why she kept meeting the wrong people. Imagine a young lady with such a good career and bright future weeping over a man.
The way young girls think of marriage as if it’s a do or die affair baffles me. For crying out loud, why not get a life and take care of your parents and family who toiled to train you. Your priority in life should be to live a good life, die a holy death and secure everlasting happiness in heaven. Many young ladies choose to become enemies with their creator just because of a man and marriage which will one day crash if God decides to.
I’m not trying to say that getting a lover or getting married is not a good thing; it is indeed a thing of joy but that is not enough reason to neglect your God who has been with you right from conception just because of a guy who probably is a fair-weather friend.
In conclusion, we should always try to put God First in all we do so that God who is a perfect planner will plan our lives for us and things will move smoothly.
wow! Am happy Paris later Realized that one with God is majority. Despite all the turbulences she encountered in trying to lure Blaise to be her friend but all her efforts prove abortive. Later, God will place her in the hands of a man who is worth her love. Blaise was unwilling to move in with her and that made him go nasty on her. But all the same, we should always remember that God’s choice is always the best choice. Thank you, ma.
The story depicts what most women within marriageabke age face in life…indeed life Is spiritual and trying to make things go our way without God in it is like driving a car without an engine. Luckily she retraced her steps on time and I pray we all realise errors of life before it’s too late. God bless you ma.
Thank God Paris redirected her step to God. Keeping God first in everything we do is the best especially when you want to have the love of a man, He is the only one to direct your heart to the right person. Good story.
I am happy that she at last found her way back to God. That is all that matters, God in his own way will make out a way for her, with the right kind of guy she wants. A guy that will truly love her and would want to settle with her. Probably God allowed things to turnout the way it did for her to make her understand that it wasn’t up to her to decide the right person and again to make her remember that she’s no longer on track since her relationship with him (God) has been altered. Our God works in mysterious ways you know.
I just can’t hide it any longer, ma’am, you are truly good in story telling. there’s so much pictures in your stories. Whenever I read them I tend to visualize it in my mind like a movie, You sure don’t joke with imagery in your stories.
It is totally wrong for a man or woman to be needy and clinging in a relationship, especially we ladies. Most times when we show that we are too desperate there is this tendency for the men to run away from us. I don’t like the idea of Paris telling her partner to move in to her house, it’s uncalled for. Men can always disappoint us but God’s love is sure and He can heal us emotionally. Am happy that Paris later realised her mistake and redirected her steps.
Wow! To say that this story is interesting is certainly an understatement because it is more than interesting and captivating. Commenting on Paris behavior, I think young ladies should be guided by God in the choice of man to go into a relationship with and should never allow a man to take the place of God in their life. A man may wake up and leave but God is always there for us.
Paris made the right decision. I don’t think it’s wrong for her to need more. As for her idea that it is hard to find a spouse in a church, I think that love can be found anywhere no matter the circumstances. Most times boys should try to be considerate about a girl’s feelings. They shouldn’t just end a relationship because a girl is needy. Young adults like Blaise and Paris need to pray to God for help in order to make right choices in life.
When someone starts being clingy in a relationship it’s a sign of insecurity! Paris lost focus but later retraced her steps to the Lord which is the right thing to do.
As young men and women we should try making the right choices when it comes to relationships.
God’s love is the best anyone could ever need and ask for. Man loves with condition but he doesn’t. Feel so inspired because its like a personal message to me. Lots of lessons to learn in this story. Thank you ma.
God is the solution to all our problems and once we start thinking that we can solve our problems by ourselves the more bigger they become. Therefore, let seek help from God, he knows our problems.
Again, note that sex is not the true test of love and it doesn’t increase the longevity of relationship, rather companionship and care.
I believe that Paris decision at last was the Best because God is love and when our relationship with God is great we will not have trouble with other issues in life..and when entering into a relationship is best not to go desperate unless you will end up chasing your partner away..nice one ma
God’s love for us is incomparable to that of men.
It’s a good thing that Paris realised that she was on the wrong track, and that she was able to tell Blaise to leave.
It really hurts a lady when she loves a guy and the guy didn’t love her back is very annoying.paris really love to be with Blaise but unfortunately he didn’t for his own personal reasons.i learnt that no man can love us the way God do,so is better we return to him than man.nice story ma
Relationships require understanding, and if it lacks it then, it is not supposed to be. This story teaches us that we can’t force anyone to be with us, anyone who wants to leave can go. God have a better plan for us.
I’m glad Paris traced her step back to God the creator of heaven & earth; love can come from anywhere be it in church or Somewhere else but most importantly he or she should be God fearing & someone that devotes his or her time for God & Godly activities; anything opposite to this qualities is worthless, for it is written “do not forsake the gathering of brethren” letting Blaise go is the best because he already tagged her actions towards the relationship as Clingy; even if he comes back it is to pretend that he loves the way things are going between them but deep down he is acting or playing along against his wish.
Being “needy & clinging” as Blaise tagged Paris’s behaviour depends on what a partner tags as being so in a relationship; most at times being needy and clinging means that your partner is into the relationship, while the opposite means otherwise; most people that complain of such most times do not intend on having any commitments rather they prefer the way things are. Church people being stuffy from my own point of view refers to those that are “heavenly” as we tag them, which might be as a reason of he or she not having time for dressing good, looking neat & shaved, social etc but that doesn’t mean there are no good looking exposed guys in churches; it all depends on the individual’s expectations. Seeking God in all we do is a paramount thing because one with God is with majority & if you know God you tend not to make mistakes because your thoughts & actions are guided. Thank you ma
This is really interesting. It is not a thing to be needy and clingy in a relationship.
Paris was desperate for love to the extent of asking Blaise to move in with Her, which wasn’t right. She fell in love out of desperation without seeking God’s. I’m happy she later realized that God is first and his love is the one true love.
Being desperate is a very bad thing.. Paris was desperate to find love and all she got was heartbreak.. Thank God she realised her mistakes and turned back to God before it became to late.
I’m happy about the way the story turned out. Paris finally traced her way back to God. This teaches us that God’s love is the greatest. This post reminds us that God is love.
Another interesting piece, Ma. Paris should know that every one is in his or her own time zone.at the right time , the true love will find you.The quest for relationship do not speed up chances of meeting the right man but draws one closer to the possibility of getting into emotional problems and It’s okay to be a little needy and clinging in a relationship but what’s not okay is when it’s too much..atleast in the end she learnt her lesson and goes back to God!
I like the ending of this story. Paris was lucky because she was able to diagnose the cause of her problem unlike many others. She was searching for love in the wrong places. It’s a good thing Blaise walked out on her because their relationship would not have lasted either way.
Thank God paris later search for her love through the right source which is christ, Gods love is always the best, it gives you inner joy unlike ordinary human being that always ends with confusion, frustration, heartbreak and some many regrets. young people like us has a lot to learn from this post, this particular story has taught how to be patience for christ when necessary, because he is the only one that knows the best for us, our own decision will only lead us to disaster and lost of packages that the lord has for us.
This story goes with the saying that every disappointment is a blessing in disguise. God is love and the only true definition of love. He is the only one who can truly love us for who we are. I thank God that Paris realised her mistake and also acknowledged that the call wasn’t more important than going back to her true love.
This is a very interesting story and educative too. This story is for everyone. I think Paris did the right thing by not going after blaise, but went to God in prayers for he is the only one that can direct us in a right way.
interesting!
Sex doesn’t keep a man, holding him closely and excessively tight will not make him stay neither will it make him love you unconditionally. God is the provider and at the same time the director of every genuine relationship ,allow him to take control and u will see your relationship flowing gloriously
Am happy that Paris realized herself and turned back to God
God created everything and indeed love, he knows the right time to bring it to your door steps without you getting yourself stressed out. Nice piece ma
Paris became a little to desperate and didnt exercise enough patience for the right man. Luckily for her,she turned to God for assistance
Love is sweet when you with the right person..
God is the perfect definition of love..
Any love that does not bring one closer to God is not worth keeping.
I pray God brings me to someone that will lead me closer to him.
I can’t stop thanking you ma.
You are not just wonderful
But a true definition of woman of Grace
I really like the fact that Paris was able to retrace her steps back to God knowing that only him give Peace and love, her other relationships started off badly that’s why it ended that way. Intimacy is nt all that matters in relationships neither is it a way to build a good one. Nice piece ma I learnt alot
Love is a wonderful thing,and also a gift from God.the worst mistake ever is to be desperate about it,it comes at the right time as it pleases God but Paris seems not to understand this.thank God she later seek for the face of God towards this.
Good afternoon MA, It is not wrong for a man or woman to be clingy in a relationship but each one of them need to consider their partners interest.Most people who are in relationships do not fancy clinginess.Yes sometimes it shows that you love your partner. Paris was needy and clingy because she wanted to be loved. Being in the orphanage home and taking care of herself from when she was little made her want to know what it felt like to be loved. Religious differences is a very delicate issue in a relationship.
Paris took the right decision at the end by turning back to God, because without God we are nothing and there is no assurance that if Blaise had moved in that their relationship will last. God can gives us all the things that a man can and cannot give and even more. Thank you ma and be blessed.
She did what every typical human would…Forget Gods love to find solace in man- we get it all wrong with that notion,God should be the center of every relationship
Quite an interesting story .The decision Paris took at the end was the best because it is in Jesus that you will find true love and happiness. When you are too desperate to get married u will end up In choosing wrong person but if you calm down and come close to God he will he will give you the best.
It is wrong for people to think that the love of man is what they need to be happy in life, forgetting the love of God, which is the greatest love they could ever get. Secondly, the bible says “seeks ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and a other things shall be added unto you. Seeking the things of the world before the face of God first is wrong and has its consequences
Firstly, living with a man who you are not married to is very wrong….Desperation for love and marriage played its role in her life if Blaise could openly tell her”Next thing i know, you’ll be begging me to marry you. ..I felt hurt knowing such is happening to a female like me. ……I also felt happy that she realised her mistake and made a decision to go back to God which she did……God bless you aunt for this post…….Amen
being in relationships is good-being in it with someone you love is even better but denying that person their space is wrong.I had this friend who clung to her boyfriend in the end she got dumped.sex is also not a determinant of love or longevity of a relationship. I thank God that Paris realised these thing in time and retraced her steps.Praise God!
There’s absolutely nothing wrong in being needy and clinging with one’s partner. There should still be a limit to it biko. People need their space even in relationships. While it doesn’t work for some, people take their partners as their possession and it works for them. Maybe it depends on the two parties involved.
About church partners being ‘stuffy’, I don’t think it is entirely true. Individual differences apply still, even though some church brethens can ‘overdo’ the faith stuff. I love her final decisions. She shouldn’t be all out searching for love. I pray love finds her fast?
Nice one MA!!
Love is a very beautiful thing and it is not bad when lovers get clingy but when they get too clingy, it becomes unbearable and overly irritating . Sex is not a determinant of a good relationship . As young adults, we are advised to abstain from sex otherwise we should know how to face the consequences that comes with it.
First of all, this is an amazing story. I have actually witnessed this happen to a close friend, a lot of things can go wrong while living with a person of the opposite sex that isn’t your husband,one of which is pre-marital sex, which is really wrong. When you walk with God, every other thing would fall in place without stress.I believe that everything happens for a reason and eventually Paris would find the perfect guy for her without even searching.
To love is a beautiful thing… But when you love, love wisely.always try to understand the person you are in love with.
Ones self esteem and dignity should be acknowledged first Paris didn’t realised that, and she didn’t acknowledge God’s will, she felt she can do it all by herself, she shouldn’t have felt insecure
First of all moving in with someone you are not married to is wrong. From the story she had issues with love which could be traced to the fact she was raised in an orphanage.
Every human needs love so we humans tend to seek for love in the most inappropriate places forgetting that the scripture made it clear that God is love and the most assured way of tapping from the love is through Christ Jesus without which any other type is not a guarantee.
Thanks Ma for this post, it’s really an eye-opener especially to ladies out there who seek love where genuine love can’t be found.
We all need love…when u love someone it is always good when the love us reciprocated. We go into a relationship hoping for an everlasting end but temptations will always appear in a relationship. What do we do? We should always be prayerful and hope for a love with the right person and at the right time. Everything happens at its time…partners should always be grateful to one another because of the love the share and be happy whenever one loves the most because there is nothing more beautiful and divine than seeing and knowing that someone loves you instead of complaining about them being needy and clingy….its actually romantic when there is extreme love between you two.
Nice one,this just shows that God will never fight with the flesh it is at that time when we human have tried all our best and failed that is when God proves himself God…
ThankGod Paris realised her Christian root and decided to run back to him who giveth peace beyond man’s understanding
I think Paris was very naive and ignorant because she just gave herself to every man she dates without considering the consequences. she did not put in mind that she was going against God. it is a good thing she later realized her mistake
Wow!!! What a thrilling story. As for Paris, she shouldn’t be forcing love on her partner. She should just be herself and the man will love her wholely
I am so glad that Paris took the step of reconciliation with God..there’s nothing that cannot be found in Christ.
Being clingy and wanting in relationship is just like chasing away your partner; it scares him away..it’s not advice in relationship especially from the woman.
Paris made the right decision in searching for the love that never dies nor fades in God almighty. That is the total love one can experience. Well i believe in a relationship being clingy is normal for some and irritates others. We just need to find the best that suits us.
I feel there is a limit to being needy and clingy and as women we shouldn’t get so engrossed in searching for love, we should always learn to be patient and let thing happen at their time.
I think comment isn’t right ”This is what happens when we look for love outside the love that comes from God. Paris wanted companionship from men not knowing that the greatest companion is God. I’m happy that she finally got to realise this. I’ve learnt a lot.” I think love for humanity should come first.
Well, that is your own point of view. I agree with that particular comment because it is only through God that we can love and be loved in the proper and most fulfilling way.
We should always know that relationship exist between two imperfect people who must love unconditionally and tolerate one another. We should not allow other people opinion about us to define us,just the way Paris believed in Blaise’s notion of her “And I think you’re needy and clinging”
I don’t think it’s bad to be needy or clingy in a relationship but there’s a limit to it. Love is not and should not be based on sex. Paris felt that with sex Blaise would stay and that was the mistake she made. No, Not all church guys are stuffy. some of them have those things we look forward to in other guys
For me being clingy in relationship is very good for both side, be it the girl or the boy because at least it makes someone to understand the way you feel about the relationship and if you are really going against the persons wish the character will make you to understand if he or she is for you or not, I like Paris attitude towards her relationship, if the guy don’t thoroughly love her, he should allow her to go.
For me being clingy in relationship is very good for both side, be it the girl or the boy because at least it makes someone to understand the way you feel about the relationship and if you are really going against the persons wish the character will make you to understand if he or she is for you or not, I like Paris attitude towards her relationship, if the guy don’t truely love her, he should allow her to go.
I think she did the right thing by giving her boy friend up and finally doing things the right way because that right way is the way that leads to happiness and love but other ways will cause you sorrow.
Whatever Kind of love you desire is gotten from God. To be able to love oneself and love others, the love of the father must be in you. Our greatest companion is indeed the father.
I don’t think it’s bad for a lady to be clingy and needy in a relationship, because it shows the value you place on your lover, but at the same time learn not to overdo it
one thing in life is that there is a man meant for a particular woman.everywoman will eventually one day have a man that will love,cherished,and honour them.as a lady,we must have endurance and should not always rush to get things, most especially when it comes to marriage or relationship,we must always look up to god because he alone is love.
this story further explains why we should put God first so every other thing (love,favour,etc)will be added unto us
It is so painful to love someone and the 2nd party doesn’t feel the same …I felt so much pity for Blaise ..also sex is not an assurance of love ,the both parties need to be sure that they both feel the same for each other..and also involve God in the relationship
Being desperate often leads to unhappiness at the end…she did the best thing by following the steps that wil create happiness in her
There is no greater love than the love of Christ. Paris was looking for something she could easily find in God, there is genuine peace and love in Christ. The Bible admonished us to seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing will be added. Paris needed to go down Memory Lane to realize that. Women are sensitive and emotional, therefore need to feel some belonging, but in this case Paris was looking and clinging to the wrong people.
From my own view,it is wrong for one to be clinging and needy,one has to be self dependent in most aspects of life especially when it comes to emotional aspect cause when u exhibit those attitude in your relationship,your patner might feel that you cant do without them and this gives them more reason to mess with your emotions
Paris was so desperate to find a love due to her loneliness and status. She forgot that sometimes, true love comes on its own. Ohh! Poor Paris, I feel for her. Thank God she finally finds her way back to God. In God lies the true love. Interesting…
Lovely story.. I feel the decision Paris made in the end was absolutely right. Though as humans we feel loneliness and the need to belong to someone, we should try to make godly relationships that we won’t regret
Hard as it is to do the right, its good to know shes ready to do the right thing. and in the end, we all deserve better and having learnt from her heartbreaks, she would do better in her next choice.
When God created Adam, He didn’t struggle to get Eve, so it’s a bad idea to be clingy to a man like Paris was. I mean, when the right man shows up, he will pamper and treat her right. Secondly, great men are mostly found in the church. Her decision to trace back her steps to God is the best thing she did. My advice to people searching for love is: there is no manual for keeping a man, all you need is God’s grace.
Paris needs to believe that all that comes from God is genuine but hankering for a husband would not solve the problem. Many people nowadays believe that cohabitation is the best, but that is a lie. God is the greatest asset one can have in this world of ours.
I think it’s very bad to be clingy and needy in a relationship,because when you are no matter how much your partner loves you, it will be hard for them to cope with that. And also we should put God first in everything we do. I myself I don’t believe in searching for love love finds me and it works for me. Give people space so you know where you belong.
Wow! I really can’t just imagine this. A lady like Paris finding it difficult to find a true love even with all her invigorating attributes.But from this our eastern part of the world, it is wrong for a man to go and reside with a lady. Such a man will lose his respect and dignity in the society. But finally i thank the spirit that directed her to find solace in God for the scripture said that “he is the way, the truth and the life” and he directs our foot to the righteous path. Thanks again for this wonderful piece. May God continue to lift you.
This story is good and interesting too. In a relationship, sex is not everything. You can be having sex but that doesn’t mean that there is true love between the two, maybe it’s just for pleasure. And we should understand that we should not be in a rush to enter into relationships, that we should wait for God’s time because His time is the best.
We should not be too clingy in relationships as it can bring about mishaps. We should also call and look upon God first in any action we undertake because with God, anything is possible. This story also teaches us that love is not all about sex, it’s about finding the right person who will care for you
Marriage is not meant for the lonely but for people who can affect one another positively. Man is not the author of love, God in his fullness is love. For you to know love, you should know God.
I am glad that Paris has finally realized that God is the only solution to her problems. She has been wondering of what she has been doing wrong but forgotten she had lost the right track, that is entrusting her life to God. But now that she has realized her mistake, I believe that God will surely bless her with a good husband.
this was a very touching story. it reveals how much we need God in our lives without our selfish needs. Paris should still not be blamed for being a human.
It is better how Paris returned to God. Most people look for love in all the wrong places. We should let love find us but before it does, we should seek God.
You know in life we don’t choose what happens to us, what fortunate and unfortunate events comes and divert our way, we’re just like preys hovering around waiting for the attack of a predator.
This exactly was the situation of Paris she is just like every normal girl who loves and wants to be loved in return. But she never paused for a moment to consider the real definition of love. Love is patient, Love is understanding, Love is kind and so many other qualities which cannot be mentioned.
Her plight in the story could be understood because she was just a girl who taught love was all about writing speeches to the one you love, sleeping and waking up by their side always, wanting to get married after a year or two after being in a relationship, living together , she never knew that all of this we’re just additional supplements need in a relationship. For her it was indeed the perfect way for love to be shown.
Experience the say is the best teacher, after everything she has been through it gave her time to think about her actions, because it could be seen in the story that she was the one who loved the most in all 4 relationships and it yielded no gain rather it caused her heartbreaks all of the time respectively. Now it that her last experience with blaise that really opened her mind and heart to the real meaning of love, She then knew something was amiss she needed to go back to her moral and ethical values and to the root , to Love itself which is our heavenly father God almighty who is Love in every aspect.
“living by our own rules doesn’t make our actions right” No matter how introverted you are like paris, you are and can be social with God. This part hit me
i feel pity for paris but all the same i can say that her suffering is as a result of her sins.
i pity her but all the same it is as a result of her lifestyle
Most times,people abandon God in pursuit of what they think matters the most.Good a thing Paris realized her mistakes and sought the face of God. If we remain faithful to God, he will bring the right person at our doorstep
Paris I see has gone through a lot of heart breaks that when she tries to show love or affection, she is seen as being clingy.
Funny how she neglected the “church guys ” probably because of the perception of the church not being “cool” enough.
But I’m glad she realized her mistake, and remembered her God
Is a pity Paris had to go through all this but she made a big mistake by putting sex first all in the name of searching for love. The truth is that sex doesn’t keep men in relationships. That is why she was heartbroken. But the best decision is always to commit things into the hands of God. If Paris had sought the face of God earlier, she could not have gone through this.
This story touches me, Paris might have gone astray and reading it makes it seem like it was easy for Paris to do the things she did, it’s never easy, I think of times I fell and I almost fell it’s never easy but deciding to come back to God is always the solution. The quote “It is best to seek emotional healing in God, not in the arms of a fellow human being” makes me want to sing “Excess Love “.
Well as we all know God is The way the truth and the life
Paris supposedly thought that man could give her the love she so desired. Forgetting that God is always there to comfort and love us. He used Blaise to show Paris that not all that glitters is gold.
very touching. it really can be frustrating this whole idea of searcching for love.. that’s why some girls goout of their comfort zone to please a man…the best thing to do is to let GOD have his way even in your marriage decisions.
people in a relationship should learn to understand each other and know what the other wants and also find a way to balance it. One should never forget God in life as well
I believe that everything happens for a reason, maybe God wants to use this medium and bring back Paris to his ways, maybe he wants her to see there is nothing she can do without him after all, even when it comes to relationship.
Relationships are things people rush into even girls and boys of the ages of 16 and 17. Well I can say that maybe God didn’t actually want Paris to put herself into a relationship that would end up leaving her looking for another companion. I pray that girls of my generation read this story. Thank you so much ma??
It’s not actually nice to be a clingy person but I can’t really blame Paris because of her past encounters with men. They prompted the insecurities with Blaise. Her notion about stuffy church folks isn’t quite right because there are interesting men in the Church that are God-sent.
Then for her decision at the end, I think she should have given Blaise a chance by hearing him out. I mean there’s no harm in giving a sinner another chance. Even the Bible says so.
All the same, the story is a didactic one that every young lover should read. Thanks.
I don’t think you gain love through force,love is a natural thing, it comes On its own You don’t force it to come ,it will surely find you. Paris was too clingy an that was so bad Of her .it is only God that can heal us emotionally
With the little knowledge I have about love, you don’t search for it neither do you wait for it.
I believe is something that happens to us unconsciously and we feel it with our heart and not mind. As regards to Paris, she wanted love by all means because she really lacked it since she grew up in the orphanage
Forgetting that God is love himself, that when you confide in himhim, you must be consoled.
God blessings all over you ma
Lovely! Once there is a difference in spiritual realm or beliefs, there is bound to be issues. It is really touching and frustrating for a lady not to have a man to call her own. I can’t help but feel pity for Paris. A young lady with such intelligence can’t find love. There is always an unbearable result whenever ladies are too desperate in finding a lover. One should always put God first in every thing, because with him everything is attainable. Thanks.
What kind of desperation would cause a Lady to invite her boyfriend to live with her?,Now that is very unnecessary and selfish too .Blaise was her boyfriend already so there was no need compelling him to do such a thing. She should have respected his decision of not living with her.if she had,they would not have quarreled and funny enough,she wouldn’t have thought about God.
OMG! So touching…Paris has really been through a lot. But she made a mistake by becoming a love desperado. I don’t think Blaise truly loved her. The final decision she made by returning to her first love (Jesus) was a very good thing.
An awesome story.
Well, there are girls around the world who go through the same situation as Paris.
From my perspective, the relationship between Paris and Blaise, wasn’t an ideal one. I believe in a relationship where both parties should be committed to themselves, they should make out and spend quality time with themselves. At this the relationship would grow better. So, Paris asking for commitment from Blaise is not wrong at all! He considers other things above her, and that’s not a good way to grow relationships. Attention and commitment are important!
You know, people just bump into relationships, without first having a relationship with themselves and God (for those who believe in God). From my knowledge gotten from good relationships books I have read, audios by notable men of God and preaching, one needs to establish a good relationship with themselves and God before thinking of letting anyone into their life for a lifetime commitment.
I believe, if only Paris gave more time to herself and God, all of this would not have happened.
All the same, it’s an excellent story with a lesson and shows what most young women in our society go through.
No matter what, don’t compromise your faith for mere affection .You must wait upon the lord, his time is the best.
You won’t even know when it will come
so relax and have faith in him
I love this story this is the major reason why God told us not to be unequally yoked with the unbelievers. Paris started her relationship on wrong foundation by putting sex first ahead of God.Paris thought that men would give her all the love she needs forgetting that Gods love is unconditional.This is a big lesson for everyone God should be our first priority in our daily activities
Naturally we can not do without God, we need to apply God in whatever we are doing and not seeking for him only when we have problems.
Patience is one of the greatest virtue every individual must inculcate, there is a popular saying that ” he patient dog ea ts the fattest bone” but Paris lacks this virtue , she’s dsspirate to get married, that is why she kept on meeting the wrong people who did nothing than cause her heart breaks and disappointment
3. I wouldn’t say it is wrong for a man or woman to be “needy” or “clinging” because if Paris was not “needy” and “Clinging” as Blaise said, she (Paris) could have still be wasting her energy on futile fellow like Blaise. Due to Paris “needy” she was able to know that Blaise was never a caring and lovable person as she assumed. So being “needy” or “clinging” sometime do reveals the true nature of whoever we are dating and from there we can know our stand in their lives.
Paris’s idea of not fining a good or charming suitor in the church is not absolutely correct, because especially we as Christian we believe that the right place to get God fearing husbands is in the church. So I believe assuming Paris looked well into the Church she could have avoided a lots of heart breaks she went through.
Paris decision was fantastic as at point because if she picked up the call maybe Blaise could have pulled her into continuing slavery with fake promise and at the end he may completely walked out of her life, which I don’t think Paris could have had that courage again of getting her life back and going to God, who is the only unconditional lover.
My little advice to we, who are in relationship is that we should never compromise our body no matter what, because any man who come to stay will always stay and not even our body or sex can serve as a guarantee to the everlasting relationship, but our trust in God, and letting His will alone to be done in our lives. We should never be afraid of talking to our friends of what we think it is right, and also telling them about God, as the bible says “Do not be equally yoked with believers” we should try to go out with those who have the fear of God in them, (i.e the same faith with us.)
Thanks.
It was a nice story for this day youths especially young girls who do all manner of things for marriage. What was described in the story was lustful relationship not love; any man who love you don’t need to sleep with you or have you doing all sort of rubbish all in the name of romance. Paris stoop so low and that was why she got such treatments from the guys he came across. It is of her best interest if she kept to her principles and morality because every man want to marry a woman with outstanding qualities. Character is the paramount thing guys put into consideration and when you sell yourself so low as a lady, you stand to be called nothing but a public commoner.
Paris could have gotten all she needed if she maintained her relationship with her Creator.
It is not good for a woman or a man to be needy or clinging in a relationship, because it make you look despirate,you do not attract much respect from your partner
A touching and delightful story which open up the reality of searching for a partner on your own will and rule.this point and defines every relationship and decides who one will eventually spend the rest of our life with.In dating,one needs to be wise,clever and most of all depend on God for direction and guidance.Deciding your fate by the outcome of your own rule leads to disaster,heartbreak and failed marriage.Searching for love should be clinging to God’s own pattern and will
Although everyone loves and needs to be loved, but taking drastic steps which sometimes seems impatience and clinging. This always leads one in making errors that causes a lifetime regret. It’s not her fault(Paris) anyways, but that still leads to regret and I believe this story will pass a very warning message to my beloved people (especially youths).
I think the request Paris made was because of desperation. she wanted to get married because she was coming of age and needed to raise a family. But that does not mean she should be clinging and needy. She had seen and knows quite alright that Blaise is sought of independent and doesn’t need any help. And because he already knew that Paris would come running back to him. But i am glad that Paris remembered the word of God and decided to rely fully on Him to decide what her life would be like. I think the lesson here is to know and let God decide what our life would. I decide to allow God take charge of my decision and He is making a way even when i don’t know.
The story is quite an inspiring story and teaches youths of this age lessons not to be desperate for a husband, being clinging to a man, and living with someone who is not your husband. Paris was desperate for love, thinking that blaise loved her a lot. She also wanted him to move into the same house with her which was wrong and also a sin. God’s time is always the best for everything in life.
This what happens when partners have a different spiritual belief, Paris trashed the excess love God gave her and thought she could get all she wanted but funny enough after everything she still came back to God for his love and care which is unmerited.
this helps to show girls not to believe that sex is the only way to keep a relationship but to involve God in it.
Initially, Paris wasn’t desperate to serve God but was only desperate to marry and she learnt a good lesson.God should always be the first in our life and not the last resort.
some times girls rush things too much and later regret it Paris rushed her boyfriend Blaise to marry her and he could not because he was not ready yet, sha i thank God she got back to her senses. circumstances would come in life when we would want to just jump into things that normally take their time and own form to come ……God is our father and knows whats best for us and at what time to bless us be it with marriage or children we should try and exercise patience with him.
just like paris many young people think sex is the only way to secure relationship but nay,the only true and pure love is when you have christ in you.
this helps to show youths that believes that sex is the only connectivity that bounds a relationship but it is incorrect therefore you need the grace of GOD.
Ouch! Desperation!!!
I see desperation written all over Paris’s face. “When your supposed lover realizes you’re desperate to be with them, they begin to suspect you. For certain, one might want a clingy or needy lover but on the long run they’ll be fed up with the whole stuff”.
However, I see no reason why Blaise should move in with her or even vice versa. But I really blame him for not defining their relationship from ab initio. He really led her on…
On the other hand, I really feel Paris’s pain. It seems she walked into those relationships with high expectations and that’s why she’s always disappointed when they don’t meet up with those expectations.
In addendum, her final decision is indeed a perfect one. She’ll get her emotional healing only in the hollow of God’s hand.
It’s quite an interesting story ma. My advice for Paris is to “keep moving”. Life is all about moving on. No matter what happens, never allow your situation to weigh you down. God is able to give her a suitable person who will love her without doubt.
Sex and clinging to a man won’t kip him but being a lady without a man to call her own brings frustration,so I don’t really blame paris. Ladies out here including myself should have patience and love our self so much dat with or without a man we will still be satisfied.tnk u ma dis post has inspired me alot.
I think it is not right for a man or a woman to be clingy or needy in a relationship because it is a symptom of little self confidence and high co-dependency habit,and it’s unhealthy for a relationship. Paris is actually wrong to think that she can’t search or find love in the church because they are stuffy (as she described them). I know some guys in the church are kind of “JimJim” brothers type,but there are still some that are not stuffy,old fashioned and narraw minded. So, she shouldn’t lose hope in finding love at church. Paris decision at the end is applaudable and nice. My advice to youths is this: they shouldn’t think that sex keeps a man in a relationship. But they should seek first the kingdom of God and all things shall be added unto them(Matthew 6:33).
A thought provoking short story. What everyone searching for a fulfilled and long lasting relationship should know is that what will be will be. One can’t force things that do not exist . In this story it was obviously a case of desperation after so many failed relationships. One great lesson to be gotten is that we should all let God’s will prevail.
I love Paris’ decision at the end, it would be difficult but eventually it would be worth it. Contrary to her view, not all church folks are “stuffy”, you only need to get to know them better.
Being clingy in a relationship can be very choking for one’s partner. Sometimes people need space.
Finally, any relationship before marriage that involves having sex is a sin against God. We youths should just learn to wait till the right time.
According to the author “Paris served the lord before she travelled to abroad.” But getting to abroad, she didn’t served the lord the way she does before. The Central theme of this story is that, one can only find love within the Jurisdiction of the Almighty God, out of that, the reverse is the case. Paris searched for a lover on her own but she realised that ” she was living by her own rules which is not good enough. ” So she understand that only God can help her Therefore, she channeled attention to God. Most of us are in this situation, the only solution is ” Everything to God in prayer. ” go Back to God, He have the answer.
We should always bear this in our mind “Life isn’t all about our policies all the time”.. That four men have walked out of her (Paris) doesn’t mean that her own has finished. God can give her a suitable suitor. All she needs to do is to hope unto God, she won’t be disappointed.
Paris was desperately in need of a life partner, which led her to compromise her faith. She fell in love with different guys who turned her down, but she later realized that no love is greater than the love of God.
So, there was desperation. But, perfect love is found in God.
We all need to be loved and we want to love someone. We need that companionship, but not wanting it at all cost.
Sometimes, it’s good there be space for both partners. No need for a rush.
Well, it’s God first. He would guide you, heal you and prepare the best for you!
In my opinion as it concerns whether being clingy and needy is bad or not in a relationship , I think it depends on who u are dating.if your partners thinks it is then it is as some partners at some point requires privacy. The church is a place one can find any kind of person just that some hide their true self for doctrines sake. Interestine men and women can be found in d church. All one needs do is go close.yes,paris decision and request are wrong and unbilical.it is unbiblical for a man and a woman to live together prior to marriage. More so, she should have taken time to understand Blaine. However, her later decision to repent is salvational
Its so unfortunate how desperate Paris wanted stability in life, growing up in the orphanage home, no experience of love, family and commitment. Her mistake was she didn’t realize that God is the foundation upon whom all those are built. I’m glad Blaise didn’t move in with her, she probably wouldn’t have seen the need to kneel to God in prayers.
Thank you, Aunty Edith.
I don’t think it’s wrong to engage in a relationship ,however it is wrong to be desperate to be in one or to find someone to love you. There is a time and season for everything in the earth so it is not right to rush. Remembering and going back to God was certain the perfect option because God directs and surely, he will direct us to whomever we are meant to be with.
Relationships at times does not guarantee you being mature for marriage. Relationships that are backed up with God’s intervention does not stop halfway. Youths should note the difference between a Godly relationship and the ungodly one.
desperation to get married. thank she finally turned back to God realizing that is where she needed to find utmost love and validation instead of man.
Desperation is one act in a woman that makes men think she’s needy and clinging. As a woman, you have to know that keeping a man goes beyond satisfying him in the bedroom; your virtues as a woman are what keep a man and make his want for you grow.
Also, as women, we should take note that God is not a man that we bargain with on the ground that if He gives you a man, then you can rededicate your life to Him(God).
Quite a story, I really do love your stories, anyway I believe Blaise did the right thing, sex doesn’t guarantee commitment in a relationship as we can see from the post, also maybe she should calm down on the whole marriage thing and trust God and the process.
No man will love and value a woman because she gives him sex. The foundation of every relationship that will last should be laid on Christ Jesus, and not on sex. Some ladies erroneously think that by always giving a man sex he will have no reason to look at another woman. Sex can’t hold a man, even though he claims to love you that moment, but will definitely break your heart. To men sex is just like food, you do everything possible to get it while you are hungry, but when you get satisfied you stop eating, and sometimes leave the plate there or throw it anyhow . Ladies let’s be wise.
As a person who was deprived of love while growning up I think her being needy and clingy is justified. She just wants love and at the same time the love being reciprocated. Her only mistake was thinking Blaise moving in with her could solve that problem for her. He is nothing but a human, he could try his best but it wouldnt be enough. And thats why we have God.
God’s will for us is always the best. Paris did the right thing, if Blaise loved her, he wouldn’t have left her in the first place.
I really enjoyed the story but at the same time, I’m short of words. However, Paris did the right thing by going back to seek God’s face because he knows the best.
This marriage thing no be by force o. I just want all women to get to that point where they realize that you don’t need to get married to feel complete.
I think the goal should be happiness and peace of mind..marriage shouldn’t be a do or die affair and in all things..God factor should come first,am glad Paris realised that…
Also I think blaize didn’t do anything wrong,she was too clingy …everybody needs their space..
Being clingy and needy in a relationship in some cases is regarded as selfishness but in this case, Paris just wanted to be loved as she didn’t get the love she wanted while growing up. Thank God she realized her mistakes and consulted God for directions
God’s love is the greatest of them all, it is so unfortunate that Paris has to through several heart breaks before retracing her step, so touching
Its high time we knew that nothing works out without God. Paris realized this and went back to God in prayers. And, I won’t really blame Blaise for his actions… I think Paris pushed him too hard as she was being too clingy. And since Paris and Blaise have different views in their religious belief. I think Paris should just let go. Having hope and trust in God for a better future. Moreover, she has involved God already. With God all things are possible.
If there is anything I have learnt over the years, it is finding and forcing yourself in spaces where you are unwanted. Paris decision to move on leave it all to God is actually the best thing to do in-order to remain sane.
Desperation is a terrible thing, I am glad she didn’t let it becloud her sense of reasoning. You need to marry right and be sure of it, not doing it based on the society or pressure. It’s obvious Blaise is actually not the right man for her, the right man will come someday.
This is so heart touching. I really felt for paris. A lady with such intelligence can’t find love. From one monster of a man to another deceptive person. This is what ladies get when they accept men they ain’t sure of, or when they are so desperate in finding a lover. Her final decision was exactly what she needed from the beginning. With God every thing is possible and attainable.
If only Paris sought the face of God from the on set, things wouldn’t have been the way it was. But as nature may have,we always run to God when we exhausted all wevew got… Nice one ma’am.
Searching for love story reminds me of a relative who was desperate for love…. She’s still desperate… If only she can turn to God to show her the way like Paris did things can turn around for her good
I like that Paris eventually found out that she had been doing it wrong all this time and realised that she needs God to make wiser decisions and attract the kind of miracles she needs.
A little away from the spiritual aspect however, I think Paris is a little too concerned about marriage that she wants to get really committed to her partner right away and this feeling is always not mutual. I think her past two relationships should have taught her to make sure she and her male partner are on the same page before springing the commitment on them .
The Bible was not wrong when it said “seek ye first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added “. Paris learnt that in a hard way. I hope she really finds a man who will love her and hopefully marry her. We should also learn that sex in a relationship is not a guarantee that the person loves you and will want to spend his life with you.
Love is an emotional feeling which we have to call on God so that we can find our true lover,we cannot just come and love rather we suppose to hear from God’s direction in other to find true love
I really feel for Paris. Am glad that she finally realized that God is involved in a good and happy relationship. This story teaches a great lesson to lovers. Do not trade your faith for your emotions.
Sex is not a guarantee for longevity or commitment in a relationship. For me I don’t see anything wrong in being clingy in a relationship, it only becomes wrong when it’s too much
Paris was just too desperate for a husband and that’s what we face when we become desperate for a particular thing. I thank God that she at last she decided to give her life to Christ
I really feel for Paris. Am glad that she finally realized how important God is to her life. This story teaches a great lesson to lovers. Do not trade your faith for your emotions.
I really feel for Paris. I am glad she finally realized that God must be involved in building a heathy and happy relationship. This story teaches a great lesson to lovers. Do not trade your faith for your emotions.
Well am speechless!
What I don’t understand though is why Blaise refused to move in,however I must commend Paris on her decision to retrace her steps in Christ.
I believe being clingy in a relationship would likely scare one’s partner. I see a clingy person as one who is insecure and afraid of standing on his/ her own. It’s ok to let people know that you love them and they are important to you but acting like your whole life depends on them and you are incapable of living and doing things on your own is quite bad. In fact, it goes to show that one is psychologically unhealthy.
Paris was wrong in concluding that church people are stuffy. I’ve met a lot of church people and I can boldly say that they are really fun to be with. The atmosphere around them is filled with soooo much joy; and I find this joy quite contagious. Also, I’m a church person, and I am sooo not stuffy. Trust me?.
Paris made the best decision by returning to God. God’s love for us is unconditional, unselfish and unrelenting. He is love, He gives joy, He is all. I wouldn’t swap Him for the world.
I wouldn’t tell young people not to love or have relationships with the opposite sex. I’ll however advise them to honour God in all they do; let all their actions be motivated by the love they feel for Him.
Learn to love yourself first before looking for whom to love.learn to appreciate yourself and mind the people that come into your life.Dont allow just anybody into your life,they might really mess you up.I wish Paris knew this.I wish we all knew this.
A woman suggesting a man should move in with her is practically unacceptable. No matter how much close partners are, they should be able to know their limits until they are joined together as husband and wife. Its usually a turn off for most men when a lady becomes too clingy. As a woman,get busy with your life and be happy with or without your man until you walk down the isle with him. I’m glad Paris realised her self at the end
A man or woman being needy and clinging in a relationship is not entirely wrong. In relationships, you find out that you always want to make your partner feel important and will always want to spend time with him/her.
When we stop allowing the will of God to rule our lives and start making our own rules,things tend to go wrong. People run to God only when they are in need and its not a good thing.
Its still good how she realised her mistakes and went for a change by going back to God.
Poor Paris. Most times we make life decisions on our own, without involving God, and at the end of the day we regret some of the decisions we’ve made. However, am really glad that Paris realized hers an sought to make corrections.
Paris didn’t involve God in whatever decision she made in her life that is why all her past relationship did not work out as planned. She sought companionship in man rather than God. But thank God she realized everything before it was too late!
She went contrary to God’s word from the start, she defiled herself and that’s why her desires was not met. I thank God she turned and knew leaf and returned to Christ the only one who love her genuinely and unconditionally.
There is no greater love than the love of God. He(God) is the one one that will lead one to right part…like you said Ma,sex can never be a ticket to COMMITMENT in relationships. That’s why one must DEFINE EVERY relationship..I wish Paris will still find a man that will truly love her and marry her.
Desperation is very bad as children of God we shouldn’t be desperate always be patient in the lord and rely on him for direction
Well I feel Paris was way too desperate…. I won’t blame blaise for feeling suffocated…. Being in love shouldn’t make one to quit having his/her own personal life ..
Love is never a thing to beg for it finds you wherever you are…
And most importantly I advise that people should first of all find inner happiness and self-love before expecting it outside… And this can only be possible through Christ..
I commend Paris for being wise enough to retrace her steps and cling to the right person which is God… Such an interesting story!
Personally, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong in being a clingy or a needy person.
well… i think age also add to the desperation of especially women in a relationship and for paris i think firstly she was no longer young and time was not on her side anymore and secondly blaise being the fourth guy she went into a relationship with, she dint want to loose him, that was why she wanted everything to go very quickly so she gets married. paris’ take on finding an interesting guy in church is totally untrue, you can find as much interesting guys in church as you wish and her decision of leaving everything to God to give her the best companion. young people shouldn’t rush into any relationship because of desperation or without Gods direction, marriage is a life time journey and shouldnt be done in a hurry.
I feel that being clingy in a relationship is not good, sometimes your partner may need space at that particular moment and you may be restricting him or her from that needed space. That alone is irritating. I’m also glad that Paris remembered turning back to God and leaving her old self behind.
She did the right thing by going back to God cause that is where she can find true love
God will actually send the right person to her at the right time
Is very good that Paris was able to give up on Blaise cause he doesn’t deserve her
He is not even ready to go into marriage with her so what would she be keeping him for
Paris basically needs Jesus who will guide her heart to the right person. She needs to settle her relationship with God first, before she can now start thinking of a relationship with the opposite sex which she would have done earlier in life. She shouldn’t force herself on a man,whatever flows, flows and what doesn’t flow doesn’t flow. Paris needs to build herself. Lastly,sex cannot and will not keep a man. Thank you.
If there is one thing that learnt in life is that sex is not a guarantee for longevity in a relationship instead it makes you to look desperate and that is the same thing that happened with Paris but thank God she realised that and went back to God and that is the best decision. As for Blaise, he never wanted to commit to her. He just there for the fun.
Sex can never keep a man. It only takes a man who truly loves you regardless of anything to stay. Thank God Paris realised her mistakes and is willing to take a bold step and make adjustments.
When getting into a relationship don’t only go with heart also include your brains, and always define the purpose of the relationship earlier before it gets late. Paris is some of the ladies out there, who are too opened to men, lady got to have her own pride in the sense that you are not to be too needy and clingy making it too obvious
This story Is really interesting! I’m glad Paris traced her step back to God the creator of heaven & earth.
First things first I love what she did in the end God is more important than any human besides if he really has anything to say he should trace his path back to her apartment and church guys are not stuffy well…..not all of the shaa There is nothing wrong in needing attention from your partner although it can really spoil everything when the other person becomes too needy
Paris suggestion is ridiculous, why in God’s name will they cohabit….like Blaise said he needs space likewise Paris Herself. Men see women who cling as desperate people and this alone can scare them away…. All Paris needs is to go back to God.
Firstly i think she has forgotten that God loves her even before her birth so she shouldn’t be looking for someone to love her knowing her creator loves her already and also the bible said seek ye first the kingdom of God and all other things shall be added unto you so i think this bible verse is applicable here as God should be our first priority before other things even in the aspect of love and finding a partner. Talking to God in prayer would solve her issue of finding a partner rather than looking for one herself.
We should always bear in mind that God is our best confidant and we can do little or nothing without him in every aspect of our life.
Wow! Interesting she had been dating since her 20’s and now that she’s in her 30’s she thinks the best thing is to divert to being single? I don’t think it’s wise. In as much as she started wrongly stepping into undefined relationships I don’t think it’ll be right to shut other men out who may be “ready” she just has to be careful and shun sin by the way, cohabitation is not healthy.
church brothers are not “stuffy”.. lol
I agree with you ma that sex is not a guarantee of longevity or commitment in a relationship. But it is one of the ingredients of relationship that makes it fruitful. It also beautifies relationship. Sex makes relationship to meet its purpose of the Creator. He said be fruitful and multiply. So sex is a tool for multiplication. So then what happens to SEX when multiplication stops? This question guarantees us to say that sex is not a guarantee of longevity and commitment in relationship. Any way, speaking about Paris, I would have love to read about her end. But I believe since she traced her step to the source of her life, the happiness she seeks for is secured. This is to say the world can’t offer what the Word (Jesus) can offer you… I pray and look forward in meeting that lady that will first love me the same way I love her. God bless you Dr. Edith Ohaja
Its actually good for a man or a woman to be clinging in a relationship but not all the time. There are times being needy and clinging is considered irritating.
I perfectly understand why Paris is needy and clinging. To me, she has faced so much heartbreak in the past as a result of staying in the dating phase for too long. Imagine knowing your boyfriend is married after dating him for 2 years; wasted.
She wants to enter a deep commitment which Blaise I think he is not ready for it.
Her idea of church folks being stuffy is sometimes true because some people use Christianity as an excuse not to show their partners love. They see it as “carnal”.
There is no true love like the one Jesus has for us. She deviated from that Godly path and thats why she hasn’t found peace.
Seek ye the kingdom of God first and it’s righteousness and every other thing will be added unto you. That “every other thing” includes a God fearing husband. So therefore I like how she ignored his call and decided to pray.
She made a wise choice. Its not easy to retrace your steps after you have derailed or made a mistake. She lost sight of her purpose as a child of God but its good she found her steps. This story is so captivating.
Most ladies have concluded that all they need is a man’s love, have you thought about how much God loves you and how happy he would be if you want him to leave with you in your home.The same energy you’re channelling to get a man’s love,channel that same energy to serving and loving God. Wipe your tears away and don’t let any man make you cry.
Going back to God is the best. Her human wisdom hasnt helped afterall.
According to a relationship preacher,he said “if you want to have fun, get a hobby don’t use people’s heart to catch fun”.It is very immature,s selfish and unserious for Blaise to keep seeing a lady for such a long time without any intention of wanting to settle down with her.
Secondly,i think it isn’t a problem for a man to be clingy and all that in a relationship but for a female,yes. It gives off the smell of desperation around you which scares men alot.
Am glad Paris finally realized her mistakes and turned to God. However, only in God can we find true love, l mean love without conditions and in him shall all our heart desires be fulfilled.
Am glad that she finally retraced her steps back to God because he alone can guarantee true love. In him alone are we assured of our heart desires.
There was desperation. But in God lies perfect love. We all need to be loved and and at the same vain have someone to love back.It not always good to be in a haste when looking for something, cos sometimes, it gets things worse than expected. We need that companionship, but not at all cost. Sometimes, it’s good for both partners to have space. It’s only in the hand of God to prepare better things.
Sex as said, doesn’t guarantee longetivity of relationship. Many people have been prey to this ideology…you will be dumped once used. So, You should seek solace in the Lord he will give you the rightful person in your life.
Sorry dear Paris… But men can be mean ooo.. haba! Anyways, let me affirm the obvious again, sex cannot ever be the determinant or yardstick to sustainable relationship… A man who want have sex as a means to marrying you only sees you as a sex doll to gratify his desire…
Going into her shoes in minutes of reflection over this story, I understood that the reason for her desperate search for love was because she may not have experienced being loved by humans during her early stage of life. The early stage of life is most times crucial is patterning the way people may behave. For instance, when I was a kid I always craved to follow my mates and play football and do stuffs that my mates do but me and my siblings were not allowed to go out to do such because of security reasons. Reaching my teen years, when I had a bit of liberty, I started to try to do those things which I wasn’t given the chance to do when I was a kid. This made me act less than I was supposed to act, I was acting childishly.
However, I am happy that she has remembered what she is supposed to do, that is to return to God. In him will she find love much more than she can ever crave for
I was feeling a little lovesick, so I had to read this story again. I believe its only in God we can find true love, but the question that has been nagging at me, that I need answers to is, dating at the age of 19, is it okay as a believer? And the relationship isn’t lustful, but vying into the direction of godliness. Can one with the aid of God and his plans still go into it?
It is good to have friends of both sexes but dating should be in the context of courtship and moderated by the Holy Spirit to prevent the corruption of the flesh taking over. You may wish to read the following article to see the rules for godly dating:
https://edithohaja.com/7-proven-guidelines-godly-dating-miracle-nwokedi/
God bless you!
Desperation can make people do things they ought not do. Paris was too desperate and this made her to forget what the bible said which after she regretted and later return to God. She should know that sex does not guarantee love and we should not let our needs take hold of us.
Paris dear sorry for the pain u have been thru. Thank God for letting u understand that without him, there is no love. Some pple are in such pain currently. Thanks. I will love if u organize a seminar on this (searching for love) to educate and minister to young girls.
Don’t compromise your faith because of desperation. Trust that true love will find uou. Thanks, Ma, for that wonderful piece of advice.
Story was quite interesting but if you ask me, true love only exists when you have God. Afterall, God is love.
Never should we compromise our faith in desperation.
Trust that true love would surely find you
Such a touching story. No love is as true as God’s love. No matter how lonely and abandoned we feel, we should never forget that. I’m so glad she went back to Him.
I don’t think there’s something wrong with being clingy but doing that with the wrong person is when it becomes not healthy.
And not all church guys are stuffy though some actually are.
God is never an option, you can’t let him out of your life and expect things to flow well for you, thank God for Paris
I feel so bad for paris but then God is the only true champion one would desire.
I feel bad for Paris, but getting back to God is the best thing she could do for herself. Let the man that’ll come for her find God and come through God to her.